Addressing The White Weewoo Stereotypes
The White Weewoo has been the feathered mascot of the Neopian Times since the very first issue was published on January 25, 2000. Since then, the popularity of the White Weewoo has exploded, and nowadays you can even get an elusive avatar featuring the White Weewoo by participating in a very special 50th issue of the Times. Every single Neopian Times writer and fanatic knows about the White Weewoo and its importance to the Times. White Weewoos are depicted as seemingly innocent mail carriers, with a quill in beak and a post satchel around their body. Every item that has been inspired by the White Weewoo, including the Postal Weewoo Plushie and the Postal Weewoo Action Figure, makes White Weewoos seem like perfectly loyal little creatures that want to do nothing but bring good to all of Neopia… but is that really what they are, or have we tricked ourselves into believing those big, innocent eyes? The White Weewoo’s long standing affiliation with the Neopian Times has caused some untrue stereotypes, and I am here to address them today and set the record straight once and for all, at the risk of the Weewoo’s wrath.
1. All White Weewoos are Neopian Times fanatics.
This is simply not true. After all, a White Weewoo is just that – a petpet – and not every White Weewoo has the attention span or the interest in reading about all of the latest happenings in Neopia. The White Weewoo’s close affiliation with the Times has tricked many naïve pets into believing that their White Weewoo would read the Times with them, only to be surprised when that same Weewoo tears apart the newspaper instead. Don’t be surprised if every single White Weewoo you come across has no interest in reading the newspaper! Warn your pet that their Weewoo might not be a newspaper addict if that’s what they have been led to believe.
2. White Weewoos will deliver mail for you.
Another huge stereotype! Despite what the Postal Weewoo Plushie and the Postal Weewoo Action Figure might lead you to believe, most Weewoos aren’t trained to deliver mail – in fact, many of them can’t even fly for long distances without getting tired! It’s a wonder how this stereotype ever came to be in the first place. Don’t be surprised if you try out a whole new way to deliver your neomail to your closest neofriends, only to be disappointed when you put that newly bought satchel on your Weewoo. All most Weewoos will do is stare at you until you take it off. Nine times out of ten, you’ll end up with an angry Weewoo and a useless satchel.
3. White Weewoos are friendly.
Despite how happy the White Weewoo looks when it’s affiliated with the Neopian Times, this doesn’t mean every White Weewoo you come across is going to be approachable and friendly! If you meet a new White Weewoo, don’t immediately try to pick it up and pat it on the head. If you do, they might get defensive and bite, and a bite from a White Weewoo does hurt and might even require a trip to the Neopian Hospital. If you do come across a stray White Weewoo, don’t immediately approach it and assume that it’s friendly because the Neopian Times told you so! Treat a new White Weewoo as you would any other new pet or petpet, and introduce yourself to it slowly. Rumor has it they’ll warm up to you a lot faster if you present them with their favorite meal of choice: Wriggling Grub, but I’m not here to confirm or deny those statements.
4. White Weewoos aren’t smart.
Now, despite what I might have led you to believe with my previous statements, you should never insult a White Weewoo’s intelligence! Sure, the only sounds they make are “Wee” and “Woo” and they stare at you blankly with big dark eyes most of the time, but how are we to know what’s going on in those heads of theirs? They might be tiny, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t intelligent. In fact, they might be too intelligent. Instead of underestimating our feathered petpets that we tend to overlook most of the time, we should be looking at them a lot more closely, which leads me to addressing the next and final stereotype….
5. White Weewoos can’t possibly be evil!
It’s easy to be tricked by those big, adorable eyes and those white feathers, but Weewoos aren’t always as innocent as they seem. In fact, those big old innocent eyes could easily be a trick. After all, the longer they stare at your pet, the more your pet will beg you for them, and soon enough you have a Neohome full of White Weewoos. What could possibly be wrong with that, you might wonder. I know what you’re thinking: “but White Weewoos are so cute! They can’t possibly be evil, look at them!” But wait until dusk. When it gets dark, what do they do all night? They squawk. No, no. They don’t only squawk. They sing a haunting melody that will probably keep you and your pets up all night. As the description of the original Weewoo states: “Named after the haunting melody it makes. At dusk a chorus of Weee… Wooo… fills Krawk Island.”
Now, I won’t give into the conspiracy theories that say White Weewoos are working for Dr. Sloth in a plot to take over all of Neopia through the Neopian Times, but I won’t say they’re not at all evil either. Think about that haunting melody the next time you look into those big eyes, Neopia. Think about it. Would their melody really be so “haunting” if they weren’t the slightest bit evil? I don’t think so.
Author’s Disclaimer: The author of this article loves White Weewoos and means no harm to the Weewoo legacy by addressing these stereotypes, which may or may not be true. The author of this article is also not under the control of White Weewoos to write this disclaimer. Remember: White Weewoos are an important part of Neopian Times history and always will be… *squawk*