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The Care and Keeping of Robot Neopets


by dearmoviegoers

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Do you own, or want to own, a Robot pet? If so, this article is for you. Robot pets are high maintenance, after all. One short-circuited wire and your pet is in for a very pricey visit to the robo-veterinarian. This quick guide to the care and keeping of Robot pets should help you avoid turning your pockets inside out to pay for repairs. Ready?

STEP ONE: Do not remove your pet’s casing.

Many Neopians are of the opinion that Robot pets look better without their protective casing. Others remove it to transfer it to a different pet or straight-up sell it. Whether your intentions are good or not, this is VERY dangerous to do. Remember earlier when I mentioned the dangers of a single short-circuit? Robots are built with casings specifically to prevent such malfunctions from occurring.

Removing casings can also allow dust into the inner workings of a Robot pet, or even worse, water.

Cruelest of all are those who remove the casings, then dump the poor and now defenseless pet in the Pound, where it has no owner to repair it after the lack of a casing causes it to break down. Don’t do that to your pet.

STEP TWO: Regular cleaning.

In the last step, I mentioned that dust can get into your pet when the casing is removed. As you may have already guessed, dust is the Robot’s mortal enemy. It can foul up all sorts to components, most notably the motherboard, better known as the ‘brain’ of a Robot pet.

The best solution, and the one least likely to fail, is to pay an expert to clean your pet monthly, but since I’m writing this to save owners money, I’d be remiss if I didn’t provide you with a thriftier option.

So, if you want to dust your pet yourself, you’ll need a toolbox and a big bag of cotton balls. Remove the casings from your pet and clean them (this is the rare exception to Step One), then set the clean casings aside and dust the wires, joints, and motherboard. It would probably be best to shut your pet down during this time, as dusting can be extremely ticklish to uncased robot pets. The power button should be at the base of the cranial unit (the head).

STEP THREE: Avoid water.

When I say cleaning your pet, I mean dusting it. Never, never, never, never, ever give your Robot a bath. It can probably stand some rain as long as it’s cased, but that doesn’t mean you can leave it outside during a storm. Definitely don’t submerge it (as bathing or swimming would require). Try to avoid water as much as possible- if your pet does get unavoidably wet, dry it thoroughly and do a full systems check to make sure nothing shorted out.

The best option, especially for cheaper owners is to stop it before it happens. Invest in an umbrella or poncho- it will be more than worth it when you don’t have to pay to replace any waterlogged components.

STEP FOUR: No Battledome for you!

This is where you roll your eyes, decide I’m being fully too cautious, and quit reading this article. Let me explain the title first, because I don’t mean that ALL Battledome battles are to be avoided, just very difficult or powerful challengers. Easier foes, like the Chia Clown, the Pant Devil, Donny, etc. should be fine. Just don’t go challenging, say, the Snowager. (The Snowager is to be avoided anyways, because its icy breath can freeze up your pet’s inner workings.)

The reasoning behind this is simply that Robot pets have quite a lot of delicate and expensive components keeping them running, and one solid hit from the Giant Hungry Malevolent Chomby can dislodge or destroy them, leaving you to foot the bill for a pricey replacement.

If you do insist on fighting tougher challengers, at the very least purchase your Neopet some hardcore defense magic.

STEP FIVE: Feed them.

Even though they don’t possess conventional digestive systems, Robot pets still need to be fueled up somehow, and the easiest way to do that is to just feed them like any other pet. Luckily, the fuel drive all Robots possess can extract vitamins and proteins from regular food and use it to fuel thought and movement.

Although they don’t require nutrition as much or as frequently as regular Neopets, neglecting to feed your Robot for too long can lead to permanent shutdown if you’re not careful. A feeding every two or three days should be sufficient to keep your Robot happy and healthy.

STEP SIX: Give them love.

Robot pets are more than just machines. They were programmed with a sentience center, which means they possess self-awareness, as well as the ability to think and feel. After everything I have listed here that is potentially dangerous to any Robot pet, the most harmful thing you can possibly do is to treat your pet like a machine.

Just like regular pets, Robots can get angry or sad when ignored or mistreated. Enough of such neglect, and the Robot can and will run away. Such simple activities as petting your pet, reading it books, training it, or giving it a petpet can ensure that it will remain loyal to you as long as you treat it nicely.

GETTING A ROBOT PET:

Let’s assume you don’t have a Robot pet, but you want one. You’ve read this whole guide, possibly multiple times for good measure, and you finally feel like you’re ready to get and care for a Robot pet of your very own. The only problem is, you’re not entirely sure how you get a Robot in the first place.

First, there is no Robot Paint Brush. It doesn’t exist and never has and probably never will. There are, however, a few ways to go about getting that special Robot without a paint brush.

The most common way is to zap a pet into Robot using the Lab Ray. Robot is generally viewed as a Lab Ray exclusive color, which means it can only be obtained using the ray. This isn’t completely true, but the lab is really your best bet.

Another way, probably out of reach, is using the One-Use Robotification Zappermajig. The Zappermajig was a prize from the now-closed Return of Doctor Sloth plot. Unless you earned a whole lot of points way back when, the lab ray is still the best choice for you.

Thanks for reading my guide to the care and keeping of Robot pets!

 
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