Neopia's Fill-in-the-blank News Source Circulation: 81,443,838 Issue: 151 | 30th day of Swimming, Y6
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Shop Rejects – Shops that Never Made It


by chocolateisamust

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ON A BENCH - I was walking around Neopia Central today, Neopoints packed securely in my Green Backpack, wondering what shop to purchase something from. The Food Shop? Nah, too average. Pharmacy? My pets weren't sick! So how about The Bank? Wait, never mind, you can't buy anything from there.

Sighing, I plopped down on a bench and fished out the Neopoint coins and bills I originally was going to buy things with. They'd all go to waste! If only there was some strange, but helpful, shops out there! Then it hit me!

Taking a piece of stray paper from the pathway and fishing out my Air Faerie Pen, I started scribbling down shops that should be created.


Ye Ol' Skarl Shoppe:
Can't get enough of Meridell's grumpy king? Well then, here's a shop for you! Come down to Ye Ol' Skarl Shoppe to purchase Skarl Action Figures, Skarl Pillows, Skarl T-shirts, Skarl Toilets, Skarl Cabinets and much more!

Gross Junk Store:
Here we sell anything that could be classified as gross - from Piles of Dung to anything made of snot! If it's nasty, unsightly and/or disturbing, we'll have it here!
DISCLAIMER: GJS (Gross Junk Store) cannot be held responsible for any hospital visits caused by our products.

Lost Desert Smoothie Tent:
It would be great for all those thirsty travelers - unfortunately, it's only a mirage! Prepare to be disappointed once you reach where you thought you saw it standing.

Useless Things Stand:
Where they sell things that are overall useless - cool, but useless! Oh wait, it already exists. **cough** Tiki Tack **cough**

Petpetpet Supplies:
For anybody with a spoiled pet and spoiled petpet, why not have a spoiled petpetpet? Get your Kadoatie's Mootix a teeny pinhead to bat around, or your Warf's Cootie a speck of carpet fuzz! Sadly, most of these toys are nearly microscopic, so therefore they're quite hard for the human, pet, or even petpet eyeball to spy. Be sure you're actually buying something from this store before you give the shopkeeper your Neopoints.

Un-Fine Furniture Store:
Well, since a Straw Couch is apparently 'fine' furniture, I'd like to see a store that sold Un-fine furniture. Well, actually, maybe I wouldn't like to see that…

Neopian Times Cavern:
All we have is lots of white Weewoos, and lucky green boots, and Chet Flash Plushies. Anybody seen in here with a melting Snowflake will definitely be kicked out.

Dr. Sloth Dictating Shop:
Need supplies so you can be a good dictator? Here at the Dr. Sloth Dictating Shop, we'll sell you those! Beware though, many customers come in normal, and come out brainwas - erm, happy.

Supreme Book Shop:
We sell very, very rare books that can get you millions! Unfortunately, we only stock a book a year. And when that does happen, there's only one copy. But hey - sticking around all year isn't a bad thing! I think…

Sponge Store:
Gee that's weird - it doesn't look like a pineapple to me! Anyway, we sell sponges and soap here!

The Lost Desert Paint Brush Stamp T-Shirt Collectable Card Shop:
Well, there's really no specific thing we sell but it sure is a spiffy name! That counts… right??

Kass/Meridell Shop:
We tried to do this shop description with numbers, Meridell with positive and Kass with negative... but they kept canceling each other out, so there are never any restocks! Sorry. (Or Kass positive/Meridell negative, if you are so inclined).

The Glue Superstore:
We tried to be authentic, and stuck glue to the floor and walls! We assume it worked - people come in, nobody comes out! How much better can a shop get? Oh yeah, we sell glue related products here.

The Shop Of Monotony:
A shop brought to you by the creators of the Wheel Of Monotony. It takes forever to load and restocks are once every day!

The Obviously-Right-Here Tower: A rival to the Hidden Tower, which always has the cheapest, weakest Battledome items stocked.

The Gift Shop:
Selling gift items that you can't even use! Hahaha, who would ever want to shop there! ...What do you mean "that exists?"

The Neopian Pawn Shop:
A rather seedy Neopian place of business in which you can both buy AND sell items. Even ones you 'borrow' from the shop next door! It's closed every three hours due to problems with the Chia Police, and it smells kind of funny, and the guy running it seems untrustworthy, but don't let that stop you from the best shopping experience EVER!

Yar, 'Tis A Weewoo Shoppe:
A really cool name, and Weewoos of every color are sold here! We also have cheese - who can resist cheese?

Edna The Witch's Tower Store:
If you get it from Spooky Foods or some other shop, you're not guaranteed that Edna makes it! So if you want that disgusting flare that only Edna can put into her cooking, come to the small wooden stand next to her tower! Disclaimer: Nobody is responsible if you or your pet(s) end up in a pie while visiting.

Game Supplies Shop:
Your loaf of Whack-A-Kass bread stale? Having trouble stocking Neggs for that Meerca in Meerca Chase? Well, here we sell you game supplies for all those fun games out there!

Discarded Things Market:
Well, by discarding your items, they don't really get thrown off the face of Neopia! Here we sell all items that pets and owners around Neopia have discarded! Oh yes, please bring nose plugs - the dung is really piling up.

Usukiland:
Everything and Anything for Usuki Dolls!!!

Phew! It was only a horrible dream... There's no such thing as - AAAAAAHH! The cuteness is unbearable!!!!

Cheap Stuff Shop:
Anything 40NP and below sold here!!! Unfortunately after releasing the pack rat avatar, it's almost always sold out.


After I had completed scribbling down on the piece of paper, Snowflake, the Neopian Times Editor, happened to walk by. Having a spur of the moment idea, I thrust the paper into her arms! She stared at my like I was insane, but nevertheless, walked away with my article! I also accidentally gave her 30k because I had placed three 10,000 Neopoint bills onto the paper, but oh well to that! Leaning back, I grinned to myself, hoping that the editor would find some type of spark in my article and publish it. Well, if you're reading this right now, I'm quite sure that that happened. Unless… **shifty eyes**

Anyhow, this is Chocolate, not live from a bench and… CUT!

**Lights Go Off and Everybody Screams**


Author's Note: Thanks to Ridergirl333, simsman24000, lemmykoopa300, ginger23456, Sockmonk, jerk_head, extreme_fj0rd, meowth4, holycow81, al_the_chia, precious_katuch14 and cherv1 for contributing spiffy ideas! Sorry if I missed anybody else who helped! Anywho, Neomail me if you'd like! I rarely bite!

 
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