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Putting the Band Back Together


by peirigill

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Admit it. You're tired of paying top NP for tickets to second-rate bands whose lyrics you can't even understand at the Tyrannian Concert Hall. Your Neopets have way more musical talent than most of those hacks. Isn't it time for them to form their very own garage band?

The Music

Your Neopets don't know how to play? No problem! Neopia's bookstores carry guides on how to perform most every kind of music imaginable.

Let's say you want a classic rock band: guitar, bass, and drums. Just pick up a copy of the Guitarists Guide, Bass Line Fun, and The Ultimate Drum Practice Book. More advanced percussion players will benefit from Drum Paradiddles and Modern Drum Methods. Your pets will be rocking and rolling the house in no time! Think stardom is for other Neopets? Flotsams in Rock, Gelert Rock and Roll, and Pretty Pink Yurbles will inspire your pets to reach for the stars.

Neopets with a more classical bent can seek out Koi Scales for piano lessons. Other helpful guides include Flute Playing for Beginners, How to Play the Viola, and Trumpet Lessons. Once your pets have mastered the rudiments of the traditional classical style, they can branch out into a cooler scene by reading Learn to Play Jazz and the legendary Jazzmosis Biography. Hand them some Cool Jazz Tunes, and they'll be swinging before you can say "Yehudi."

For pets who prefer a more homespun style, Songs For Your Pan Flute or Gypsy Music might be just the thing. And what could put you more in touch with ancient tribal rhythms than making your own drum with Drum Making for Drummers? For traditional music from every land, look no further than the classic ethnomusicological compilation, Neopian Music. Soon you'll be attracting faeries galore with your sublime Faerie Music Making from your Faerie Music Book. (Note: additional faerie quests not guaranteed.)

On the edgier side, your pets can explore electronica with Buzz Sheet Music and Robot Rock, although they may have to peruse Your Semiquaver and You or riffle through Musical Math in order to understand all of their nuances.

Is your Neopet gifted with a beautiful singing voice? Hone their craft with Learning to Sing Notes, and augment their repertoire with the Faerie Music Sing-Along, Fyora Spring Song Book, and those old but still essential songbooks, Draik Ditties and Shoyru Songs. Don't forget the large selection of Christmas carol repertoire, ranging from the traditional standards in the Neopian Carol Book and the Altadorian Holiday Songs Booklet to Bruce Carols, Christmas Wocky Carols, Cybunny Carols, and the haunting Kreludan Christmas Carols. We recommend the avant-garde artistry of Meepit Carols for only the most advanced (and bravest) carolers!

Finally, for those Neopets with more of a punk or acid rock bent, check out Howling for Fun, Roars and Grrs, and the indispensable Noise-Making Practice Manual. Try out your new acoustic abilities at the Altador Cup and show that piker Techo how to really make some noise!

The Instruments

Neopia is a land rich in instruments of all kinds, from electric to acoustic to plushie, from the subtle elegance of the music box to the unrelenting screech of the recently released Altador Cup vuvuzelas. Truly, no matter what your pet's personality, there is an instrument perfectly suited to her or his temperament.

By far, the most popular and varied instrument in Neopia is the guitar. From the old-school Gruundo Guitar to the über-mod Double Neck Guitar, from the folksy Feather Guitar to the eclectissimo Space Guitar, there is a special guitar to satisfy every taste and style. Neopians love their guitars. Don't be afraid to experiment!

For the traditionalist, virtually every instrument of the modern orchestra is available, from violins, violas, and cellos to piccolos, flutes, clarinets, oboes, and bassoons; from trumpets, trombones, and French horns to timpani, brass cymbals, and vibraphones, just to name a few.

Regional styles of all types abound. Got a gig in the Haunted Woods? Add some local color with a Gloomy Harpsichord, Haunted Mandolin, Haunted Drums, Haunted Woods Violin, Haunted Woods Horn, Sklyde Xylophone, or maybe even that rarest of spooky instruments, the Spirited Fiddle. (Or just sing a couple of those Meepit Carols – those give even Edna the willies!)

Playing a medieval or Renaissance set in Meridell or Brightvale? Pull out the old Fife, Recorder (regular or Split), Lyre (regular or Tarla), and Lute (Pear or Delightful Heart), and jam with lots of minor chords.

The Darigans have their own traditional instruments, like the Darigan Guitar, Drums, and Triangle, but they've heard those to death. Secretly, they're dying to hear some folk tunes on the Harmonica and Concertina. Buck the trend and you'll be rewarded!

For Moltarans, go for a steampunk feel with an Industrial Steel Violin, Steel Guitar, or maybe the enigmatic Stroh Violin. Of course, you can't go wrong with the Steam Horn, a local favorite, the elusive Elegant Punk Guitar, or the complex Glass Organ. Given the choice, always pick electric over acoustic.

In Faerieland, start with the Harp, perhaps paired with a folk instrument like the Ocarina, Zither, or Hammer Dulcimer. The Uni Harp is particular crowd-pleaser. Just make sure never to play Illusens Harp and Jhudoras Harp at the same time! They just won't stay in tune with one another. There is always the traditional consort of Light Faerie Harp, Air Faerie Guitar, Faerie Saxophone, and Earth Faerie Recorder, but be advised the faeries will hold you to a higher standard of performance on these.

In the exotic lands of Sakhmet and Qasala in the Lost Desert, keep your ears open for the strains of Sitars, Bouzoukis, Pyramid Tambourines, and Selket Castanets, punctuated by the stirring ancient rhythms of the traditional Lost Desert Drum.

Landed a posh gig at Kelp? Because sound travels differently underwater, you'll want to stick to the instruments designed especially for Maraquans: the Coral Flute and Coral Recorder, the Shell Violin, and the Maraquan Guitar, Xylophone, and Tambourine. Do NOT bring your electric amplifiers!

On Terror Mountain, embrace the cold with one of the many Snow or Ice instruments, or warm their hearts with a consort of Fire instruments. The Candy Cane Harp is always popular in Happy Valley.

Tyrannians are somewhat spoiled for music, because of the steady flow of performers at the Concert Hall. Nonetheless, the Rock Guitar and Stone Trumpet never fail to please. Nor, in fact, does a rock pounded rhythmically on any nearby slab. For your encore, brush off your Spike Fiddle, but don't accidentally impale any nearby Grarrls.

Shenkuuvians are hard to impress, but show them your skills on the Origami Drum, Origami Accordion, Origami Guitar, Origami Trumpet, and Natural Wooden Pipe, and you'll win them over for your second set of Banjo and Bagpipe music.

Altadorians love highbrow, bombastic music. Stick to the Bugle, Organ, Hand Bell, and the Starry consort of instruments: the Starry Trumpet, Starry Cello, and Starry Uni Guitar.

King Roo prefers happy, upbeat instruments that he can play along with. The consort of Rainbow instruments will serve you well: the Rainbow Guitar, Xylophone, Accordion, Pan Flute, Tambourine, and (most important of all) Maracas. Pass out plenty of colorful Kazoos and keep His Royalness happy.

Traditional Mystery Island music relies on home-grown instruments: literally, instruments you can grow. The Peanut Guitar, Autumn Pumpkin Drum, Rainstick, Peanut Shaker, and Shaking Gourd can all be easily implemented in your sets to create a crowd-pleasing Island fusion. The Cocoa consort of Cocoa Violin, Trumpet, Ukulele, and Conga will be a hit with the Coco natives, but to take it all the way to eleven, bring out the big guns: a pair of Half Coconut Shells. Bring extra security to protect you from the hordes of adoring, headhunting fans.

The other venues are more problematic. Krawk Island gigs... honestly, just a guitar and a sea shanty will be fine. As long as they're drowning their sorrows in fruit grog, they won't be listening to you, and once their dubloons for grog run out, they'll just start brawling anyway. Sloth generally disapproves of music, as it might lead to frivolity, so the Virtupets Space Station is normally filled with muzak renditions of binary code, with The Sounds of Vacuum album played on special occasions. Kreludor has a rich musical tradition, but for some reason the Orange Grundos can't resist pointing out that "in space no one can hear you sing." It's funny the first ten times you hear it. Lutari Island is an amazing venue, with some of the best audiences on Neopia, but for the moment Lutari Island remains inaccessible, buffeted by that unending squall that makes Maraqua's whirlpool look like a summer shower.

This list is only the prelude to all the different types of instruments available for your pets' garage band. Many other fascinating instruments and noisemakers exist, and new ones appear all the time. As a final curiosity, consider the strange phenomenon of the Jelly instruments, most of which are designed to be struck: the Jelly Tambourine, Xylophone, Triangle, and the delicious Grape Jelly Bongos. I can't imagine who would play these, or where, but it just goes to show you that in Neopia, there's a musical instrument for everybody.

 
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