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A Smoothie and Some Nausea

by yoshifan272


"So... um... Faerieland. How is it?"

     "Oh... fine. Just..." Jhudora stared at Illusen's Tropical Fruit Smoothie and mustered, "Peachy."

     "Oh. Well." Illusen sipped her cold drink, staring down at the fragments of the sweet, frozen ambrosia. She kept her eyes locked on them, not looking up at the faerie that sat across the table. Inaudibly and without as much enthusiasm as one would hope for, she mustered, "That's nice," and sipped more of her smoothie afterwards, thinking that she made a fantastic effort carrying a conversation that appeared inevitably immobile to them both.

     The Café in the underground Art Centre was as quiet as always, with the bustle of Neopia Central slightly vibrating the area. The Yellow Chia was outside reciting a few poems as Neopians from all over remain gathered, entranced by his rhyming words. The Café was but a foot away from him, so his rhythmic voice added to the café's ambiance.

     The stone walls were barely lit by the hazy aura of dimming candles mounted over the rafters, which would surprisingly not be put out by the faintest breeze of a passer-by.

     It was especially quiet with the two faeries sitting across from each other, in this strange and extremely bizarre instance. They got bored of their scuffle, and hey, even THEY got tired of Neopians all over trying to collect items they barely needed for them, coming back fifteen minutes later with their fur ruffled, lungs collapsing, and eyes twitching while holding the indie classic,"How to Train Your Ixi to Tap-Dance." How tedious it was to say, "You stupid mortal! I wanted 'How to Train Your Ixi to WATER-BOARD!' You failed your mission! Come back tomorrow!" and wait twenty-four hours to have the same Neopian to come back to get them something else, only to mess up again somehow, someway.

     A day-off was nice.

     ...When it wasn't ridiculously awkward, anyway.

     ..Fine. Allow me to rephrase that.

     Their drinks were nice.

     "And Meridell." Jhudora huffed, taking in the fumes of her Noxious Nectar that SOME Neopian didn't get because they didn't receive from her, considering that they just couldn't tell the obvious difference between a Red Hairbrush and a blue one. "How's Meridell?"

     After a brief pause, Illusen nodded, saying, "Fine."


     And back to their drinks.

     More silence.

     How awkward.

     The Scorchio who served them their concoctions before fluttered over to their table, attempting to balance empty mugs and glasses from satisfied customers on the tray positioned on her right paw. She smiled gingerly at them, brushing down her ruffled and smudged apron with her free paw, trying to remain conscious of the grey cups that would be docked from her paycheck, should she have broken them.

     "May I get anything else for you..." she trailed off, glaring at Jhudora with some strange glint in her eyes; Illusen noticed, but the dark faerie stared downward.

     "U-Um, we're-" Illusen attempted to answer for the faerie, but Jhudora perked up and retorted at the Scorchio.

     "Yes." She handed the bottle back to the Scorchio with force. "Refill this. You have six minutes and twenty-two seconds. Tick-tock."

     The Scorchio pursed her lip, almost empty bottle in paw. "Yes, ma'am," she hummed, whirling around back to the counter. She appeared stiff, lips curled and brow furrowed. All Illusen could do was stare at her as she disappeared into the kitchen.

     "Hmm," Illusen thought allowed. "I wonder what her deal is."

     "I don't care." Jhudora sneered. "But I DO know she's already killed a minute. Pity for her tip..."

     "Jhudora!" Illusen huffed, crossing her arms. "Give her a rest! You're off-duty!"

     "I want my drink." Jhudora stared at the invisible watch on her lips and stamped her foot. "Oooh, four minutes left. Tick-tock, tick-tock..."

     "Jhudora, stop that!"

     "Stop what?"

     "Acting hysterical!"

     "I'm not being hysterical." Jhudora shrugged. "She's being slow."

     "Jhudora..." Illusen growled.

     "And chances are, she'll get it wrong like last time. I asked for WHITE Gnorbu's spit on top, not BLUE."

     "Give it a break, Jhudora! She'll come back out shortly, and there are other customers she has to serve besides you, you know! Just wait!"

     "Assertiveness to get what you want is part of Neopian nature, dear. Surely you know by now with all of the quests you give to these..." she gestured at the Neopians in the Café, huffing, "...Common folk."

     "But..." Illusen rubbed the side of her temple, wincing. "Do you not realize how rude you're sounding?"

     "Seventeen seconds left..."

     And with a slam of the table, Illusen roared, "JHUDORA!"


     The few people in the Café turned their heads back to see the two faeries sitting in the corner of the shop, at first blending in ever so slightly in the scene, now standing out like a rainbow Grarrl in a crowd of Grey Kacheeks. Illusen lost her temper; stop the presses.

     Even Jhudora's purple beads for eyes widened as Illusen covered her mouth. The last time she acted this way was when she told the same Blumaroo twelve times in a row to get her a fresh copy of "How to Train Your Ixi to Tap-Dance," and every day he came back with everything but. He even gave her a Mystery Island Paint Brush as compensation, even though, as a faerie, she had absolutely no use for it, to the Blumaroo's dismay as she flailed it around while screaming like a banshee. Thus, all in Meridell whirled around towards her glade... without making a single noise. She made all the noise for them.

     That Blumaroo now had bronze rings pierced through his ears, and that same Blumaroo dashed out of the Café, rubbing his tan, floppy ears, and shuddering at his memory. His coffee went cold without him.

     Illusen grew mortified as the Scorchio came back, bottle in hand. She squinted her eyes at Jhudora, who glared condescendingly at the Orange mortal. "Here you go, your majesty."

     "Hmph." Jhudora swirled the green liquid around. "Two seconds short. Shame."

     The Scorchio extended her paw out. Jhudora repeated, "Two. Seconds. Short."

     The Scorchio hung her jaw slightly open, as Jhudora sipped. She chugged down a few gulps, but her eyes opened in surprise. Her server noticed, but Illusen didn't; she was too busy not being seen by anyone.

     "Something the matter?"

     "Yes, Clarice."

     "It's Denise."

     "Clarice," Jhudora repeated to the server. "There's purple Meepit tears in this. I asked for yellow Meepit tears! What are you, deaf? Yellow! Purple! Can you tell the difference?"

     The Scorchio couldn't take it anymore from the ill-tempered Faerie, and thus, she promptly slapped the Noxious Nectar out of Jhudora's scrawny hand. The contents splashed over Jhudora's face and hair. Everyone stared quietly as expected.

     While the Scorchio had everyone's attention, she bellowed, "Well, maybe SOME people are just COLOR-BLIND and can't tell the difference between a Red Hairbrush and a blue one! Did you ever think of THAT?!"

     And she stormed off into the kitchen as Jhudora slowly turned her head towards Illusen, damp mouth agape. A few drops of poison and purple Meepit tears dripped from her strands of hair and the distinct, sharp point of her chin.

     "W-What... what..." she stuttered in the shock she had never experienced before. Illusen turned her head upward, muttering softly...



     "I just realized something..."


     "I ordered a Cheesecake an hour ago," Illusen stated, "and my server never came back."


     Meanwhile, in Shenkuu, a Draik donning an apron was having some trouble with the Shop Wizard at the Marketplace.

     "No! I just want a REGULAR Cheesecake!"

     "There are seventeen results for a Strawberry Cheesecake near you, at less than 100 Neopoints."


The End

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