A Proposal for Skalpo the Techo
We have all attended at least 5 concerts at the Tyrannian Concert Hall, who doesn’t love that screaming Chomby with the Fungus Balls (what exactly ARE they?) or attended the legendary Sticks N' Stones that had been reported to be “Tyrannia's hardest rockin' band, Sticks N' Stones have left a trail of bleeding eardrums throughout Tyrannia. “? But the claim that “it has been estimated that a major act such as Sticks N' Stones or M*YNCI is capable of drawing as many as forty thousand spectators” might be way off the mark, as I think every Neopian can attest to as we see time after time the concerts are NOT sold out within the hour or even that day.
I felt sad about this great institution, the Tyrannian Concert Hall, going on this downward slide and contacted my good friend and musical expert, Ms. P, a Purple Vandagyre who makes music and bands her Life’s ambition. I asked her to put some of her ideas into a proposal for Skalpo the Techo who is in charge of booking the bands that appear at the Concert Hall, as well selling the tickets for the show and seems to be our only link to getting some vital changes to be considered.
“This is so exciting” Ms. P gushes, “I don’t think anyone has ever approached Skalpo with suggestions or comments or even had a sit-down conversation with this most well-known Tyrannian citizen. Since I don’t speak Ugga Ugga I am hoping to reach out to Mr. Skalpo and the Powers that Be behind him to read this article with careful consideration because, to put it quite bluntly, that Concert Hall is way overdue for a Major Makeover!” She slides her Jewelled Sunglasses down her beak to let me know that she is firmly serious about this project.
“Now, if you just think about it, these Bands -all great and very well diversified, but about 20 years old? I wouldn’t opt for ditching them-though a Final Tour for one or two of their Bands would push sales through the roof, be talked up months before, and talked about long after they finished with rare, retired avatars and memorabilia that could pump some much-needed interest into this revered institution. Let’s face it, we need some NEW Bands, we have new lands like Moltara and Shenkuu, and we can’t find some aspiring K-Pop or Steampunk musicians to at least represent that Neopia is changing?! I wasn’t here 20 years ago, but I think maybe even running an audition for these new artists could also generate more interest and sales for this Concert Hall! Could you imagine a “Neopia Has Got Talent” and watching Neopians audition then having weekly voting until you get the best musicians and new groups with new sounds? If that doesn’t rock ol’ Skalpo socks off, we better check him for a pulse to make sure he’s still with us in the land of the living! That’s what I have to say!” To which I had to chuckle at the thought of Ms. P checking Skalpo for his pulse or Skalpo socks flying off his feet!
New bands, a world-wide Talent Search, didn’t I tell you that Ms. P is full of great ideas? “Oh I’m just getting started, Hun, “ she clucks at me as if she’s reading my mind,” that Concert Hall is due for a Makeover of a Lifetime, why we could have different prices for front row seats, second tier seats, and the economy “nose-bleed” seats but that’s not as important as giving fans what they really want.”
“What do you think fans really want, Ms. P?” I find the words just falling out of my mouth before I realize that she has a way of having you follow her lead without much effort.
“ Access, Hun. Fans want access to their favorite Rock Stars- so back stage packages & passes are an absolute MUST, besides also being profitable for Mr. Skalpo. Though Fyora only knows why the man never thought of THIS before.” She proclaims astonished that it wasn’t obvious to even me. “And there should be Avatars for going to your 100th concert of your favorite band like ‘The Ultimate Fan’ and a random avatar for Neopians that buy the Backstage Access Packages ‘Seeing Stars’ , I would expect that the Powers that Be would construct the exact wording of these but this would speak directly to the fans and let them know that they haven’t been forgotten.” She actually sounded a little forlorn at this point, as this must be in her heart about this project.
“Ms. P., do you want to send a direct message to Skalpo?” I ask her gently. “Oh yes, I would want him to know that I mean no disrespect in proposing these changes and he is well-respected for bringing culture, fun, and the love of music for countless Neopians world-wide. He should consider himself as having the opportunity to continue the Legend of the Concert Hall by taking some, I hope all and have more to say but have run out of time, of these suggestions to restore the glory of the past with the promise of a brave and new future.” She was positively beaming as she picked up her purple purse and got up to leave.
“ Don’t worry, Hun,” she called over her shoulder as she headed towards the door, “this may start the ball rolling in the right direction and we’ll probably talk again soon.” And with that, she swiftly left my room, but I look forward to talking to this devoted music-lover and very eccentric but endearing Neopian that would like to see positive changes for the Tyrannian Concert Hall even more than I believed possible. I really would love to see this happen and then I reached down to pick up a stray purple feather and felt that with Ms. P. in our corner, how could we lose?
I also hope we'll see more of Ms. P. and hear some more of her creative ideas!