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The Top 5 Worst Pizzas


by emilyralphy

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Pizza is one of the most amazing foods available in Neopia. It contains multiple servings, always seems to be present at large parties, and comes with a wide range of toppings to choose from. However, do not be fooled by this massive selection of toppings; not all of them are mouthwateringly delicious. In fact, some of them are more prone to uniting Neopians in protest rather than bringing them together to celebrate this normally wonderful food. These are the pizzas you shouldn't even consider ordering.

5. Chocolate Fudge Pizza Block

Normally, I would never consider placing anything chocolate related on any kind of negative list, but this pizza just seems revolting to me. For starters, pizza is meant to be eaten as either lunch or dinner, not as a dessert. Even if this pizza does look like a good dessert at first glance, it is clear that it just doesn't fit this role well. It's so immensely huge that just looking at it makes me feel like I'm gaining weight. Dessert is supposed to be a nice little treat, not a giant hunk of guilt inducing sweetness. Speaking of giant hunks, this pizza is enormous! It looks like I'd need a sword just to cut it. Even if I did manage to divide this massive block, nobody would be happy with it. The chocolate is unevenly distributed, so this pizza would be much more likely to drive people apart than to bring them together.

4. Whole Steak and Egg Pizza

It's not every day you run into two meals combined into one. There's a reason for that: almost nobody can eat this much without having a huge stomach ache the next day. I wouldn't mind so much if these meals complemented each other somehow, but if anything this takes away from the pizza. This may be due to the fact that the steak makes both the eggs and the pizza itself look like they were meant for P3s. It the steak had been cut up into small chunks, this might have been a good meal for a late family. Instead, I get the feeling that the steak will slide off of the pizza at any moment, leaving behind just a few eggs on an otherwise plain cheese pizza.

3. Whole Frozen Corn Pizza

I'll never understand why anyone would want to have corn on a pizza. It doesn't seem disgusting by itself, but I just can't understand why it could ever be considered an appropriate pizza topping. This questionable topping choice didn't earn this pizza a spot on this list, being frozen did. Obviously, nobody would ever want to eat a frozen pizza. In order to make this pizza appetizing, some Neopians have tried to warm it up by microwaving it. This is a horrible mistake. The same heat that warms up the pizza until the cheese is nice and gooey also makes the corn become popcorn. By the time the microwave's work is done, the pizza is nothing but a crust with a cheesy blob of popcorn on top. Although I will admit that some Neopians might actually find cheese covered popcorn delicious, I firmly believe that the only things popcorn should be allowed to be coated in are butter, chocolate, and caramel, if anything at all. It feels like a crime to mix the most delicious of all snack foods with anything. Therefore, this pizza simply cannot be fixed.

2. Whole Sushi Pizza

You know this pizza can't be good when you notice that it comes with chopsticks. If the sushi is going to be picked off of the pizza anyway, what was the point of putting it on the pizza in the first place? No matter how careful you are about delicately removing the fishy topping, the outcome will never taste even remotely good. Cheese will come off of the pizza and stick to the sushi. Cheese and fish have never been known to taste good together and this is no exception. Also, although the sushi itself won't leave behind any pieces to contaminate the pizza if you are extra careful, a strong fishy taste will have nonetheless permeated the entire pizza throughout all of the cheese and all of the crust. If you aren't careful, specks of seaweed will be scattered throughout your pizza. Not only is seaweed unpleasant tasting to the average Neopian, but it has an infuriating tendency to work its way between your teeth, giving you multiple green spots in your formerly perfect smile. It's bad enough that this pizza will most likely ruin your appetite for days after you eat it, but it has a strong possibility of embarrassing you until you somehow floss all of its remnants out from between your teeth.

1. PIZZA OF DEATH

I get the feeling that either Dr. Sloth invented this himself or this was created for a Halloween party one year. Thankfully, the skull of this pizza is definitely fake; many Neopians have verified that it is in fact make of solid sugar, just like the beautifully decorated sugar skulls I have occasionally seen in shops. However, although this does make this pizza much less disturbing and scary, it doesn't make it taste any better. The sugary skull does absolutely nothing to make the pizza taste good. This pizza is often known to have large granules of sugar scattered throughout both the cheese of the pizza as well as the crust. Sugar is typically a pleasant addition; however, it actually makes this pizza absolutely revolting. You can barely sate anything but the sugar with every single bite you take. On top of that, the skull itself can't be eaten with the rest of the pizza. Its too large to fit in your mouth even by itself let alone accompanied by the rest of the pizza. Breaking apart the skull to have a sugary treat is an option, but it takes too much effort for it to be worth it. The sugar is extremely tightly packed, so it often takes Battledome weapons to break it into smaller chunks. With the pizza itself rendered disgusting and creepy by its topping and the topping itself being difficult to eat, this pizza is by far the worst ever.

Don't let this list discourage you from eating pizza in general. Although it would be wise to avoid these disgusting pizzas, the vast majority of pizzas as absolutely delicious ways to have some fun with your friends.

 
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