|
|
My Story
God or slave...?
Walking proudly through my domain. My subjects scatter at my feet. A king and my kingdom. The dark is comforting me as I gaze onto that single flickering star above. Trees drop their leaves to carpet where I walk. Worship me for I am all that is perfect, for I am all that is great. I can be your king, your god, your all. Bow down before me and I will look upon you with friendly eyes. Look up to me. I live here in this planet of aliens who do not understand a word I care to utter to them. None of these grotesque beings dare approach me unless accompanied by a mind long lost to the world of the sober. This is my realm and I live to watch them tiptoe around my grounds, almost scared. Scared of my greatness? Perhaps but it might be fear of a god walking among them.
Avoiding my gaze and averting their eyes while I walk to the edges of my kingdom. You are the first I have talked to in a while. Is it I avoiding them or them avoiding me? I do not have the time to dwell on simple thought. I have land to rule. Their land moves small hurricanes of litter into my home. Their land pollutes my loyal trees, fills my nights with noise and every once in a while an exaggerated metal beast will dare to enter my land. Their metal beasts roar at all hours, they do not need rest. My most loyal subjects fill the skies and report news to me. They are spies. You would never suspect my subjects. You could be being watched right now. I know all. I am the ruler of this land. I am god, king, ruler, lord, royalty, highness. Kiss my feet and worship me. You are not worthy.
But I welcome you to my home. I enjoy the company of the inferior. Enjoy the cool breeze of the evening. I command the weather. That star above us is mine. That society of beasts you conform to stole all the others. I once led a normal life like you. I had a job, an education, a house and even a reality. I do not have royal blood but I claim the throne to this land. It was simple to claim with my huge army. I sleep under the skies to remain one with my world. Roofs steal what connection I have with this realm. I did not choose this life style but it was given to me. Chance or even fate but it is mine. You can never have it, posses it, own it. It is mine.
Then it hits me like a chainsaw to the face. Beastly godless behemoths begin to drown me again as always. I lay here wondering if I will make it out alive. I still can never attract the promise of tomorrow. The cold winds suddenly chill me right to the bone. I still cant remember when I lost my grips on reality. Lights from the outside just wont leave me alone. A night never passes by without further disturbance of my mind. My brain twitches with every noise and my sanity is further removed with every movement. I lie screaming in the dark hopeful that I will be left well alone. Curled up in my own filth hating every second of my life. And yet they laugh. The people on the outside laugh at my hideous misfortune. They taunting rings out in my ears and digs into my mind like an axe. How can I dream when I have no hope, how can I wish when it is impossible, how can I believe when I have no faith. I have no possessions in this strictly material alien planet.
I hear intoxicated drawling voices, stumbling and groaning in sheer drunkenness. Their black feet tap the pathway near where I lie in misery. Here in this hell there is no such thing as a quite night. These creatures travel in packs and talk in curse words. Often cruel in nature with their ghastly thoughts I pray you avoid them at all costs. As they laugh at jokes of nothingness one senses my pain and moves. I lie still in hope that they will move away. But they dont. Their gruesome ideals hurl rocks at me. You can only run from a society that hurls rocks at you. I clamber to my feet only to run blindly into the dark.
I do not know where I am running or whom I am running to. This entire society takes a single look at me and rejects me. Am I even on of their species? I can not even tell as it has been forever and a day since my reflection last graced me with its presence. What is a reflection? I reflect but I do not see. My mind burns with questions as my legs ache with cold. I have run from my nest of filth and now find myself in the bright lights. Bright city lights burn my eyes. Always have I tried to avoid this place but now I have run into its cold grip. Society winces as my imperfection enters even its dirtiest streets.
I walk like in some kind of a trance. It is their city ruled by hypocrisy, drugs and hate. I dont fit in. It is a place of many crawling creatures, of rubbish and dirt, of crime. A place even too dirty for me to even want to sleep. Ruled by money they all are. It is their society who am I to judge? In fact who am I? Am I a scar on societys perfect features? Nay scar is too gentler word perhaps a pustulant festering maggot-filled wound in society? I walk slowly avoiding the hypnotic eyes of many. Scared I will be lured further from the land I know. I see the corner of my land and run. Leaving behind the judgement of society. Leaving behind their ideas and expectations. I leave.
I lie down in the dirt and pray to nobody that the rest of my night will go undisturbed. Questions wash me into a merciless oblivion ocean located in some dark corner of my mind. And thus flows time. The irresistible, irreversible inexplicable strings which bind us, puppets. Am I man or mouse? A god or slave? Royalty or just lying face down in my own filth, etching my thoughts in the dirt.
My JBosley (My Sister)
Adoptable 1