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The Top Thirteen “Punniest” Book Titles in Neopia

by binky1260


Do you have a Neopet who likes to read and have fun at the same time? My family of Neopets are all avid readers and dedicated fun seekers. And they are extremely fortunate to be in Neopia where their cravings for knowledge and fun are easily satisfied. Books abound in Neopia and can be found in fine bookstores such as Brightvale Books and Sutek’s Scrolls. You might even be lucky enough to stumble on one when visiting the Rubbish Dump or the Symol Hole. Over the years, my ‘pets have read volumes of volumes, and they have collected a library of their favorite books with the wittiest titles. So henceforth are the most appreciated and recommended titles that all Neopians should include on their reading lists.

1. Aisha Lovin It

This instructive book outlines what Aishas love most. It takes all the guesswork out of keeping your Aisha content and in the pink. For example, it is a fact that Aishas have an affinity for all things magical and are exceptional performing artists and magicians. So whether your Aisha enjoys magic as a performance art, or simply enjoys reading about it, you will find this book replete with gift suggestions for your sorcery-loving Aisha. There is a special section of optical illusions that will keep your Neopet entertained for hours. This title is a must read for all Aisha owners.

2. Moehog Than You Can Handle

This is the compelling tale of one extra large Moehog and the challenges he encounters to realize his dream of being a circus performer, specifically a trapeze artist. It would be a disservice to the reader to divulge how he came to be so plus-sized, but you are guaranteed to find this story riveting. It takes us through his heartbreaking journey from the realization of his dreams as a youngster to a shocking and dramatic conclusion. The horrific ending will have you on the edge of your seat and anxiously anticipating the sequel.

3. Chow, Baby!

This handy volume is a complete guide to all your Gelert’s dietary needs, from Asparagus to Zeenana. It has special sections for food allergies and low calorie diets for those Neopets who have difficulty putting down a fork. Delicious recipes complete with clear and appealing illustrations are included, as well as a complete supplement guide. In addition, the challenges presented by finicky eaters are meticulously addressed. Your Gelert will eat this book up.

4. Lettuce Love

If your Neopet balks at eating his greens, this is the tome for you. It provides a step-by-step guide to gradually introducing your ‘pet to the nutritious Neogarden of vegetables. You will have your ‘pet wolfing down (and loving) his lettuce in no time at all. For the truly resistant, there is a special section on “sweetening up” your Neopet’s diet. For example, a daily dose of Borovan is recommended as it provides the wholesome benefits of asparagus with the irresistible flavor of chocolate. This book is guaranteed to turn your Neopet into a health foods convert.

5. Roos to Live By

This unprecedented edition is a collaborative effort by some of the wisest Blumaroos in Neopia, including the games master Aristotle A. Avinroo and the venerable King Roo, ruler of Roo Island. This book is replete with excellent guidelines to live by such as “Leave not as leftovers that which you can eat today,” and “Never put a Flaming Burnumup in your eye.” It provides a refreshing perspective on the appropriate values one should practice day-to-day and it is written by authors you can trust.

6. The Presence of Presents

Everyone loves receiving presents. This useful guide provides tips on how to graciously give and receive those welcomed gifts. It includes helpful illustrations of the proper facial expressions that should accompany the unwrapping of those appreciated (and not so appreciated) gifts, including a step-by-step guide on how to achieve them. And as the book jacket advises, “Be sure to rewrap it after you read it.”

7. Bruce Bruise

This is the riveting tale of one Bruce’s unfortunate accident and how it changed his life forever. To preserve the suspense for the reader, suffice it to say that it involves a pitchfork. His grueling recovery is described in gruesome detail. This book is certainly not a light read, but it is one nail-biter of a story. The author recommends as a precautionary measure that you do not combine the act of eating with the reading of this book.

8. How its Dung

This quick read addresses the age-old question about the delicate subject of the origin of dung. Unfortunately, no answers are provided as it allows the reader to draw her own conclusions. Predictably, this treasure can only be obtained at the Rubbish Dump, as is the next selection.

9. Compost Dung Right

An invaluable reference, this book provides guidance for composing your compost. Rather than utilizing a hit-and-miss approach, this read advises a delicate and pain-staking method to achieving the perfect compost composition. Instructions and several easy-to-follow recipes are included.

10. Dual Duets Part Deux

This is the definitive volume on Aristotle A. Avinroo, a.k.a. AAA. It details his remarkable infancy and eventual ascent to become the greatest games master of all time. Intriguing comments by those who know him are included, as well as sagacious quotes by the master himself, such as “I am the greatest games master of all time.” Most notably, it deals with his troublesome lifelong admiration for himself.

11. Cotton Tales

Predictably, this book is a collection of short stories on the subject of one of Neopia’s most lovable Neopets, the Cybunny. The reader is regaled with heartwarming tales such as “The Cybunny Who Loved to Hop,” “The Sighing Cybunny,” and “The Flying Cybunny.” It is a wonderful accompaniment to any little one’s bedtime routine, and certain to become a nightly favorite.

12. Shocking Pranks

This illuminating book provides a comprehensive guide to combining the science of electricity with the art of pranks. Never before has such a detailed guide been available to the amateur trickster. Colorful illustrations show how to electrify your target without electrocuting results.

13. Negg-citing Tales

This is the definitive book about Neggs. Every Negg category is represented, from decoratively beautiful food Neggs to those that impart special abilities to your Neopet. It also contains a collection of fascinating stories that feature Neggs. One particularly intriguing tale relates the heartwrenching incident of a scholarly Grarrl who accidently ate a Staring Negg. He was rendered incomprehensible for weeks, and his owner was nearly bankrupted from going on an expensive book-purchasing shopping spree. This one is truly a negg-citing read.

The list presented here is a fractional representation of the witty and informative books that await the inquisitive mind. Books can lighten your spirits and enlighten your minds. So take some time to enjoy the bounty of books in Neopia. Happy reading!

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