Welcome, guest, to The Neo Project Guild Website! The guild was created by sunny_forever on November 2, 2008.
All of our graphics, CSS coding, and content are 100% ORIGINAL. Don't steal our stuff, mmkay? Because then we'd have to report you...and then you would be promptly chased down by an angry mob of mallet-whacking TNP members. It's not a pleasant sight...
We'll get you and your pretty little dog, too!
Awards
***THIS SECTION IS CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION. BE CHILL--WE'LL HAVE IT UP AND RUNNING SOON***
Committees
***THIS SECTION IS CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION. BE CHILL--WE'LL HAVE IT UP AND RUNNING SOON***
Neomail Cara (carafae)
Guild Relations deal with recruiting and welcoming members, answering questions about the guild and showing new members around, etc.! If you'd like to be a big brother/sister for someone, this committee is for you!
Neomail Cel (aikuanda)
Guild events are things such as themed months/days, holiday celebrations, guild plots, etc.! If running activities and coordinating things for other members to do is your forte, Events Committee is a good place to be!
Neomail Aria (oblivionxriku)
Guild services include adoptions, avatar lending, guild auctions & trades, guides, etc.! If you like helping others and are an experienced neopian, you might want to consider the Services Committee!
Neomail Sunny (sunny_forever)
Do you want to be a leader? Are you good at allocating responsibilities, setting goals and deadlines, and keeping things organized? Are you a responsible, active member of TNP? C.E.O. of a committee is for you! Be sure to include which committee you are interested in heading. ;)
F.A.Q.
I want to get more involved in the guild. I have all these great ideas--how do I put them into action?
TNP is a very member interactive and self sufficient guild, meaning our members are responsible for creating things to do, thinking of ideas for new features, and the overall day-to-day management of the guild.
Hosting your own activities/guild pages is easy: All you need to do is create a petpage with your information and neomail it to council. We'll check out your idea for the big OK, help you edit and develop your page, and then have a committee help you advertise and run your idea!
The Code
We'd like all pages that link from the website to be uniform, so please use the following code when creating your page:
How do I get on council?
Council positions are earned through hard work and dedication--we don't /give/ them to just anyone.
However, if you put in the effort, a staff position is very easy to come by. The best thing you can do to show you're committed is to start your own activity or event (see above) and get involved in the guild! Your hard work will definitely pay off. ;)
Can you make me a [choose one: layout, userlookup, petpage, button, banner]?
Sorry--I'm not making custom graphics right now. However, I DO take requests for my graphics page, located here. IMPORTANT: by taking requests, I mean that if there is a certain image you would like to see me use for a lookup, I'll do my best to make that lookup available; I will not be able to put any kind of text or insignia on the lookups--such as a guild name--because they are for everyone to use. Please read through the request information thoroughly before neomailing me.
RULE NUMBA ONE - NO LURKING
You must spend every waking moment in the guild. Don't eat. Don't sleep. Don't even stop to take a shower. Participation is crucial or you will be banned for all eternity!
SRS FACE.
Okay, okay. That was a bit extreme. Point is, we know you have a life. Don't stress about being hyperactive on the message boards, or missing a few weeks here and there, especially if you've already introduced yourself and shown some sort of interest in the guild. WE are here for YOU, not the other way around. So just stop by every now and then, let us know you're still breathing, and that's all you need to do.
However, if you have just joined and remain inactive for several weeks, you are crossing over to serious lurker status, which makes you fair game to be booted from the guild.
LURKER: N. SOMEONE PATHOLOGICALLY AFRAID AND/OR AVOIDANT OF THE MESSAGE BOARDS. DISLIKES SOCIAL SITUATIONS, TALKING, AND ANY OTHER FORM OF HUMAN CONTACT
RULE NUMBA TWO - NO WAFFLING SPAM AWAY, MY FRIEND
Feel free to...
Post
One
Letter
Posts
As
Often
As
You
Like.
In
Fact
It's
Even
Better
To
Use
Chatspeak
So
That
You
Can
Make
Them
Even
More
Pointless
And
Annoying.
This
Includes,
Among
Others,
Chatspeak
Such
As
BRB
LOL
OMG
ROFL
GTG
JK
THX
TTYL
And
My
Personal
Favorite,
K.
Please, try not to stun our tiny brains with your abysmal vocabulary and superior intellect.
At TNP, we prefer our messages to be as bland, pointless, and indecipherable as humanly possible. So please, indulge us by typing the most obnoxious and/or irrelevant post you can possibly think of. Here--use some of these, hot off the Newbie boards. You might want to take notes:
YAY! THIS IS MY 100TH POST!
YAY! THIS IS MY 101 POST!
YAY! THIS IS MY [Fill in blank] POST!
Vote for my pet in the BC! K thx bye!
Is anyone on?
JELLY WORLD IS REALLY REAL!
Weeeeeeeeee!
Is anyone on NOW?
ZOMG. Buy cheap stuff @ my shop!
I am Oprah. For real.
I HEART TWILIGHT!
EVERYBODY STOP! JELLY WORLD IS REAL!!
OMG TWILIGHT!
THE CHAIN GAME! (AKA HACKERS UNITE!)
ZOMG. I luv ur pets can I have one?
Give me neopoints. I know you have some.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Talk Here!
How do I post a message?
JELLY WORLD EXISTS, I TELL YOU!
SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 10 MORE PEOPLE AND YOU WILL FIND 1,000,000 NPS! IT REALLY WORKS!
I see Jelly people.
TWILIGHT FANS UNITE!
Is anyone on now? How about now? Nvrmind. Bye.
wasn't that just wonderful, stimulating conversation?? don't you just want to go post some more now?
Also, we just love reading the same posts over and over again, so feel free to overload all your messages with as much copypasta as you like.
COPYPASTA: N. A BIG WHOPPING PLATEFUL OF REPEATED POSTS. USED FREQUENTLY BY THOSE WHO A) SEEM TO THINK ALL MEMBERS HAVE SHORT TERM MEMORY -OR- B) JUST LIKE REPEATING THINGS.
Okay, the truth? We want to encourage you guys to use proper grammar, and make your posts somewhat content-rich. Are we saying you can't have fun? No way! We want you to be full out silly, crazy, random, and just be yourselves! That's what we're here for! We're promoting intelligent and witty conversation, just without the junk. The guild boards stay spam free and members don't have to read through a gazillion messages to catch up on the day's conversation--life is good! :)
RULE NUMBA THREE - NO SPOOFING LET'S CON OUR MEMBERS--THEY'LL NEVER KNOW
Okay, here's the deal. You must donate every last neopoint in your possession to TNP. In return, we will promote your rank from MEASLY LITTLE N00B to SLIGHTLY LESS MEASLY AND LITTLE N00B, and then we'll keep all your neopoints. Because we're greedy and lazy and--let's face it--we really want that MSPP avatar.
Yes. Bow down to our evil mastery. -insert maniacle laughter-
Oh! And once we're done with that, we'll say we are going to give out prizes for a contest/lottery/raffle, while inadvertently asking you to donate twice their worth, thereby scamming you out of your hard-earned neopoints once again. Ha ha. Aren't we tricky.
But wait--there's more! Then we'll set up a "Guild Till" to brag about how many neopoints we've managed to yoink from all our members (Because we have nothing better to do. Duh.) and as soon as we hit, oh say, a million or so, we will shut down our guild, run off to deposit our 'MSPP till' and vanish from the face of Neopia. Wash, rinse, and repeat.
It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, i tell you! genious, i say!
The truth hurts, my friend. Those other guilds have been decieving you. At TNP, we follow all Neopets Terms and Conditions, meaning we DO NOT give out prizes, or promote raffles, lotteries, parties, or contests of any kind. We also will never have a donation shop. These things are just a spoof to swindle you out of your neopoints.
SPOOF: N. A MOCKING IMITATION, PRANK, HOAX, ESP. ONE USED TO DECIEVE.
Furthermore, we want you to keep your neopoints. That's right: We don't want them. WE are here to help YOU. If you're happy, we're happy.
But, if you absolutely feel like you need to do something in gratitude, don't pay us back--pay it forward. Do something nice for someone else and pass on the kindness! That way, everyone wins.
RULE NUMBA FOUR - CARROT! CRY ME A RIVER
Are you new? Do you feel lost and alone? You probably haven't gotten to know many people, you might have tried to introduce yourself and maybe felt like you were ignored. Maybe you want to get more involved, but you don't really know how or where to start. Maybe, you're just overall a bit overwhelmed, and you just need some reassurance.
Ah, well, sorry. We're too busy to help you; our new members aren't really all that important to us, anyway. If they're confused, that's their problem.
Everyone point and laugh at their pathetic helplessness. Ha ha ha!
Yes, we're kidding. Do you want to know a secret? Our members are THE most important priority in the guild. Period. That's why TNP was created--we want to help each person individually, get to know them, help them to make friends, build confidence, and branch out into new experiences and interests! YOU matter to us very, very much!
So where do you start? First of all--relax. You have plenty of time to get to know the veterans and get involved; there's no rush. Take some time to just take a look around, get a feel for the guild, and get an idea of what we're all about.
Secondly, ask yourself: What do you want to get out of your time here? Do you want to become a writer for the Neopian Times? Do you want to learn to design your own lookups and petpages? Is there a certain avatar you're after? Whatever it is, you can achieve it here. It is our goal to help you reach your goals, whatever they may be. Your portfolio will be an important part of the process, so keep reading--we'll tell you all about getting started on that path in the next section.
Thirdly, embrace the power of the carrot. That's right, my friend. Carrots are friends, not food, here at TNP. If you ever feel downright frustrated, ignored, or just in need of a helping hand, grab a carrot and chuck it at the nearest unsuspecting member. Just type in *carrot* on the message board, and you're sure to get everyone's attention. They'll stop what they're doing and give you a hand.
CARROT: N. AN SOS SYMBOL, TO BE USED ONLY IN TRULY DESPERATE SITUATIONS. SHOULD SOMEONE ABUSE THE SACRED CARROT SYBMOL, SURROUNDING MEMBERS ARE WHOLLY WITHIN THEIR RIGHTS TO WHACK SAID MEMBER WITH WOODEN MALLETS AND/OR PELT THEM WITH GLOBS OF JELLY.
RULE NUMBA FIVE - NO FLAMING BURN, BABY, BURN
You see something in the guild or on our website that you don't like and/or get in an argument with a member or someone on staff. Your options are to:
A) Run to the message boards, complain to anyone who will listen about how truly horrible and awful the guild and its ideas are. Then, when you are finally deleted from the guild, promptly steal all the ideas/graphics/CSS coding and use them for your own guild.
B) Step back, take a deep breath...and then run screaming to the guild leader about the injustices you have suffered. Neither propose a solution nor the source of the problem--that's not important. The object is to see how loud and long you can yell before you vocal chords give out.
C) If someone is rude to you, says something that offends you, or is doing something else that they shouldn't, immediately make it known to the entire guild and effectively start a mass riot among members, because that will surely solve the problem.
-OR-
D) Report the guild leader and everyone with purple shoes to The Neopets Team. Don't worry about getting the facts straight, just say whatever happens to pop into your head at the time. You might want to embellish your story with anything that thoroughly flames the guild and its members--the more you make up, the better. Title your message BURN, BABY, BURN and send it multiple times--because it's a known fact that TNT will reply more quickly that way.
FLAMING: V. TO TYPE ANGRY, CRTICIAL, DISPARAGING MESSAGES, OFTEN IN AN ATTEMPT TO CREATE AS MUCH WIDESPREAD CHAOS AND DRAMA AS POSSIBLE.
The correct answer is: E) Report whatever is bothering you to the guild leader in a private neomail and let her deal with the problem accordingly. Chances are, she'll be able to find a solution quickly, and avoid a huge confrontation altogether.
DISCLAIMER: TNT IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOST OR STOLEN CARROTS. MEMBERS WHO HAVE AN AVERSION TO JELLY OR OTHER STICKY SUBSTANCES SHOULD STEER CLEAR OF THE GUILD MESSAGE BOARDS. WATCH OUT FOR RANDOM FLYING MALLOTS AND PLEASE REFRAIN FROM LURKING, WAFFLING, FLAMING, SPOOFING, OR PARTICIPATING IN OTHER HAZARDOUS GUILD BEHAVIOR.
Question: Do I need a porfolio?
Answer: Yes.
Q: Why?
A: Because I said so.
Q: That's not a reason.
A: Jelly Bob commandeth thee.
Q: ... :[ This is a waste of time.
A: How dare you question the Supreme One? INFIDEL! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!
Q: o_O Whoa, whoa. I didn't mean--
A: YOU HAVE INSULTED THE MIGHTY JELLY LORD! NOW YOU MUST PERISH!
Q: No, NOO! I didn't mean it! I take it back! I TAKE IT BACK!
A: MEEPITS, ATTACK!
Q: *runs away screaming*
A: QUICK! DON'T LET 'EM GET AWAY!
DO NOT QUESTION THE SUPREME ONE. Make a portfolio or suffer the wrath of the all-powerful Jelly Bob!
What is a Portfolio?
A portfolio is a petpage that you fill with personal information, goals, and, most importantly, your accomplishments and progress. That way, when you set a goal, you have a gameplan to reach it. Plus, it's just cool to look back at all your progress over time.
And so you can laugh at all the silly people who aren't as cool as you because they don't have one. Shame on them!
Your portfolio will be put in a guild directory so that everyone can visit and see your progress, give you advice and help...
...and stuff your shoes with pinchits when you're slacking... Ha ha ha!
What Should I Put in my Portfolio?
First, you'll want to state your goal and, most importantly, how you're going to achieve it. It's best to have small goals that will eventually get you to a bigger goal.
Practice is the key to becoming better at anything, so a portfolio will encourage you to stay consistent. Maybe make a goal to update your portfolio every day, or every three days, and stick with it!
Also, you may want to include a profile of yourself (your likes, dislikes, name, description, etc.) so that members can get to know more about you! A description (hair and eye color) is also helpful for the guild scrapbook screenies. ;) Feel free to make up your own character (your appearance/ attire, personality, etc.), and even a fursona of yourself.
FURSONA: N. FURRY + PERSONA; COMMONLY, A CAT, DOG, OR WOLF FORM OF ONESELF BUT MAY INCLUDE MORE SURREAL CREATURES, SUCH AS ANGELS, DEMONS, ALIENS, FAIRIES, VAMPIRES, AND OTHER MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES.
But I'm not very good at HTML...
Not a problem. We've made some CSS templates for you to use, so just copy and paste on of the follow codes into your page and you're ready to go!
V. Tranquil Beauty
V. Winter Afternoon
V. Á la Carte
V. Walk on the Beach
Be sure to send the link to Aria (oblivionxriku) when you're finished!
OUR MISSION:
To:
a) Awe you with our rad PWNful skills. We know, they're awesome.
b) Overload your senses with our incoherent babble and provide you with as much useless information as possible, while simultaneously brainwashing you into thinking popcorn is THE number one essential necessity of life.
-AND-
c) take over the world of Neopia as we know it, with the use of our trusty meepit sidekicks and the power of cheese.
Don't laugh. You know you'd do anything for a slice of cheese.
*pokes from Jelly Bob* Okay, okay. So maybe there were a few tiny, insignificant little details that we forgot to mention...
We might, also, just maybe, want to create opinionated, independent-thinking, confident neopians and help you develop your own unique talents through artistic and creative expression.
Pft. Like that makes any sense.
We also want to focus on the things that you enjoy the most--and get rid of the things you don't.
Have a suggestion? Question? Complaint? Comment?
That's sad.
Watch us pretend to care.
TELL US ABOUT IT! We want to hear from you! Tell us what's on your mind, and we'll do our best to make it happen.
We believe that everyone on Neo has a unique talent that's just waiting to be discovered. By creating a fun and productive environment we hope to deepen your understanding of a wide range of interests and to open up your creative senses.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
Please, do go on. We're riveted.
The Neo Project is designed to provide you with the resources necessary to pursue your goals--and to maximize motivation and success levels. Basically, we wanna see you SHINE, kid!
Touching, is it not?
*tear*
The Neo Project is updated daily with our latest accomplishments, most popular activities, and the ever-deepening collection of information and talent. We hope you find it useful. If you don't...
If you don't too bad for you. We enjoy watching you suffer.
...let us know! We'll find something to help you out.
But, if dream-chasing isn't high on your to-do list, we're content just having you here, enjoying our atmosphere.
Not really. You slackers. Shouldn't everyone have a million neopoints by now, four painted pets, and a five story NeoHome? I mean, come on. That's basic.
And that's all! So sit back, buckle up, and get ready to PAR-TAY!
Be safe, have fun, and tip your guild leaders. We hope to be able to make your time on Neopets as crazy-fun and entertaining for you as legally possible.
Now, go and do something useful with this newfound enlightenment. Like cut your toenails. And find us more cheese.
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