A pink Cybunny hops up and waves, "hI!!1

The 'Bunny grins, "i'm RAndom, the cybunny arnt i teh k3wl3st? i a not a n00b like ervery1 sais i am." The pink, Picasso-like cubunny nods, beaming, "i am a n0rmal neopian!

Now, Random... Lets not Jump the case here. Let guest think for themselves.

Welcome, guest , to the "How not to be a n00b" Tutorial! If you are not sure what a n00b is, please observe Random, our resident captive n00b.

Who am I? I'm Narrator.

A small Khnum grins and nods his head to get your attention from Random to him on the floor, clutching a mug of Borovan.


Yes, yes, I'm a petpet... But Mindsend had to stick SOMEONE smart with Random, or else all of Neopia would be in trouble. The Khnum coughs before taking a sip of his cooling drink.

Anyway, the first thing you need to know are the differences between "Newbies" and "n00bs".

Newbie Vs. n00b


People often mistake the naive Newbie for a common Noob. They are innocent and unknowing of the way Neopian runs, having just started the world of Online Virtual Pets. Someone might actually convince them that they can get something for writing something in the chat rooms ten times, but don't mean anything by it.

Newbies are known for their desires to be friends with at least one person and to learn what Neopets is like so they can enjoy themselves without hurting others. They are also known for not really understanding the rules, but learn the ways of the land quickly, soon traveling Neopia and making Neopoints like a Pro.

Unfortunately, they draw scammers like Zebba to Meepit lamps, and many don't stay for more then a month, since they cannot do anything without getting attacked by scammers. But, those that survive the learning process become your every day Neopian.


Noobs -- spread like scarabugs and descend on a target in flurries. Laws don't matter, they will do anything to get rare items and pets. They beg, scam, hack, and generally annoy.

You can tell a noob often by how they type or what they talk about.

Noobs are "purposely and maliciously idiotic and annoying" as Mindsend puts it. However, sometimes there are n00bs that don't realize what they are, and can be taught how to behave and saved from Borovan's Deep Freeze.

This tutorial is for teaching you how not to be a n00b/noob, and how to avoid and deal with noobs that you may face in the wild worlds of Neopia.

Language of the Common n00b


Whether you hit the Caps lock or you like how capital letters look, THIS IS CONSIDERED YELLING AND IS VERY ANNOYING TO PEOPLE READING IT. Even if you mean good and you are praising the person you are talking to, chances are they will not read whatever it was you wrote.

One way of making sure you do not become the king or queen of the capital letter is to look back at what you wrote. Now, there are some medical reasons for why people would write in all Caps... And all of them involve bad eyesight, so I will not list them all... Well, ok, obsessive compulsive disorder might also be a reason, but that is very rare to develop into all caps writing.

5p3@k n|_||nnb3r 2

(Annoying n00b speak number two)

It takes forever to type, lots of concentration, and is a marvel of illogical logic.

And no one really wants to read it, either.

A lot of n00bs think "1337 5p3@k is really impressive... And it is, in a way. But it takes forever to read, and often gets deleted before even attempted to read.

In other words, its right up there with insults.

However, if you wish to understand such "1337 5p34k", here is the alphabet used here on Neopets.

Neopian 1337 5p33k

A= 4
B= |3
C= (
D= |) or 6
E= 3
F= |=
G= 6
H= |-|
I= 1
J= _|
K= k
L= |_ or 1
M= |/|
N= ||
O= 0
P= 9
Q= q
R= |2
S= 5
T= 7
U= |_|
V= v
W= |/|
X= s
Y= '/
Z= z

Annoying N00b Diction number three.

Insults from n00bs are often amazingly random. They can come completely out of the blue from someone you have never met before in your life, come from someone because you didn't respond to them in a .30 second period of time, or because you didn't want to be their neofriend/draw them a picture/give them your pet. Whatever the reason, it is usually a good way to get blocked from Neomailing you to getting frozen for harassment.

Instead of insulting someone, you should explain why they are upset in a calm tone. Lets have Random Pink give us an example, shall we?

This often makes the person that upset you listen to your side and explain why they did not do what you were asking for. This will usually end in better ways then insulting people.

Behaviors of the Common n00b

Annoying n00bish Behavior Number one

Way WAY too many people do this: ask someone they don't know and never talked to to be a neofriend. This neofriending is often for only a few reasons :

  • They need at least one Neofriend to send items, so they randomly picked you.
  • You have a rare item and they want it cheap and/or free
  • They saw you in the BC and they want you to draw them some artwork
  • You are famous and:
    They want to be able to say they are friends with you
    They want to get money/items/pictures from you
    There are more -- but the N00bian mind is too hard to figure out.

You see.. There is a slight problem with the "Random Neofriend Request" (RNR, not to be mistaken for Rest and Relaxation), is that it is sort of creepy -- a Complete stranger comes up to you and goes "Can you be my frieeeeend?". If this was the real world, you'd likely start screaming "MOOOOMMY!" cause this is unnerving.

The other thing to realize is that you don't need a list telling you who your friends are. And just because you are on a list doesn't mean you are a friend.

To truely make friends, try talking to the person you want to be friends with. Strike up a conversation, ask them about themselves and their pets, make sure that you read their pages, call their pets by their proper names, if they have a FAQ, read it. At some point, if you truly become friends, THEY will bring up the Neofriend list.

But then, at that point, it may not really be needed.

Annoying n00bish Behavior Number two

Yes... This is the ever so popular multilevel N00B Olympic Event:

The "ask a famous pet for a date/claim to be their gf or bf/pretend to be related to them" triathlon.

Sure, it has a lengthy title, but almost every n00b tries it once. Part one is when you take a pet that you like the design/name/story of, and randomly ask if your pets can date... Even if you give a big wind up, asking to for pets to date is wrong and against the rules.

Part two is when you take a pet you want your pet to be dating, and claim that they are dating your pet... Even though they are not. Its really quite sad...

And part three is when you like a character, but you want your character to be just like them. So, you decide to make them the little/twin/big brother or sister of the pet you like... Without asking the pets owner first and getting a yes.

The answer for this n00b problem is the same as the answer for Annoying n00bish Behavior Number three.

This is the VERY SCARY "Looking for a date" n00b. They pounce on any poor soul that has either a drawing of themselves or a photo of themselves on Neopets. And then, they will stalk this attractive user till they succumb and say they will internet date... Blocking is often not an option, since they will just keep making new accounts until they find someone easier to get or better looking. AVOID THESE N00BS AT ALL COST, THEY ARE HIGHLY DANGEROUS AND VERY VERY VERY VERY ANNOYING!

(See what I said about all Caps before? That was me shouting.)

The reason for NOT being a creepy fangrrl/fanboi stalker?

It is against the rules set by TheNeopetsTeam, the people who run Neopets for one! There is nothing that will get you frozen like trying to hook up with someone here on Neopets.

Another reason is for safety: That cute 19 year old boy could be a 14 year old geek. The cute little 13 year old? 55 year old bald man. The internet is not a place you want to go to find someone to date and maybe meet in the future. As much as I hate to admit it... Its a scary and gross world out there.

Instead of trying to get dates, try making friends that you chat with, but never plan to meet. But, there are a few rules to follow.

1)Write Correctly. Not many people really like reading Chat speak or horribly disfigured spelling.

2)Readable text. None of that loopy font, and no neon colors. The Eighties are dead for a reason, Rose...

3)Don't Push It. Not everyone likes talking to people and getting to know you. Or anyone for that matter. If they don't respond, after a "Are you going to respond to my Neomail? If not, I understand" message, don't push any further. Like Praedius, some people get cranky when you push them.

n00bish Behavior Number Four

Begging for items/trying to get someone to give something to you cheap/trying to trade worthless, unwanted items for lots of np, rare items, or artwork is a extremely common n00bish behavior. Artists and people that have rare items in their trades are often plagued by showers of dung and neomails from their new "Friends". Sometimes its asking for help buying the Labray. Sometimes its because they want that pretty Cybunny transmogrification potion in your trades. Maybe they want some of your art.

There is a difference between begging using cheap items as "Bribes" and a Donation shop/trade, however. Donation shops are shops with lots of cheap items for np ranging over 1001np. These are made for when people want to give a present of NP. Donation Trades are for when people want to donated Np and items to a person. It shows that you support the person/that its their birthday/they had a bad day and you wanted to cheer them up/its a holiday/you feel like being generous.

Now, you want some NP, but you don't know how to get rich quick without begging (which doesn't work). Well, there are a few ways to get Np for the items you want.

1)Play games: Lots and lots of games. Every little bit of np you get helps! You can make 10k a day after just an hour or two of playing games, so you can make lots and lots of money this way.

2)Daily Freebies: Forget buying your pets food! The Giant Jelly and the Giant Omelette can feed your pets pretty well. Tombola items? Donation shop items or items sold for small change.. Plus, you can also get codestones and faeries from the game, so all is good! Dubloons and cash from Coltzan's Shrine, and if your REALLY lucky, paint brushes from the Fruit Machine. Spin wheels. That sort of thing. Jelly World? Giant Jelly? What in Neopia are you talking about?

3)Restocking: You are in the big leagues now! This is how people get to carrying 100k around in the open as pocket change and get a fleet of Snowickles and Meepits to do their bidding. How does one restock? You have money in your hand, and hang out in the shops, starting with the food shop, then buy anything worth more then what the Official Neopets Run shops are asking for. What should you restock? Ask someone who knows, I'm just a Petpet!

4)Art Gallery: Draw Your pictures, Enter them, and hopefully you'll get in! Winning will get you 10k and a rare item, ranging from a codestone to (OMG, YAY!) A Snowickle. BUT DO NOT STEAL! Stealing artwork will get you frozen quickly.

If you want to do an art trade, look to see if they accept trades, then ask them nicely for one. Be sure to have a sample of your art ON SITE, or else they may not look at it.

Don't be insulted if they don't make an art trade with you, since Artists require inspiration, time, and effort to make pictures, and unfortunately can be lacking in all three. And remember, just because you drew them a picture of their character or gave them a lot of np or items does not mean they HAVE to make you something! Don't think you can bribe them: Commissions are against the rules, people, and most people are not willing to risk getting their account frozen!

Donation shops are for when people want to donate NP to friends or people they respect. They are often very cheap items, such as piles of Dung, being sold for 1001 through 99,999np. Often times, names are listed on the shop to the people that donate to show their support. BUT DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go to people ASKING them to donate to your shop - THAT is begging. Donation shops are for people to donate to on their own will. Telling people "I'm Saving for a Pink Cybunny, could you donate to my shop?" in a neomail, even if they are friends, is begging.

To advertise your donation shop, put links on your petpages, mention them in the signatures on the boards and so on. But never actually mention that you want donations to people. You can bring up "I've got only 50k till I reach the half way mark to me getting a _____!!", but never go "*Pokes siggy*" unless there is a Beauty Contest link or a link to our tutorial in it.

The worst n00bs ever: THIEVES

Narrator puts down his now empty mug of Borovan,Well, Random, What do you do if you really like someone's artwork? Lets say, Mindsend's?

Random grins stupidly, as if there was any other way for it to grin, "I s4y i dr4wd it r1ght?

Art Thieves

No! No! No! NEVER steal someone's artwork! Not only is it a freezable offence, but it will bring hoards of angry people to rain down on your neomail before you take a dive into Borovan's Deep Freeze!

Random blinks, "thn wat d0 3y3 d0 a80ut t3h art, i n3edf sumthin for meh p@ag3s...

What do you do for your pages? You leave the artwork up on the original artists pages and draw your own! If you don't draw, use "Makeables" to customize your pet's petpage (but never enter into the art gallery or Beauty Contest with it), just give the original artist credit.

Don't like your own artwork? Is that why you would even think of stealing a picture? Well then, how do you think artists like Mindsend, Albinoshadow, Fatal_mantis, Jupeboxgal, and basicly any other artist you find absolutely wonderful got as good as they are?

Lots. And Lots. And LOTS of practice. The more pictures you draw, the better you will get.

Virtupet Station was not built in a day -- look for tutorials both on Neopia and in the real world, talk to art teachers, look at nature, and Draw fast, loose, and as often as you can.

Even though you may not be as good as your idols and inspiration in your own eyes, eventually you will develop your own style, ideas, and maybe even fans!

Not only that, but you will gain a feeling of self worth and accomplishment -- you did the picture yourself, instead of stealing it. You also will gain the respect and love of others that would hate you if you were a thief. Isn't that MUCH better then being a Criminal-Popsicle?

Name and Design Thieves

You want a pet with a cool name and design, so hey, why not use the name of that artist you really like for your pet, then use one of their pets designs to make your pet look snazzy.

Well, that is wrong of you to do for it is COMPLETELY. ABSOLUTELY. UNDENIABLY. UNORIGINAL. (There I go shouting again)

If you like drawing that one pet, do not design your pet to look like them, but instead draw them fanart!

Rather then try to look like or be named after someone else, which is completely unoriginal, try to make your own design. Take Random for example -- The big, thick lines, scribbly coloring, buggy eyes, and big teeth. They may not be the best artistically drawn character ever, but Random happens to be highly original in their design.

ABOUT rAandoM and Narrator

Random Pink

Species: n00b
Color: Pink
Gender: It (Lab pet)
Favorite Quote: "hI!!!!11oneOMGZ
Likes:Famous pets, neopoints, rare items, dung, tombola items, shiny objects, rare pets, pounding pets because they can, throwing temper tantrums, hacking accounts, scamming, spamming, dating, begging, and being a royal pain in the neck to regular Neopian society. But, in all honestly, thinks they like being popular and loved. They act out using these methods to either be noticed or to lash out by/at a world they see as not paying attention to them.

Unfortunately, they hurt people in the process.
Dislikes: Being called out on their wrong doings, speaking normally, being frozen, not getting stuff for free, doing work of their own, and being a useful member of society.
Job: To teach us what not to do

Needs most at the moment: A brain and a desire of actually Learning something.

Narrator the Khnum

Species: Petpet
Color: Unpainted
Gender: Male
Quote: "BAD RANDOM! Don't do that!
Likes:Reading, borovan (The food and drink), sleeping, drawing, writing, doing HTML, Mindsend, Peace, Quiet, calm, rational people, Fanart, and the Color Green.
Dislikes: Idiots, Thieves, N00bs, Random, Lots of Noise, headaches, PINK *shudder*
Job: To teach and control Random and the n00b population.

Needs most at the moment:A good nights sleep and some Medication for achey heads...

Labray Status!

Narrator sighs loudlyRANDOM! CUT THAT OUT! DRAWING the labray pieces on will not make them turn you into what you want them t--


... Never mind then... Random's a Lab pet, so isn't any species or gender. It's always changing. But, Its design is of a Pink-sketch Cybunny, though it changes occasionally.

The coveted
I r knot a idjidot

You have won by simply reading this page! Good for you! You survived a face full of Noob!

Copy the code below and prove to all that you are not an Idjidot but instead a g3ni0s!

Well, Random, it's time to let the people go for now.

Random the cybunny makes an "Awww" sound, then smiles a little, "we11 if ppl wan ta c0m bck-

Random, remember what I said about thinking about how you sound?

The cybunny blinks, then clears their throat, "If people want to come back, we should give them a link, right?

Good job Random. Why not give them the link you made with your own artwork on it?



Good grief...

Counter started on 6-10-05.

Dedication and Credits

Cursor by Rose

I would like to dedicate this to anyone and everyone who had to deal with n00bs on a regular basis, and to the many people who helped me out with the tutorial: Arttimo, Jupeboxgal, dragonmaid86, Fatal_mantis, and all the fans and people to link to the tutorial.

Awards won For the Tutorial

Ask Narrator has been moved to Synthi's page, due to the large amount of Questions we receive about N00bs and Neopia.

Have a question for Narrator, or even for *shudder* Random? Drop in a note and it could be posted!

The Guild that Started it all

Useful pages

Shapeshifters_of_Neopia AnthroNeopetAlliance! Creating a more unique Neopets, one pet at a time

How to get a Krawk

(Those top two are also good for other commonly asked questions of Artists)


Novadar's Makeables
Anthro Makeables!
Akir's DYI Adoptables
Aqua's Makeables
Chutkat's Makeables
Itekhbet's Makeables
Khursed Makeables
Nomm_00's Makeables

Adoptable Headquarters

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You've clicked on a link that will take you outside of
Neopets.com. We do not control your destination's website,
so its rules, regulations, and Meepit defense systems will be
different! Are you sure you'd like to continue?

It is a journey
I must face...alone.
*dramatic music*
I want to stay on Neopets,
where the dangers of
Meepit invasion
are taken seriously.
Heads Up! You're about to leave Neopia!

You've clicked on a link that will take you outside of
Neopets.com. We do not control your destination's website,
so its rules, regulations, and Meepit defense systems will be
different! Are you sure you'd like to continue?

It is a journey
I must face...alone.
*dramatic music*
I want to stay on Neopets,
where the dangers of
Meepit invasion
are taken seriously.
Heads Up! You're about to leave Neopia!

You've clicked on a link that will take you outside of
Neopets.com. We do not control your destination's website,
so its rules, regulations, and Meepit defense systems will be
different! Are you sure you'd like to continue?

It is a journey
I must face...alone.
*dramatic music*
I want to stay on Neopets,
where the dangers of
Meepit invasion
are taken seriously.

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