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I f I A m - Nine Days

So you're standin' on a ledge, it looks like you might fall
it's so far down, or maybe you were thinkin' about jumping
but you could have it all, if you learned a little patience
for though I cannot fly, I'm not content to crawl
so give me a little credit, have in me a little faith
I wanna be with you forever, and tomorrow's not too late
but it's always too late when you've got nothin', so you say
and you should never let the sun set on tomorrow...
...before the sun rises today.

If I am another waste of everything you dreamed of, I will let you down
if I am only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down

So you're walking on the edge as you wait your turn to fall
but you're so far gone that you don't see the hands upheld to catch you
and you could find the fault in the heart that you've been handed
for though you cannot fly, you're not content to crawl
and it's always too late when you've got nothing, so you say
but you should never let the sun set on tomorrow
before the sun rises...

If I am another waste of everything you hoped for, I will let you down
if I am only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down

so you're standin' on a ledge, it looks like you might fall...

If I am another waste of everything you dreamed of, I will let you down
if I am only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down

the answers we find are never what we had in mind
so we make it up as we go along
you don't talk of dreams, I won't mention tomorrow
and we won't make those promises that we can't keep.

I will never leave you...
I will not let you down...
I will never leave you...
I will not let you down...

I n t r u d e

Darkness looms around every corner of the deadly silent forest, the chilling wind howling through the night, rustling the dying leaves on the almost barren trees. A single twig snaps, the sound echoing through the wasteland that was once a majestic forest. A brief glimpse of something white draws your attention to the nearby brush, but it's gone so quickly, you wonder if you'd seen anything at all.guest..." the soft whisper of your name reverberates in the air around you, seeming to come from every direction at once.guest..." it whispers again, this time a little louder, and it comes with the realization that this voice sounds distinctly feminine. Another flash of white briefly crosses your vision, and you're sure you saw something this time. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the sillouhette of a wolf stands shadowed in the moonlight for an instant, but after you blink, it's changed into a somewhat human-esque form. You blink rapidly and wonder again if you're seeing things. Shrugging it off, you step towards this new stranger uneasily, but instead of advancing, she backs up into the darkness, shadows enveloping her form once again.You're on my turf, now..." an inhuman growl seems to vibrate the air around you.Better watch your step, guest...

D a w n i n g

Rina has never had what you would call an 'easy' life. Abandoned by her parents and left to raise her younger siblings alone at a very young age, it was no surprise that she became bitter, withdrawn, and angry. The youngest had barely even opened his eyes before they were left to fend for themselves, helpless and alone. The land in which they were born- Kurai- was not a friendly place to young pups. Its pack long since disbanded since the death of its leader, the territory was inhabited by renegades that took the land for themselves. Starving, too young to hunt, and desperate for food, the young trio was forced to rely on the eldest to steal their meals. Rina was, by no means, in the position to even hope to defend herself if she was caught, but with no other options available to her, there was little choice but to try her luck. Time after time she stole their food, and time after time she was caught and beaten for it. In the beginning, she was caught almost every attempt, but as time went by, she began to get more skilled at it. She learned to fight at a very young age, but it did her, her little brother and sister little good, since the rogue lupes that prowled the land were still much stronger than Rina.

It wasn't long before she learned to hunt for her own food, but much to her siblings' chagrin, she refused to leave their homeland. Rina was too proud to let herself be run out of Kurai, so she continued to defy the only authority and fight back against their aggressors. She made it her life's purpose to watch over Lysannai and Saiyber, making sure they came under no harm. Her childhood was brutal as she endured the abuse dealt to her time and time again, but she continued to bide her time. When the day finally came that she was ready to challenge the older lupes, her brother and sister watched the bloody battles from the sidelines, frightened and horrified. With Rina's fighting skills and endurance honed from all of the beatings she had taken over the years, the elders didn't stand a chance against her fury. Becoming lost in a blinding haze of rage, there, in front of her family, Rina let her hate consume her, and in a matter of minutes her opponent's bloodied corpse lay slain at her paws, the sight striking fear into her brother and sister. Upon recognizing the look of terror in the eyes of her only loved ones, Rina came back to herself, and was instantly assaulted with guilt, shame, and disgust. She'd murdered in front of her own kin.

Subsequently, out of fear for their lives and hatred for her power, Rina and her family were exiled from their homeland. While she would have normally fought back, Rina was almost relieved to leave Kurai, anxious to leave behind the awful memories of her childhood. The change in scenery, however, would not banish the memories of her brutal killing from her siblings' minds, nor from her own. Saiyber, the youngest, came to resent her for it, putting her at fault for most of their lives. The horrors he'd been exposed to at his young age made him become bitter and jaded like Rina, and it made him grow up to be somewhat of an anti-social being. Lysannai, however, somehow grew up to be the other siblings' opposite. She was sweet, kind, and understanding, especially to Rina herself. While the sisters did not have an especially close relationship, they were there for each other when it was needed. Ly, when her compassionate heart and trusting nature got her hurt, would rely on Rina for strength, and when Rina was hurting, she would rely on Ly's empathy and kindness. Each has saved the other in more ways than one, and given the other hope when they needed it most.

Saiyber, the youngest of the three, refused to get close to any of them, instead withdrawing into his own empty shell. He loved his family, but he harbored a hatred that, with no other outlet for it, would be released upon them. As soon as he came of age, Saiyber went his own separate way from his sisters, a brief goodbye as his only parting gift when they would probably never cross paths again. Ly and Rina have found perhaps a temporary home in Shukumei, but Saiyber remains a wanderer, and has yet to find someone or something that will quell his hatred.

B r i d g e s C r o s s e d

Rina has not had much better experiences as of late than she did in the first year of her life. The recent disappearance of her only remaining lifeline, Cross, has left her bitter and angry, cursing the world for her seemingly endless hurt and despair. Yet, through the pain, there is a shining ray of hope that penetrates her depression- the possibility of his return, and Ice's, however unlikely that may be.

No one seems to know exactly why Rina is the way she is- although those who were and are close to her heart understand. Because of her... shall we say, traumatic experiences, she is always on edge, and always mistrusting of those she doesn't know particularly well. She may be hard to tolerate at first- which is the precise reason that she has so few friends. At first glance to someone unfamiliar that would approach her, she would probably appear rude, arrogant, selfish and extremely defensive-- but to those she knows well and is close to, she actually has a very sweet disposition. While not always the easiest to deal with, to the few friends she does have, she is very loyal, caring and protective.

Despite her changes in attitude towards her friends, however, Rina still continues to hold her head high, and at times may seem exceedingly arrogant. The truth about this is that she is a very proud creature, and there is little in the world that could ever sway her to abandon that. For so much of her life, the only thing that she had was her pride, so it is something she holds in very high regards. Said pride has even been strong enough to keep her mouth shut while she suffered the pain of an unrequited love, and disregarded her feelings in favor of attempting to forget her love.

P r o f i l e

Canine

Height - 31 inches (2'7")
Weight - 57 lbs.
Pelt Color - White/silver with pink stripes
Eye Color - Right eye silver (blind), left eye sky blue
Adornments - Two gold hoops in left ear, golden band around left upper foreleg.
Markings - Single vertical scar over right eye, two over top of muzzle, three (claw marks) on right mid-leg, two ('X' marking) on left shoulder, one on inner side of right lower leg, and two over ankle of left foreleg.
(refer to pictures for examples)

Human

Height - 5'9" (69 inches)
Weight - 114 lbs.
Skin Color - Fair with pink stripes
Hair Color - White/silver
Eye Color - Right eye silver (blind), left eye sky blue
Canine Attributes - Two white wolf ears on top of head, lower legs and feet turn into hind paws, pointed canine teeth, and ivory tail
Clothing - Shoulder-less pink top, baggy dark grey pants
Adornments - Two gold hoops in left ear, golden band around left upper arm, and dark grey gauntlet around right forearm
Markings - Single vertical scar over right eye, two over bridge of nose, three (claw marks) near elbow of right arm, two ('X' marking) on left shoulder, one on right inner forearm, and two outside of left wrist
Weapon - 'Hatsukoi'; double-edged katana carried in sheath across back
(refer to pictures for examples)

Name - Rinasha
Alias - Rina (Colombe to Cross)
Age - Unknown (fully matured)
Sire - Unknown
Dame - Unknown
Lineage - Descendant and reincarnation of the late Kierra
Siblings - Lysannai, Saiyber
Offspring - [adopted] Lissielle (deceased)
Lover - None (unrequited)
Homeland - Kurai

C o m p a n i o n s h i p

Ice
There is no one word to describe the friendship that these two share- it is something sacred and untouchable to Rina. They have been through everything imaginable together, and in the end it has only brought them closer. Ice's recent disappearance has left Rina heartbroken and vulnerable, but she has not given up her hope of finding him. She loves him like no other, and would gladly die in his place.

Cross
A dear friend and a loving companion, Cross has been a constant support to Rina through the most difficult stage of her life. Although they seem, at first sight, to be complete opposites, the two share a deeper bond than most would suspect. His subsequent abandonment has scarred her more deeply than she would care for anyone to know, but she still longs for his return.

Aesolis
Solis is a new friend to Rina, but has proven his unquestionable sincerity to her in several situations. Although she has become more wary and mistrusting since the disappearance of her two closest friends, she feels she can trust Solis. The unspoken mutual respect between the two may yet blossom into a deeper friendship.

Those Carried Away by the Wind
[ d e c e a s e d companions ]

Desert
Apart from the heartbreaking departures of Ice and Cross, Rina probably misses Desert the most of them all. He seemed to understand her in a way no one else could, and he was someone who shared her inner pain. She admired his strength, his optimism, and especially his loyalty. His scarce words of wisdom are still carried close to Rina's heart, and she never intends to forget them.

Gypsy
Undoubtedly the best female friend Rina has ever had, Gypsy seemed to be the light in the dark for Rina at times- her bright and energetic spirit helped her overcome obstacles she would have never thought possible. The two had known each other since childhood, and their friendship only strengthened throughout the later years of their lives. Rina misses her dearly, and wishes her happiness in the next lifetime.

Lissielle
Lissi was more of a daughter to Rina than anything else. Their first meeting was rough- their attitudes clashed and sparked, but upon seeing her younger and more arrogant self in the young pup, Rina decided to take her under her wing. They were very close- no happiness could possibly be compared to when Lissielle called her 'mother' for the first time. While it is hard not to blame herself for the young pup's death, Rina has moved on in her life, but will still carry a piece of her daughter's soul in her wounded heart for the rest of her life.

R o m a n c e

Love. There is nothing in the world that Rina loathes more than this four letter, one-syllable word. Her experiences with it were, shall we say, unsuccessful. One walked out on her, one died in her embrace, and the other has disappeared without a trace. Not to mention that he already had a lover. No, Rina has no desire to fall in love again- she's not even ready to let go of the hope that Ice will return one day. Still, the heart and the mind are two different things, and one never knows what might happen.