Lorithenie got their homepage at Neopets.com

Welcome, guest, to ladera's guide on pretty much everything that has to do with Neopets! Don't worry, I'm continually adding things to this, so if I'm missing something, it will probably be up soon!

If you steal ANY of this, I will make your life not worth living -_-.

Firstly...
you need to know what a newbie is. There is quite a difference between "n00b" and newbie. A n00b can be someone of any age on neopets who is acting like an immature child. A newbie is a person who is fairly new to neopets and is seeking help or trying to find their way around the site. Now that we've got that cleared up, let's move on to chatting

When chatting on the boards, don't spam. This is one of those things that will earn you the title "n00b." If you notice, the only people that spam are those that do not have very good accounts and their topics are usually not very sensible. Do NOT be like this.

When making board titles, make sure you make them normal looking. A board title like this: "L1k3 Z0M6 1 L0v3 N30p375 70 7h3 3x7r3m3!" is not cool. It's hard to read, and it kills braincells trying to translate it. More importantly, it usually means your board is something no one will care about. Keep to the sensible text. No, you don't have to spell out every "you" or "are," but please, leave the 1337 language to the n00bs.

Don't make boards that are spam then you quickly relate them to neopets. For example, if you're on the Avatar chat board, and you make a board like "what did you do today?" Your whole first message is complete spam, yet you manage to slip in that last sentence that goes something like this: "Oh yeah, avatar chat. What's your favorite avvie!?" This is considered rather stupid and IS in fact spam. Don't do it.

If you need help, don't be afraid to ask. Just make sure that if your question is about a font or avatar, post it on the avatar chat board. If it's about anything else, post it on the help board.

Quest item help is not to be posted on the HELP BOARD. This is for the quest board.

The lingo:
People use weird language on the boards. If you don't know what something means, ask about it.

If you find an inappropraite board:
If you must, report it. Most of these boards will be posted by accounts created solely to disturb the chat boards. Do NOT post "reported." This is considered spam by the neopets team and helps keep the board at the top of the list. Boards that are not kept active move to the bottom of the list and eventually off the database. A mass of "reported" posts merely keeps it active and going.

One last thing. About those avatars. Don't make baords that say "I LUFF MY AVVIE!" and then have your avatar be a regular one such as "Aisha." People will call you a n00b, so watch out!

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Ahhh yes. I myself am not so good at avatar collecting, but I do know a thing or two about getting them.

Avatar collecting is a fun, time killing activity. People tend to judge people by their number of avatars, and I think it's pointless, but a lot of things in this world are pointless. Anyways, avatars are those fun little images underneath your username when you chat.

A few things to know:

Some avatars are much rarer than others. A common one is considered something like the grey faerie avatar. A rare one is like Zafara Double Agent. And a mega-rare is Super Attack Pea or Bony Grarrl Club.

Lending:
There are some nice people on neopets that will lend you very cool things for avatars. Here are some tips:
1) Don't beg
2) Don't make a board asing for an item... wait for the lenders to make boards offering them and joing in
3) Be patient. Wait and chat with the lender.
4) Don't use 1337 (50m37h1n6 l1k3 7h15 15 b4d)
5) If you don't get it, congratulate the person who did. Perhaps that lender might see that you're so supportive and lend you.
5) DON'T BEG (again). I cannot express the importance of this enough
6) Read the lender's rules
If being lent a pet, know the QAL (scroll down to pet adopting for QAL). Also, make sure that your account is old enough to adopt the pet! Have neopoints on hand and don't adopt from someone who asks for neopoints or items as collateral. This is against the rules! Know that you can only abandon a pet once a day, so make sure you haven't borrowed a pet earlier unless the lender knows this and is OK with it.
7) Don't beg.
8) Have something in collateral, even if it isn't much. If you want to be lent for free, don't post something like "*gulp* lend me for... *crosses fingers* free?" Simply ask them nicely if they would lend for free. If they won't, leave the board. Simple as that.
8) Don't beg.
9) Don't beg.
10) If asked to post reasons that you should be lent, try not to give a list of items you've been lent for free. I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but no one cares. If you have vouchers, simplys tate that you do and if they ask for them, give them the names.

Common avatar chat:
Collat: collateral
ZDAP: Zafara Double Agent Plushie: worth at LEAST 1.6 mil in collateral
ITTPD: I Taunt the Pant Devil: item: Clawed Shield: worth around 3.5 mil in collateral
FQD: Faerie Queen Doll: Worth around 1.6 mil in collateral
SUAP: Super Attack Pea: 400-600 mil
BGC: Bony Grarrl Club: 4.5 mil
MSPP: Malevolent Sentient Poogle Plushie TCG (sorry if i spelled that wrong... i rememeber it wrong all the time ^^): worth: 110 mil in collat
IQ: Island Quiggle: worth: usually another avatar pet, np/items in collateral are "illegal.

Heads up!
When borrowing a rare item, make sure you know how to get the avatar! Don't borrow the item and then spend forever looking up how to get the avvie... you could get reported for stealing something you didn't mean to steal!

Click here for credendo_videss avatar guide.

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When you see a board title that states a painted pet is up for adoption, there are a few do's and don'ts.
Don't: Enter the board with a post that goes something like this: "I will feed it and take care of it and buy it things to play with!!! OMG I TTLLY NEED IT
Usually, you won't get the pet this way.
Do: enter the board with something like this: "Hey I'd like to adopt that pet. Any requirements? Do I need an application?
This tells the person that they are talking to someone with a brain.

Don't: skip over the person's first post. It can contain valuable information that will increase the chances of you adopting that pet.
Do: pay attention to the person. Open up a new window and check out the pet that is up for adoption's page. Usually it contains valuable information. If the pet isn't there, just continue chatting to the person.

Don't: beg. It's horrible.
Do: be patient. And don't get upset if you don't get the pet. Congratulate the person that did and then leave. It will earn you respect, trust me.

Don't: be under four months old when adopting. You can't adopt painted pets (except for a few colors) if your account is not old enough! Sorry to break the news to you, though. Also, make sure you don't already have four pets!

Quick Adopt Link
Do: know the QAL. Don't know what this is? It's a link that you put in your address bar so that when the pet is put into the pound, you just press "go" and the pet is yours! Here's the link:
http://neopets.com/process_adopt.phtml?pet_name=PETNAMEHERE

Don't: have 0 np on hand. Pets cost money! Make sure you have at least 5,000 np on hand, just to be safe.

When abandoning a pet:
Make sure that your pet does not have a petpet attached (unless you want it to). Me, being me, recently abandoned a cloud xweetok. I was going to give it to my little sister, but when i abandoned it i remembered that her account was not old enough. Also, i had a glowing wuzle attached to it. And I even had this guide! I was truly being a n00b, but life goes on.

Are you able to adopt that pet?
Accounts under four months old are not able to adopt pets level three or up. Also, there are only a few colors that they are able to adopt. These colors include:
Brown
Checkered
Glowing
Invisible
Orange
Pink
Purple
Shadow
Silver
Skunk
Speckled
Split
White

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Trading:
The trading post is a very valuable tool. When you see an item you want, enter it on the shop wizard to find its price and make a REASONABLE offer. If you can't afford it, don't offer on it. It's that simple. Also, know that the maximum amount of np in trades is 800,000.

When setting up a trade, make sure that you know what to put in your wishlist. If you want items in exchange, make sure they are items of the same value as what you have. If it's np, know the exact amount that your items are worth and lower the price a bit.

Make sure that you don't put an item into your shop that is worth more than 99,000 np! Anything over 50,000 is good for trades, though still managable in your shop.

Selling:
If you find or purchase or have an item that you wish to sell, put it into your shop. No, your shop doesn't have to have a nifty layout or anything to sell items. When finding the price of an item, use the shop wizard. Type in the item name and once the list of prices shows up, press refresh a few times. Wait for the lowest price you can find and make your item priced lower than the price you just found.
-poke-

If your item is anything less than 10 np, i'd round it off to one or two np tops.
If your item is worth 10-100 np, make the price 5-10 np lower than normal.
If your item is worth 101-1000 np, make the price about 20 np less.
If your item with worth 1001-5000, make the price around 100 np less.
If your item is worth 5001-20000 np, make the price about 500-1000 np less.
If your item is worth anything more than 20000 np, make your price at LEAST 1000 np less.
The higher the price, the more you should take off. Don't go too low, though, or you won't make much profit!

From The Neopian Times Editorial Issue 323:
ETS=Easy to sell. They are looking for items that can easily be resold, like paint brushes, popular Battledome items, etc.
HTS=Hard to sell. If they say HTS are accepted, it means they will take more difficult to sell items such as certain rarity 99 items, morphing potions, some stamps, furniture and whatnot. Generally if you offer HTS items it's better to offer a bit more than the worth of the item you are bidding on as the prices for HTS waver more than ETS.
100k=100,000. Basically "K" stands for "thousand." So just add three zeros to the end of the number. Some people for example also say 2000k. This means two million.
Pure=Just Neopoints. Some players give a discount if you offer pure NP. If you see a lot that says 200k ETS/175k pure, it means they are willing to accept 200,000 worth of easy to sell items, or 175,000 NP for their lot. If the item is worth more than the max of 800,000 NP that you can offer through the Trading Post, please Neomail them to set up an auction for an agreed price.
Auto=Buy it now price. If you offer the amount they deem as auto then (most likely) they will accept your offer. Please note though that it's not guaranteed, as others may have bid higher than you have or they simply changed their minds.

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Ah yes, userlookups. There are quite a few things to know about these.

Some userlookups look better or are coded better than others. To change your lookup, click here. Type what you want in the big box towards the bottom of the page.

How to get all those cool things on your lookup:
Well, you'll need to know this thing called CSS. It's a type of coding that is quite different from HTML. You can find guides from internet searches.

Premade lookups:
So what is a premade lookup? Basically, it's a lookup that is already made for you! You can find these by searching the internet for neopets premade userlookups. Just browse around until you find one you like, then copy and paste the given code into the big box on the page I recently linked to.

Rating:
Just a heads up: unless you made your lookup (as in NOT premade) don't get your lookup rated. If your feelings are easily hurt, I'm afraid you'll be forced to go emo.

What's against the rules?
The covering of your stats (stats are what show your name, shop, neopets, etc) is strictly against the rules. Neopets even took the time and care to write out a spiffy little semi-paragraph:
Please remember that all your REAL stats must be visible. Hiding or covering them (and retyping the info yourself) is not allowed.

Putting up pictures of yourself is definitely not allowed. As neopets states, "Anything that can personally identify you is not allowed for your safety." Aren't they considerate? ^^

Don't replace the images of your pets with other pet images. For example, if you have a yellow Zafara, and figured out how to replace images (which i will most certianly NOT tell you how to do), then you replaced the image of the yellow zafara with that of a plushie poogle... err... it's not a good thing.

Directly from the Neopian Times Issue 230 Editorial

User Lookup:
You MUST have your real, official stats viewable. You cannot retype these yourself. They have to be the official, default stats that exist on every user lookup. (Your block of text info, your Neopets, your trophies, etc.) This is so that everyone visiting your lookup knows for sure that this is your true information.

You can cover your shield! It's quite nice to cover it with something that matches the theme of your lookup. And your join date is available in your text stats, so covering the shield does not hide how long you've been on the site. However, you CANNOT cover this shield with a different, official Neopian shield. If your current shield says "2 Years," you can't cover it with the 5 year shield.

You should have the standard yellow bar links so that they are clickable. They don't have to be on the bar itself, so you can retype them as text links or make your own navigation bar if you like. Whatever you wish as long as those links are on the page. :)

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Oh boy. Paint brushes. THere are a few things you should know:
1) PB = paint brush
2) If you find one on the ground, it's your choice to sell or not. I'd recommend pricing it about 10,000 np below what I've listed.
3) To paint your pet, go to the Rainbow Pool. It's that simple!
4) ALWAYS sell your PB on the trading post, unless it is a BASE COLOR.
5) Base color = the first four PBs listed. There's nothing special about them, though. A simple starter color!

Prices:
These are the general prices for paint brushes.

I didn't copy these prices from anyone else. This list was completed on December 07, 2006, using the Trading Post. Please, do not copy without permission. It took me a LONG time to do. No, I DID NOT STEAL THIS FROM siren_song.

Latest update: February 15, 2008

Green Paint Brush:
45,000

Yellow Paint Brush:
45,000

Red Paint Brush:
47,000

Christmas Paint Brush:
50,000

Blue Paint Brush:
55,000

Scritchy Sketchy Paint Brush:
60,000

Stone Paint Brush:
65,000
NOTE: This PB is not usable

Glass Paint Brush:
75,000
NOTE: This PB is not usable

Invisible Paint Brush:
95,000

Golden Paint Brush:
125,000

Silver Paint Brush:
130,000

Glowing Paint Brush:
135,000

Cloud Paint Brush:
145,000

Split Paint Brush:
145,000

Ghost Paint Brush:
150,000

Starry Paint Brush:
200,000

Purple Paint Brush:
210,000

Checkered Paint Brush:
210,000

Speckled Paint Brush:
210,000

Strawberry Fields Forever Paint Brush:
220,000

Electric Blue Paint Brush:
300,000

Rainbow Paint Brush:
300,000

Brown Paint Brush:
320,000

Biscuit Paint Brush:
350,000

Skunk Paint Brush:
350,000

White Paint Brush:
380,000

Disco Fever Paint Brush:
390,000

Striped Paint Brush:
390,000

Tyrannian Paint Brush:
440,000

Spotted Paint Brush:
450,000

Camouflage Paint Brush:
470,000

Shadow Paint Brush:
475,000

Orange Paint Brush:
550,000

Usuki Paint Brush:
550,000

Baby Paint Brush:
590,000

Halloween Paint Brush:
675,000

Snow Paint Brush:
700,000

Fire, Fire, Your Pants On Fire Paint Brush:
750,000

Lost Desert Paint Brush:
1,000,000

Darigan Paint Brush:
1,400,000

Royal Paint Brush:
1,750,000

Pink Paint Brush:
1,800,000

Faerie Paint Brush:
2,300,000

Grey Paint Brush:
3,000,000

Mystery Island Paint Brush:
3,500,000

Maraquan Paint Brush:
4,600,000

Plushie Paint Brush:
5,000,000

Pirate Paint Brush:
5,300,000

Lutari Paint Brush:
6,000,000
Thanks tiakko for sending in this update!

Zombie Paint Brush:
10,000,000

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The secret laboratory is a very special feature on neopets that can do some amazing things.

First off, you need to know what it can do:
1) Change the gender of your pet
2) Change the color of your pet
3) Change the species of your pet
4) Change the stats of your pet
5) Change nothing at all

All this sounds great doesn't it? There's always a catch, however. The lab is completely random. So, your beautiful maraquan aisha can turn into a fat skieth.

How to obtain the lab:
The lab is easy to obtain, but EXTREMELY expensive. You'll need to buy each and every one of the pieces (there are nine of them) to get to this:

(image collected by me, feel free to use)

Buying pieces:
Most of the lab pieces are around 65,000 np. However, some pieces are worth more than others! The AVERAGE PRICE of the lab map is 750,000 np! In my opinion, it's worth it!

So, what are some methods of buying these expensive items? Well, you can search for "secret laboratory map" using the shop wizard. The risk of this is buying multiple pieces of the same type, so make sure that when you're buying you don't already have the piece you're clicking on!

The second method is to use the trading post. This is a safer way, though it may take a while for your offer to be accepted. If you search for "secret laboratory map" and select "identical to my phrase" instead of "containing my phrase," you will find many lots that have the full lab map already assembled! What's more? There are usually discounts this way that will save you around 20,000 np.

I've got all the pieces... what do I do?
Well, now you go here (if you don't have the lab yet, don't bother clicking; it won't work). Proceed and select the pet you wish to zap. Once you've chosen and pressed the button, something like this will come up:

Some things you'll notice about this are:
1) Your stats can go either way, up OR down!
2) It's not guaranteed that something spectacular will happen

Great.
Yeah, I know. But the good thing is it can do awesome things to your pets! It can even paint it cool colors like jelly or robot that can't be obtained any other way!
NOTE: The lab ray can only be used ONCE A DAY!

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The first thing you need to know is that the petpet laboratory is only useable AFTER you have the main lab map completed.

The cool thing about the PPLM is that it's pretty darn cheap. Pieces are around 1000 np each, meaning that the entire thing (9 pieces) is only about 9,000 np.

Obtaining the map:
Same thing as the normal lab map, just type in "petpet laboratory map" instead.

I've got the pieces... now what
Go here and click on "petpet." If you don't see "petpet" that's because you don't have the laboratory map completed yet!

OK.
Mhm. Now, select the petpet you want to zap and push "zap the poor petpet!

What can the PPL do?
It can do a number of things.
1) Change the name of your petpet (ex. "McFritter shall now be known as Dirigibles. How nice.")
2) Change your petpet's level
3) Change your petpet completely (species AND color... my gray Polarchuck went to a glowing Wuzzle in one zap)
4) Change your petpet into a pile of soot:

The soot is not permanent! -poke poke- You can either keep zapping your petpet until it's changed OR you can unattach your petpet and it will return to its original form.

Things you GOTTA know:
1) The PPL is only usable ONCE A DAY.(confirmed)
2) The PPL can make your petpet disappear permanently (confirmed).
3) If your petpet has been zapped and you abandon the pet, your petpet will remain with the pet in the form that it has been zapped to (confirmed).
4) If you unattach a petpet, it will return to its original form! (confirmed)
5) If your petpet is zapped into a KRAWK, you will not be able to turn your pet into a krawk in the fungus caves. (confirmed)

Important:
You should only zap CHEAP petpets, or risk losing your expensive one FOREVER! MUA HA HA HA -cough-.

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The snowager can be found here or on Terror Mountain inside the Ice Caves. Normally, you'll get this message:
The Snowager is awake!!! You better run before it eats you!!!
(maybe you should come back when it is sleeping!)

However, there will be times when the snowager is NOT awake. Even when you visit it when it's sleeping, there's not guarantee that it will give you anything.

Some possible results:
1) You take an object from his treasure pile
2) Your active pet gets blasted and health damaged
3) The snowager moves slightly in its sleep, and you don't get anything
4) You and ALL your neopets get blasted (HP damage to every neopet)

Times:
6:00 a.m.- 7:00 a.m.
2:00 p.m.- 3:00 p.m.
10:00 p.m.-11:00 p.m.

NOTE: These are on NST (neopian standard time).

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What the heck is NST?!
You've been hearing it all over the site. You've also seen it on the little clock in your sidebar. Yeah, I'll tell you what it is.

NST = Neopian Standard Time

It runs along Pacific time, meaning that 4:00 PM NST would be like 7:00 PM on the Atlantic Coast.

ALL special times on neopets, including the snowager, run on NST or Pacific time! Don't get confused! Use the side bar!

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There are a few things on neopets that you should visit every day ^^. Some of them are at special times (such as the snowager). Others may yield some pretty cool results. Here are the events and their links:

1) Underwater Fishing: once your pet gets a higher fishing level, thsi may yield valuable results!
2)Tombola:Who knows... you may get something useful
3)Wheel of Excitement: spin for a chance to win 10,000 np!
4)Snowager: you never know! Click here for the times that the snowager is sleeping!
5)Giant Omelette: a little low on food?
6)Coltzan's Shrine: increase your pets skills or pick up a dubloon!
7)Fruit Machine: spin for a chance to win a PB!!!
8)Advent Calendar (only in December!): pick up some cool stuff!
9) Secret Lab: only if you have the lab map completed!
10)Petpet Lab: only if you have both labs completed!

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So, you've been seeing these really cool looking pets all around neopia. When you go to create one, though, you see that it's either limited edition or restricted." Well, there ARE certain ways to get these neopets. However, I MUST warn you that it is quite expensive!

Krawk
To get a Krawk pet, you'll need to attach a Krawk petpet to your pet.

This is what a Krawk looks like. You'll have to browse the trading post to find one.
Average cost: 9 million

I warned you that it would be expensive!

Guidelines:
1) Make sure you only have 3 NeoPets.
2) Attach a Krawk PetPet to one of your NeoPets.
3) Go to your Pet Status Page and Click On Krawk.
4) Once there, name it to your desired Krawk Neopet name.
5) Go to the Fungus Cave and eat the special fungus.

Interesting: If you have a faerie krawk petpet and attach it to your pet, i believe that your pet will turn into a faerie krawk. This is the same with all painted krawk petpets and it corresponds to what color your neopet will be! I'm not exactly sure about this, and would love to have it confirmed. If you have any proof or know for sure if this is true, please, send me a neomail ^^.

There is another way to get a krawk. You can go out and buy one of these:

Krawk Transmogrification Potion
Average Cost: 3.7 million

This method is a LOT cheaper than getting a krawk petpet.

Draik
They're just as expensive as a krawk, if not even more. To get a Draik pet, you'll need to buy a Draik egg:

Blue Draik Egg
Average price: 3.6 million

You can buy different colored eggs for different colored draiks. The red draik egg is quite rare, and costs around 20 mil (according to the one lot with a price tag). The yellow draik egg has no price listed as of December 09, 2007.

Once you have an egg, make sure that you have three pets MAXIMUM. Then take it to the Draik Nest and hatch it!

Yes, you can buy a trans for this pet too. It's not much of a money-saver, though.

Draik Transmogrification Potion
Average price: 3.2 million

While both these pets are expensive, they're well worth it, partially because they look cool, and partially because they get you some spiffy avatars!

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HELP! Every time I go to the rainbow fountain it says that it's not working!!! What do I do!?

Well, there's a reason for that. You aren't the only person in neopia who's fountain isn't working, so don't worry ;)

How do I get the fountain to work?
Well, you have to get a fountain faerie quest. These quests appear randomly and can ask for just about any item. The day that snow PBs came out... ah yes I remember it well. The fountain faerie had jsut given my friend a quest for a snow pb ON THE DAY OF ITS RELEASE! Sadly, she had to reject the quest. That should give you an idea of how random these quests are, and the large range of items that they can ask for.

What does the Rainbow Fountain do?
Basically, if you complete a fountain faerie quest, you gain access to the fountain. It allows you to paint ANY of your pets ANY color you want! Yes, that's right, ANY COLOR! FOR FREE!

Where is the rainbow fountain? Right here (in faerie land, of course!). !

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Sub faerie links:
1)Types of Faeries
2)Cancel a Quest
3)Complete a Quest

So you've gotten that message at the top of your screen that says
The Darkness Faerie wants you to get herRed Kiko Squeeze Toy!!

If your message was not given to you by the darkness faerie, but by another faerie, don't worry. Also, the items they ask for vary.

Facts about faerie quests:
1) When you are on a quest, you may NOT use the shop wizard.
2) There is no time limit on faerie quests.
3) If you do not want to do a quest, you ARE able to cancel it. No reward is given.

Types of Faeries:There are two types of faeries: uber and non uber. Uber faeries are just upgrades to the normal versions. These include darkness, light, water, earth, fire, and air.
Uber Faeries:

Water Faerie
Items wanted:
Books
Reward:
Raises defence

Light Faerie
Items wanted:
Collectible Cards
Reward:
Raises level

Earth Faerie
Items wanted:
Magic
Reward:
Feeds all pets and restores full HP to all pets

Air Faerie
Items wanted:
Grooming
Reward:
Increases speed

Darkness Faerie
Items wanted:
Toys
Reward:
Raises HP

Fire Faerie
Items wanted:
Clothes
Reward:
Raises strength

Non uber faeries:
Non uber faeries are MUCH rarer than other faeries. Their quests yield better rewards.

Space Faerie
Items wanted:
Random
Reward:
Raises level by 4

Rainbow Fountain Faerie
Click here for more information on the rainbow fountain faerie.
Items wanted:
Random
Reward:
Access to the Rainbow Fountain

Faerie Queen
Items wanted:
Random
Reward:
Raises a variety of stats

How to cancel a quest:
When you are on a quest, you may:
not be able to find the item
not be able to afford the item
be too lazy to complete the quest
need the shop wizard ASAP
Under any of the circumstances, or other ones i have not mentioned, a use may be obliged to cancel his or her faerie quest. To do so, visit the Faerie Quests page. You can reach this page by going to faerie land, faerie city, and finally faerie quests.

When you reach the faerie quests page, the picture of your faerie should appear with a message like
The Darkness Faerie saysI've been waiting all day! Please get my Red Kiko Squeeze Toy.
Below this message are two buttons:
I have the Red Kiko Squeeze Toy!
I dont want to do this quest
Using your common sense, i trust you'll know which one to choose to cancel the quest. If not, talk to your psychiatrist.

Completing a Quest:

There are many ways to complete a faerie quest. Some are easier than others.

Way One:
Recommended: no

On the yellow neopets sidebar, near the bottom, there is a search box labeled "Search Neopets." Copy and paste or type in the name of your item and search for it.

On the next page, a message should appear that goes something like this:
We have found 1 Neopian thing that matches your query! Remember, super-rare items will not appear as search results.

Below that will be a picture of your item. Click on it to get here:

Below that should be a picture that states "Find this item using the shop wizard!" As you should know, you can't use the shop wizard. Instead, click on "See if thsi item is in stock!" You will be taken to the shop at which the item normally appears. However, the item will NOT appear every 8 minutes. Even if it does, it really isn't worth waiting 8 minutes just so you can buy an overpriced toy.

Way Two:
Recommended: Yes

Ask a neofriend to search the shop wizard for you. Your neofriend will either:
1) not respond =(
2) give you the name of a shop owner who is selling the item for a cheap price
3) give you the item for free

NOTE: do not ASK your neofriend for the item. Begging is highly regarded as a (quote) n00by offence (unquote).

Way Three:
Recommended: HIGHLY

On your neopets sidebar, click on "boards." If your account is underage (you applied as under 13 years of age), you will not be able to use this option unless your parents have contacted neopets, which allows you to chat on the baords.

Scroll down to "quests." Click on this picture:

Or just click here. You'll instantly see a mass of topics that look something like this:

From here, there are two things you can do:
1) Click on a board that is similar to "free quest help" and put the name of your item. I'd reccommend posting on baords with very few posts; boards with over 20 posts have a decreased chance of you getting helped.
2) Make your own topic by click on "New Topic

Choice 1) Guidelines:
When your item has been posted, be patient. The person running the board may take a minute. If you have been waiting their for over two minutes, however, i'd suggest leaving and finding another board.
Once the board leader has responded, their message should include:
a) the item name
b) a list of neopets usernames
c) a list of prices

Usually the first neopets username is matched with the lowest price. If not, choose the username that DOES have the lowest price and copy and paste the name into your sidebar "search neopets.
Click on the search result (there will most likely be only 1, if not, click on the one titled "user"). On their userlookup, click on the link next toShop:." You may run into an immediate problem: the shop is WAY too big to find the item you're looking for. Unless you can find the item quickly, i'd recommend press CTRL + F. A search box will open. Type in or paste the name of your item. You will be transported to where the item is in the shop. All you have to do from there is click!

Choice 2) Guidelines:
Creating a baord is quite simple. Follow the model for best results:

Put the name of your item in the title; it should attract helpful neopians. Once you've created your board, you'll be transported back to the main boards page; click on the bolded baord title and it should be yours ^^.

I was given that response in about 30 seconds. Refresh the page often and eventually a resposne will show up.

If you're confused about the "2" before "240" in the first result, or the other spaced out numbers in the second and third, here's the solution: The "2" is how many of the items are in the shop. The "240" is how many neopoints the item is going to cost you.

Follow the search isntructions for Choice 1) Guidelines.

Now that you've gotten your item, it's time to complete the quest. Return to the quest page and click "I have the Red Kiko Squeeze Toy!

After all your hard work, it's finally over:

The Darkness Faerie says Wow, thanks, you found my Red Kiko Squeeze Toy!

The Darkness Faerie laughs evilly and Lorithenie has more hit points!

Click here to continue.

The link for "here" will always transport you back to the main neopets shops.

-Top-

The Brain Tree sits alone in the haunted woods... he is the only tree to have developed intelligence, and he thirsts for knowledge. If you accept his quest, he will ask you a question, your quest being to find the answer in a limited amount of time. It is said that the quests are very difficult... but worthwhile!

Is it always worth it? ABSOLUTELY NOT. However, once in a while you will get something good out of it. Or if you're bored and have neopoints to burn, go for it. I'd recommend having at least 20,000 neopoints that you don't mind losing... just in case.

To get to the brain tree, click on explore (neopets sidebar) and then on haunted woods. Finally, click on the brain tree.
To start a quest, click on "Accept the Quest.

You'll get a message like this (words will vary):
Michael Chia died a long time ago, and I need to know where, and when, for my records. You must go and find this information out. Return to me within 1 hours and 1 mins, and I shall give you a prize.

It's impossible to find the answer anywhere on neopets except from the Esophagor.

This disgusting blob:

Eerily states: "II AMMM HUNGGRRYYY..... feeed mmeee annndd I wwilll reeewwaardd yoouu....

Click on Sure I will find you food.

When it's NOT worth it:

Brain Ice Cream is either unbuyable or worth 99,999 neopoints. -_- I don't know about you, but I'm not THAT commited to a quest (unless it's fountain faerie x3)

The bad news: if you've got an item you don't want to buy, there's no way to cancel the esophagor quest. You'll have to wait for it to run out of time. Unfortunately, your brain tree quest will ALSO run out of time.

If you CAN complete the esophagor quest, do it fast by using the shop wizard to search for your items.

The first quest:
The word "first" should give you an indication that there is more than one quest you'll need to complete. The first esophagor quest, if you can or want to afford it, will provide the answer to WHEN the neopet/character died.

Second quest:
The second quest (and thankfully the FINAL quest) will tell you WHERE the neopet/character died. Provide both answers to the brain tree and you will receive:

1) An item ranging from 500 np to ...erm... well, WAY more than 500 np
2) Usually 1,000-2,000 np
3) MAY challenge your pet in the battledome

There's a catch:
Yeah, sadly, there's a catch. There is no way to find the answer to your quest without completing the Esophagor's quests. The answers are always random, so even if someone receives the same character as you, the answers will be different.

-Top-

If your pet is injured or sick, the healing springs are the best way to go. You can visit the healing springs once every half an hour.

Possible outcomes:
The water faerie will:
1) Heal all of your neopets three, seven, ten, or fifteen hitpoints.
2) Fully heal your active pet.
3) Restore your active pet's hitpoints and relieve it of hunger.
4) Give you Healing Potion I, II, IX, or X, Juicy Elixer, or even a Poison Snowball.

On September 20th of each year, Faerie Festival, the Water Faerie will fully heal each and every one of your neopets!

Help! My pet is sick and I don't know what to do!

If you have a sick pet, the cheapest, though not necessarily the fastest way, to heal it is to go to the healing springs.

Make sure that your sick pet is your active pet. If you get the "Fully heal your active pet" option, your active pet will be cured of ANY disease.

By clicking "see what is for sale" on the main healing springs page, you will be taken to the healing sprigns shop. This contains a variety of healing potions. However, each of these can be found for a much cheaper price using the shop wizard.

More comin soon (maybe...)

Thanks to the users that have helped me improve this guide so much:
malica77

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