Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 195,313,618 Issue: 839 | 14th day of Gathering, Y20
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Dr. Frank Sloth's Daily Routine


by maryannyks

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     Everyone is surely wondering what Dr. Sloth is doing with all the time he is not trying to take over Neopia. Does he have any relevant hobbies? Does he perhaps play an instrument? Does he secretly dress up in disguise and walks among other Neopians? We got the chance to observe Dr. Frank Sloth in his natural habitat and found out a lot of things we didn't know about him. And maybe he isn't as evil as he'd like us to think.

     Dr. Frank Sloth's day starts in the morning around 6 am, when he wakes up and enjoys a freshly brewed mutant coffee. The more vile it is, the better. He likes to sip his coffee while looking out and admiring all the Grundos working really hard for him (because they want to!). He wears his Plumpy slippers (not made out of actual Plumpies) while he walks around what he calls his home. After morning mutant coffee, he walks around the Space Station, taking in all the beauty and looking over the hardworking Grundos. He gives out a few commands and makes sure that no Grundo is underappreciated. Praise is given to hardest workers.

     Next up comes lunch break, around 11-12 am. Dr. Frank Sloth likes to attend the cafeteria for this lunch break. He says he eats with the other workers, to make them feel he is just like them. He looks around and sits at what seems to be a random table with his Sloth Day Pasta (which he claims is his favorite). We later find out he sits at the same table every day, alone, nonetheless. He is very talkative and explains that he is very flattered by all the items dedicated to him and he probably has the largest collection of Dr. Sloth items, which he promises to show us later.

     After lunch he takes another stroll, talking with his very loyal employees (do they get paid?). They seem intimidated by him, but also happy that he has come to talk to them. After this, Dr. Frank Sloth leads us to his private corners and shows us his collection room. It looks more like a storage with multiple rooms and is probably the biggest building on Space Station. And all of it is filled with Dr. Sloth items. He even has multiples of some of the rarest items. We were only shown one room, out of many, which leaves us wondering what other kind of treasures does he hold?

     As soon as he ends the collection room tour, he shows us his banjo playing abilities. And he is relatively good. He says he likes to play some instruments sometimes and has had the eternity to practise. He also claims that music is his hobby and he likes to be very well versed in all of the instruments he owns. He also shows us that he has many other instruments tucked away in the "music" room. There are guitars, drums, clarinets, trumpets and even a harp. When asked about the harp, he only nods and says that there was a period where he liked soft, classical music. We are sure he has every instrument in Neopia, because he seems to be a massive collector.

     Speaking of his collections, he explains happily how much he likes all of the new Neopets themed items. He speaks excitedly about plushies and other collectables he has. He has even made his very own Vandagyre plushies. "They aren't many of those out, so I had to improvise and make a few on my own." He shows us hand-sewn Vandagyre plushies, which look tattered and there's stuffing coming out from one plushie's right side. "I am not the best in sewing, but I love these." He is obviously very proud of himself. He also mumbles something about some event that he tried to send the Vandagyre plushies to, but stops midway. "Anyway I only just recently got into sewing, so there's that. I'll have time to get better," he ends the subject.

     When asked about dressing up in disguise and walking among other Neopians in Neopia, Dr. Sloth's eyes widen and he looks us in shock. "Where have you heard this nonsense?!" he explaims loudly. "I would never!" and gazes out of his window, into space. "I would never dress up as Lord Kass or the ever friendly Bruno." We bring up the reports of him being seen in Neopia wearing different disguises. Dr. Frank gives us a sharp look and only says one word: "Nonsense." as he sighs and pets his Plumpy who has climbed onto his lap and has started to purr.

     The Plumpy intrigues us, and so we ask about where did the pet come from. He says that he likes how unimpressed Plumpies look and said he wanted one as soon as they came out. "I named him Neopia, so that when he does something he is not supposed to, I can curse at Neopia. He also likes to kick my items over the table, it's his favorite pastime." Dr. Sloth also said that having a Plumpy is very relaxing and they enjoy each other's company. "He also enjoys when I turn items into sludge. I see the satisfaction in his eyes. He is probably more evil than me," Dr. Frank Sloth says as he grins.

     And this concludes our very eventful and enlightening day with Dr. Frank Sloth. We got a gaze into his daily routine and he showed us some of his treasures. He never once showed how vile and evil he is, so we were left with doubts. No doubts about his Plumpy, Neopia, though. Could he even be evil? Perhaps he is just lonely and intimidating, not actually evil. Or was he just pretending to be nice for a day? Either way, we left him with his pet Plumpy who seemed to like him just enough, they seemed like a good match. Hopefully we won't hear about Dr. Frank Sloth trying to take over Neopia again anytime soon.

 
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