{introduction}

[A hiss in the dark. Glowing red eyes. The rational part of your mind is feeling uneasy, when a mangy Darigan Aisha steps into view, her overgrown claws clicking on the wood floor. Who could be scared of a bony Aisha?]

Hello, dear. Why don't you take a seat and have some coffee?

[Despite her self-neglect, her voice is rich and hypnotizing. She leads you to a tall table with two orange armchairs of bad taste. She jumps onto the armchair, circles, paws at it, and sets herself down in the most haughty of ways. She must think she's a queen under all that matted fur and yellow teeth.]

My name is Asserre. Before you butcher it, call me Serr. You are here to learn about me, no?

[Serr grins and purrs, showing off jagged, yellow teeth.]

But of course, sweetheart. Let's start.

{story}

Everyone has a story if you dig deep enough. I do that all the time.

My parents were Faerie Aishas. Oh dear. Now, to understand, my father wasn't a 'true' Faerie Aisha- he had been painted very recently. If you want your offspring to have your painted color, you need to wait a while for the color to set into your DNA. My mother was rather demanding about having kittens. And if you don't know how Faerie Aishas work, the lady always wins.

So I was born a normal Red Aisha. This, for some reason, shocked the whole community we lived in. I don't know. They've got a very complex social structure that I'm trying to forget about.

But, of course, they gave me a second chance. Faeries and Faerie pets alike are noble and truthful beings.

Which really means they don't have fun. Whatsoever.

When I was a little Aisha kitten, I excelled in writing. However, I don't have that magical touch necessary for writing fiction. Eventually, I decided on journalism as a job.

And what kind of journalism do I write?

I'm a tabloid journalist. I've interviewed some of Neopia's most famous pets. Well, not too famous. But you know what I mean. Due to my complete lack of thumbs, I have to use a computer program that writes down what I speak into it.

My best article was an article on Balthazar. You know, the Lupe who cans Faeries and eats defenseless petpets. This is when Neopia found out about his eating habits. I certainly wasn't the first to report this.

But I was the first to write it from a fellow petpet eater's perspective. I've got a taste for fried Gulper. Mmm. It's delicious, you should try it sometime. I did write in a recipe for Angelpii, but the editor cut it out. I've only tried it once. Maybe it was a bad recipe. I don't know.

With the proceeds, I bought myself a Darigan Paint Brush, and got a little ring of red tattooed on my tail. Why? I didn't stop to ask myself.

My picture in the tabloid I work for is from when I was a Red Aisha. Again, the editor's choice.

{Annie}

Ah, Annie! She's my Skelly. An absolute sweetheart.

Which is odd, because I did eat her.

I was having fried Gulper along the farther edges of Kiko Lake. Me, a beach chair, and the finest fried Gulper I've ever had. Mmm.

I picked the bones clean, and set the bones down to decompose.

They got up.

I screamed like a little girl. The bones kept coming toward me, smiling all the while. And then the bones rubbed up against me. It was very cute. I realized that it was a Skelly, and took it home.

I named her Annie after a line in my favorite song. I had heard somewhere that a petpet can make someone being interviewed feel better. Annie doesn't do that. Most of them find her rather weird, and one of them is frightened of her. But she is really sweet.

{likes/dislikes}

The list necessary to every petpage!

Likes:

Dislikes:

{roommates}

{Machacco} I met him at a cafe, and ever since he's been kind of my older brother. He says I'm mangy and bony, but I know better. The Wocky can cook, and the best thing? He makes me fried Gulper. Now that's friendship.

{Cirrijan}The bungee-jumping, scarf-wearing young thing. Despite her good speech, Cirrijan's just a crazy young Yurble, threatening to take over Neopia with her friend, Zinnophyte. But she's friendly and nice, but not too friendly and nice, otherwise we'd have a problem.

{friends}

{Nilicon} A Shoyru to be painted Darigan as soon as possible. Nilicon's a little on the crazy side, and his almost-addiction to coffee does not help.

{Zersin} Sin's fun to have around. She's a ghost who's also on the crazier side of sanity. She's always been a little off, even when she was alive.

{done}

Yes, we've come to the end. How sad. Direct your little friends over to me, won't you?

{link in}

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