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The Worst Gifts You Could Give

by ellaisback


     There are a lot of different ways you can express your gratitude to friends and family. You can tell them that you cherish them and care about them, you can take them on a fantastic vacation around the world, or you can shower them with gifts and presents! Gift giving is a tradition as old as time, and we now have so many holidays that really revolve around giving presents to those close to you. We've all read plenty of guides in the Neopian Times about the best gifts to give, about which Battledome weapons make the greatest presents, about all the cool wearables you can send to your friends with gift boxes, so on and so forth. But it is important to remember that not all gifts are great...I'm sure we've all been in the situation where we gave a friend a gift that we thought they'd love, but they kind of look at it with a half smile and give you a weak "Thanks..." in response. That is where I come in! I'm here to help you know which gifts you should ABSOLUTELY, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, give to those you care about. In fact, these are so bad I wouldn't even give them to my worst enemy!! Although, some as vile and evil as Dr. Sloth may be deserving of them...


Bottled Critters


     These are pretty disgusting. Ew. Ick. Yuck. It is a glass bottle filled with various creepy crawly critters found in the dirt around Neopia. They are slimy, oozy, and positively filthy. They crawl all around in the glass and will freak out the recipient every time they see it. On top of that, they need to be fed, so you are giving the person another daily chore to handle. And imagine if this fell over and shelf and the glass shatters and all those bugs ran everywhere in your home!? What a nightmare...

     Broken Spoon


     Why? Why would you ever give someone a BROKEN spoon? It is labeled as a Gift item though, so someone somewhere must've thought it would make an appropriate gift. It doesn't. This spoon is almost totally useless, except for...I was going to say scrap wood but there isn't even enough to make anything useful out of it. If you are going to gift this to someone then you better pass along some tape as well so they can attempt to repair. Better yet, just give them a spoon that isn't broken! This is a really thoughtless gift that will make them think you just rummaged through your drawer, or trash, and picked out the first thing you saw that you didn't want. No amount of gift wrap can hide how bad this present it.

     Buried Bone


     Imagine if someone you are friends with, maybe not your closest friend but someone you have seen around the Neoboards, comes to you with a gift box. Aww, how sweet of them, right? You smile with joy and open it, and then inside you see...a dirty bone that looks like it was just dug up. That is the epitome of creepy and weird. You would feel so concerned and confused and honestly a little scared. Who does that? Who gives a BONE as a gift? Some things should stay buried, and this bone is one of them. This is the quickest way to lose a friend and possibly find yourself in a lot of trouble.

     Fake Rotting Riches Scratchcard


     This is a terrible prank to pull on someone. A real Rotting Riches Scratchcard has the possibility of giving the scratcher a jackpot of Neopoints, or even better: a Moehog Skull worth hundreds of millions of Neopoints. But this? Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. You can't play with a fake scratch card. This is the type of gift that could end a friendship. They will be so excited and so eager to scratch it, hoping they are going to walk away with enough Neopoints that they could finally retire from the risky clutches of Food Club...but then suddenly it is revealed to be FAKE. This is a brutal thing to pull on someone you supposedly care about.

     Jhudoras Spell


     This gift could go either way...it could be a horrible, terrible gift that unleashes a curse on your friend and ruins their life forever. On the other hand, it could give your friend the power of the curse so they can use it on their enemies. The results are pretty unclear and I'm not sure if it is a risk worth taking. Plus, if you are notorious for giving bad gifts, who is to say that they won't use the curse on YOU? I, personally, am not one to mess with the strong magic of evil faeries and I don't recommend that you do it either.

     Orange Melted Candle


     Candles typically make great gifts. They are useful, they can give a great fragrance to any room, and they last a while. It is a super functional gift, and it is universally pleasing. Anyone would be happy to get one. But one that is already melted? Would you give someone your half eaten sandwich as a gift? No way, so why would you give this half-used candle as one? Go out and get a proper orange candle and try to resist the temptation to use it before you gift it!

     As you can see, not all gifts are good gifts, and some will make your friends more angry than happy. May I consider giving them a nice Beautiful Shenkuu Vase or Beautiful Decorative Negg instead. And use some common sense before giving a gift! There are other atrocious gifts that didn't make this list like a Packet Of Gravel or Blazingly Hot Soup (more painful than delicious). Don't give a gift that you wouldn't be happy to receive yourself, and don't use it before you hand it over! And some nice gift wrap goes a long way for sprucing up inexpensive gifts, your true friends won't mind how much you spend on their gifts as long as they are thoughtful and not complete garbage. So head out there and spread the love to everyone in your friend circle, give them some great gifts, and keep the trash where it belongs: the dump!

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