Unless you have a disease, or have taken too many rides in the dryer, you have probably guessed that my name is SantaKillz__zz. Well, good job. More than I was expecting. Have a cookie that I have no intention of actually giving you.
But, no need for formalities. Call me Santa. We're friends, right? Right? Of course, I expected no less of a response from my new best friend.
Oh yes, we will have fun.

Moving along. (About time since it took two whole paragraphs just to explain your own name to these people)

Who? That? Yes, erm, that was just my Articulation-in my Head. Everyone's gotta have something, right? Nobody's perfect. Besides, most people only have a Voice-in-their-Head, but Mother says I outgrew that phase when I was only two months old.

Speaking of age, (And speaking for a long time of it.) I am already 49336 old! (Hah! Divide that into days yourselves you lazy-)Quiet, Articulation.

Erm...anyway, I had a really great first birthday! Mother says that a year for me is different than a year for year, so I'm not a baby anymore. (Debatable.) I got a lot of books and even an earing! (I got TinkerToys.)

In my free time, I really enjoy reading, especially books about magic and other worlds and stuff. I also like the ones with pictures. Articulation likes to read horror stories. (I like the happy endings.) I also enjoy swimming and going on boats. Mother takes me to Krawk Island a lot and I, being on of the "natives", get to play on the pirate ships. (So many fun games to play with the cannon.) I have a bunch of other lesser hobbies, but that is what most of my time is spent doing.

Hm...goals...I guess I don't really have any. I am very happy being painted pirate, but Mother is spending a bit of time earning money for a Darigan Paint Brush. I'm not sure which color I'd rather be, but as long as I can still wear my Pirate earring and stuff, I'll probably be happy.(Psh. Girls and their jewlery. Now, onto the point, what do you mean "NO GOALS"!? You should listen to dear Artie more often, child. I have plenty of goals; more then enough to share with you.)

(Okay, so, one of my goals is to destroy the Meepits. I assure you, however, that I am doing it for the most selfish reasons possible. Usually when I talk of demolishing the species of Meepits I get a round of applause and sometimes even called a 'hero'. I, Articulation, assure you that I am no hero. I am the super evil, wickedly cool looking, end-boss to any video game with class. I am the freakin' arch-nemesis for crying out loud. Those Meepits must be even more horrid than I was previously led to believe if people could think that I am the hero.)

(Back to my plot- ...goals... - I want to destroy them because I have already achieved great and destructive, erm, achievements against Neopia, but most of the paparazzi would rather give the credit to those cute little furry balls of CPOYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. So, I guess you would call that my biggest goal in life. And since my darling alter-ego, or whatever I should be calling him, will also share the same goal as his most trusted and loyal companion, Sweet Articulation.)

Um...so...right, I dont have any goals. Moving right along: my training! I used to be Mother's battle pet, but then she decided to buy the Lab Map for sister Arishako, and my weapons were taken away. (Probably because 'sweet sister Arishako' could beat you already. When she was three weeks old.) It was either that, or I would have to be zapped by the Lab Ray in hopes of raising stats, and Mother didn't want me to possible lose my colour or species. (I thought you were just talking about how you wanted to try different colours and 'find yourself'. Weakling) I said be quiet, Articulation!

So, um, I'm going to tell you about Mother now. She's always nice to all of us, even Articulation. I was really happy for that, because many pets probably wind up in the pound labeled as 'crazy' for a situation similar to mine. And I am most assuredly not crazy, right, Articulation? (Am I suposed to ignore the irony of you asking the voice in your head if you are crazy? I don't think I can manage that.) Your not a voice, you are an Articulation. See, it's even capitalized, so you have to be more important than that. (Fine. You are not crazy. Now complement me some more. I think this shirt I wore today sets off my eyes. You would agree, of course, right?)

About my petpet. We actually aren't very close. I am not to fond of Snowbunnies. (Somehow I am inclined to disbelieve this statement, considering his masculinity in other areas.) And we don't talk very much. I do know that Mother named him Avatar_. She couldn't think of anything better, and I don't think she really liked him either. Sometimes I feel bad for him, so I call him Avi, named after one of my favourite authors. Luckily, Over_Reacting plays with him alot, so neither of them get to lonely. But I can't get lonely. I have Articulation. (Did anyone else get the picture of the crazy kid sitting next to the evil subconcious in a giant sunflower field? Or am I just extra emotional today?)

Mother says that when Avi turns one year old, I can get a new petpet. I don't know why Mother wants to wait until then, but I am looking foward to it. She did promise Over_Reacting that she wouldn't take Avi off on his birthday though. I'm happy for that, as it would be very cruel for the poor bunny. I wonder what petpet we will be getting next? (I hope it's willing to work in the ever-expanding field of evil as my underling. That's the trouble with underlings these days. The more you break the harder it seems to find new ones.) I want it to be something soft, but I don't really think Articulation would apreciate that. (Yes, I've always thought of myself as the 'angelpuss' type of a guy.)

Living at home can get kind of difficult around here. Arishako says we should get another sibling, but Mother isn't as up to the idea. She says the house is loud enough already, and besides, she's secretly not sure if I count as two pets by myself. On a usual day, I get waken up early by Arishako's screaming, the time being just after dawn. She pretends to hate the Lab Ray, leaving kicking (assuming she has legs that day) and screaming. But, if Mother ever forgets to take Arishako, then she will pount all day. I play in my room for most of the day. That way I wont break anything. Usually when I go outside bad things seem to happen around me. But it's not me, it's Articulation. (Oh, sure, the old blame-it-on-the-secret-second-personality, please, that's, like, the oldest excuse in the book.)

For some reason, Articulation doesn't break the toys I have in my room. I don't know why, but I don't care. They are the best toys in the whole house and Mother knows it. Arishako and Over_Reacting pretend not to care, they pretend they don't want my toys but I know they are lying. I have buckets. True, some people don't see buckets as a toy, but they are wrong. They have no idea just how much fun a person han have with just one bucket. If they tried, just once, for only a moment, then their life would change forever. It's as the old saying goes, "Once you've had bucket, you'll never go pail!

Wait? Was that the saying? I can never remember those silly old things. Oh well. That is of little matter as buckets truely are the greatest thing to happen to this world.

Back to my story; I play in my room for most of the day. It's usually quiet. Arishako is either gossiping with her friends, showing off what the Lab Ray gave her while they squeal and clap as if they have never seen a +3 agility before, or hiding in the closet, crying because she got turned into a male again. She hates being turned into a male. I think she's crazy, but that doesn't matter. Over_Reacting just kind of sits around and stares at the wall. I think he called it "menstruation". (*COUGH**HACK*WHEEZE* 'meditation'. Sad when I'm the voice of reason around here.)

Come to think of it, Articulation doesn't often bother me when I'm playing with my buckets. I wonder why. (Well, stop wondering. What, do you think that would be my weakness, or something? Why on earth would I have a weakness as random and stupid as that? I just get kinda creeped out when I watch him sit around being entertained by that thing for hours. I have to go cause devistation and war elsewhere for the sake of my remaining sanity.)

*sigh* Yes, Articulation does get the both of us in a lot of trouble. It seems the Haunted Fairgrounds is his favourite place to go for a walk. (I like their warm smiling faces when I walk by?) Sometimes he also travels to the Virtuepets Space Station with me and Mother. (What? I have to keep up my evil reputation and be seen in all of the hippest evil people places. It's very hard to keep the evil public's intrest without a non-evil scandal these days.)

Then, near the end of the day, when Mother comes home, we all have dinner together. We all talk about where we went on our walks, or Random Events that happened; just normal stuff like that. (Yes, me and the Pant Devil made great friends.) Just a normal life really. (Except for the fact that you're barking mad.)

Next, my likes. Well, as you might have guessed, I really like buckets. It's personal, really. I have just always liked them. They even calm me down when Articulation is acting up. Which is often. I also like Articulation, as well. He is my best friend. He helps me in the battledome a lot, to! I almost never lose when Artie is in the right mood! (I am very creative.) I like my siblings and Mother as well. Another one of my likes is digging. Mother says I dig like a dog, whatever that means. I dig really deep holes sometimes. Maybe I didn't mention this earlier, but I sleep in an hole I dug in my room. Yep. Mother was so proud when she came home one day and saw that I had removed the floorboards that she couldn't speak! I love making Mother proud. It's probably my biggest hobby.

My dislikes, I guess. I really am not to fond of vegetables. When I was first born, Mother, who had never had any Neopets before, thought I could only eat meat, so that's all I was fed. But, don't worry about your Neoepts! I don't ever hunt, or eat pets. You should probably keep them away from Articulation, however. (I like Maraquan pets the best. First class seafood.) I don't like swimming. It's kind of hard for a pirate to not like the water, but I manage. I fell in the water once and Mother had to jump in and grab me. I was so young, it is perfectly normal for a neopet as young as I was to be scared and not know how to swim. (That was last week...)I said QUIET, ARTICULATION! (Hehehe, you're just upset because the girls probably think you're a dork now.) That's not true! Neopets is NOT a dating service. (The sad part is he probably spent hours memorizing the rules so he could catch me on that one.)