The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke* Circulation: 193,598,075 Issue: 700 | 25th day of Gathering, Y17
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100 Reasons Why We Love Neopets: Celebrating NT700


by 0llyness

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We all play Neopets… but why? Everyone has their own interests and specialties, whether it be game trophies, restocking, writing, or much, much more. Curious about this question, Olly and Solo took to the boards and asked the general population. After weeks of study, the duo compiled the following list of answers on the back of her receipt from the squid supply store.

    1. All of the hilarious moments that occur, and the screenies that document them.

2. To keep in contact with old friends, and make new ones.

3. Plots to be challenged by and enjoyed.

4. To design wonderful characters with our pets.

5. Because here in this mystical realm lurk rainbow Uni.

6. Dr. Sloth programmed us this way.

7. Because going to a hardware store and buying a paint brush is just too easy.

8. Because restocking is the most entertaining thing since homework.

9. Some of the games are simply irreplaceable.

10. Because real life doesn’t have enough random events.

11. To beat everyone in the Battledome… except for that one pet.

12. To train our pets enough to finally beat that one pet, only to realize that there are others stronger.

13. To spam that little Beauty Contest link… everywhere.

14. To procrastinate working on things that are more important.

15. To create the perfect petpage application.

16. Because of those nice moments when we meet people who make Neopets worth playing.

17. The Great Purge was too much fun.

18. To look at pretty, pretty wearables.

19. Neopets can be accessed and played everywhere.

20. The hundreds of games are fun.

21. The Pound Chat is simply too entertaining.

22. To stalk for new trillionFTW auctions, hoping for some luck. That account will be back one day, we know it!

23. Key Quest is just too much fun. Thus, we have to stick around and wait for it to come back.

24. We love our pets too much to leave.

25. Because the Meepits brainwashed us.

26. Roleplaying makes it too fun to leave.

27. To have a little fun with a troll or two.

28. To become a billionaire; it’s much easier to do here than in real life.

29. To be able to show who we really are inside.

30. To become somebody else.

31. To expand our imaginations by expressing our creativity through character design.

32. For how great it feels to finally morph our pet.

33. Because Jazan’s Guyliner is just too gorgeous.

34. Because Pound Chat drama is too fun…. as is any board’s drama, really.

35. Because reaching our goals feels good.

36. ALL the memes!

37. To stalk, erm, follow that one person around the boards.

38. Because the voices told us to.

39. Because Beauty Contest trophies make the world go round.

40. To get that final avatar.

41. To learn how to code fancy petpages.

42. For the joys of being chosen to adopt a pet.

43. To have a reason to draw pretty art.

44. To anxiously await and hope for the return of Habitarium. It will come back, one day.

45. Because the number of trophies here can outnumber those in real life.

46. Because we get to be around people just like us.

47. For the 2,500 FREE Neopoints for signing up, duh!

48. Because here we can play mayonnaise as an instrument without ridicule.

49. To experience the joy of gifting.

50. To experience the joy of being gifted.

51. Because hoarding Neopoints is fun.

52. Because customizing pets is fun.

53. We have yet to reach our goals, and refuse to leave unless we do.

54. To find wonder in certain almost abandoned attics.

55. Moltara for the Cup! *

56. To spin the Wheel of Extravagance… until we have no Neopoints left to do so.

57. To prove that we can, indeed, zap a pet into draik or krawk in the Secret Laboratory.

58. To fan-girl (or boy) over Kanrik.

59. To feed the poor, starving staff of TNT via cookies in the editorial.

60. Because picking out petpets and petpetpets is a lot of fun.

61. To bow down before the Almighty Janitor.

62. Because windmills do, in fact, work that way.

63. To find new hiding spots for Jimmy James’s red stapler.

64. To figure out what the Double Rainbow Background means.

65. Some of us have far too much spare time.

66. Because we have been sucked into the twisted vortex of Bilge Dice and need to get the Lucky Streak avatar before even considering leaving… or else.

67. Just to see Mr. Coconut shout “GOOD NIGHT.”

68. To cover up evidence of the existence Jelly World OR ELSE. (What? Jelly World? Where? There is no such thing!)

69. Because making our accounts look sparkly is fun.

70. To hide from the Malevolent Sentient Poogle Plushies… as well as Malevolent Sentient Plushie Poogles.

71. To avenge all of the Neopoints lost at the Lever of Doom.

72. Because Murphy’s Law clearly states that the day after we leave is the day that the Meepit Overlord decides to give us three Jacko, two expensive Dr. Sloth, and one Fountain Faerie Quest random events.

73. To hog all of the pixels.

74. Because those avatars won’t get themselves… for the most part, that is.

75. Because we always dreamed of painting our animals and dressing them up in pretty things.

76. To achieve all of our dream pets.

77. Because we love our guild(s) too much to leave.

78. To open capsules… hundreds of capsules.

79. To learn what this thing called patience is.

80. To earn every single trophy in the game.

81. To show off our over-filled Galleries.

82. Because we have been playing for far too long to quit.

83. To meet new people, some of which will become our friends for life.

84. For the occasional moment that makes your day (or week).

85. …must… buy… more… NeoCash…

86. To cry about the Great Conversion just one more time.

87. To remember the Good Old Days while ranting about the current generation.

88. Because gambling is addicting, but here we can never go broke.

89. To save up for that one item.

90. To taunt the Pant Devil.

91. To enjoy the envious gazes of other Neopians.

92. For the freedom of choosing what goal you wish to accomplish.

93. Because there is something here for everybody.

94. To win the game.

95. To become an All-Star… year after year.

96. Because “ghoti” is actually pronounced “fish” (it simply blows our minds).

97. For the feeling of accomplishment after being published in the Neopian Times.

98. To be the first to the obelisk.

99. For the feeling of nostalgia.

100. We love it, ‘nuff said.

    * The writer(s) of this article share no affiliation with the Moltaran team for the Altador Cup, nor were they paid, bribed, or forced to endorse this team in any way, shape, size or form. They agreed to do so voluntarily while being dangled off of the side of Techo Mountain.

Happy 700th issue, Neopian Times! Here’s to 700 more.

 
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