Misadventures of a Neopian Times Reporter V
Big Babies and the Baby Maker
I had to do an article and I had to do it now. The paper had run out of my backlogged articles. It was Monday and I needed to have it to them by Thursday. They also wanted me to draw a comic for the funny paper. I sat around and wondered what would happen if I didn't do one just to show Meepie and Buzz Johnson. What it would show them, I have no clue, but I wanted to anyway.
I could almost hear my Meepit Overlord's voice saying, 'You have such long hair, Kristy. How would you feel if I plucked out all your hair, one by one? I'd enjoy it, but you wouldn't. Don't try my patience, Kristykimmy, I have none."
Buzz would simply toss me out his office window and then shout down at me to have it to him by tomorrow.
Somehow, having a steady job as a journalist with a decent paper didn't make up for being a minion. I would never admit it because that Faerie Cybunny of mine would give me her 'I told you so' face for a month. At least he hadn't made me spy on the Feepits yet. I was so not looking forward to that part of my job.
I sat there and doodled a comic about Meepits doing mean things to people, something I knew Meepie would roll his eyes at and tell me that he expected something like that out of me. I inked it and set it aside for later. I leaned back in my seat and thought about my article.
Buzz had informed me that he wanted me to interview a famous Neopian. I had backed away from doing that after my brush with Taelia, the Jhudora thing being the only exception. I had been doing informative articles about Neohome trends and fashion and Kiko Lake festivals. If I was going to interview someone, I would want it to be as unlikely to end in trauma as possible. But, then who could I interview?
Suddenly my baby Acara came toddling into my room. I was obviously very surprised to see her since she was playing in the ground floor playroom last I knew. We kept the baby away from stairs for an obvious reason.
"Inna!" I cried. "How did you get up here?"
"Want Mama!" Inna declared as she held her arms up to me.
I picked her up and Elise came in after her, apologizing, "I took her with me when I went up to my room to get something, and when I turned around for a second she was gone. You're a naughty baby, Inna. You know better than to go up the stairs."
"Want Mama!" Inna stated.
I cuddled her close and cooed, "Mommy loves her baby. Mommy loves it when baby wants to be with mommy."
"Seriously, Kristy, I can't move for all the sap," Elise teased.
"Bunny is jealous that baby loves mommy so," I told Inna.
"Wuv Ewise too!" Inna replied.
"Aw, now I'm really stuck." Elise laughed. "I love you too, Inna."
"So, baby, mommy has a problem. Mommy needs to interview someone for her job. Does baby have any ideas?" I asked Inna playfully.
Inna leaned over onto my desk and pointed. Last week's paper was lying on my desk and there was a comic about Boochi. Inna was pointing to Boochi. I hugged her tight and cried, "Inna, you're a genius!"
I jumped up and hurried downstairs with Elise in tow, who was probably wondering what I was so excited about. I raced into the library where my other pets were seated, with the exception of Anita who was sailing along the coast of Altador.
"Hey guys, I've got to interview a famous Neopian! Who wants to come along?" I called out.
They all looked interested.
Elise took Inna from me and said, "Count me out. No way am I going near anyone famous with you and your notebook. That is a recipe for disaster. Anyway, someone needs to babysit Inna. Chloe has to go with you and Anita is away, so I guess that is me. Who is your famous Neopian?"
"Boochi!" I replied.
Three faces shot me dirty looks and Yanli, Bluejay, and Princess got up and ran out of the house.
"What was that all about?" I asked.
Chloe, currently a fire Moehog, just shook her head and laughed.
"I think they thought you were trying to set them up," Elise explained.
"What! Why would they think that? Their paint brushes cost me a lot when I got them, and they've skyrocketed since. I don't need another baby around the house. Inna is the baby, and she wouldn't take it well if one of them became a baby!" I cried.
Elise just shrugged and Chloe grabbed our coats and boots and tossed them in a bag in case we needed them. I kissed Inna goodbye and promised Elise that we would be back by Wednesday afternoon. That way I still had a day to come up with a backup plan in case I failed to find him.
We walked through the marketplace in Neopia Central, but couldn't find any sign of him. We had stopped about ten yards from the Money Tree to discuss other places to look when we noticed a crowd heading towards us.
"I wonder what is going on," I commented. "Maybe the Money Tree is giving away Nerkmids or something? Well, that's neither here nor there, where do you think we should go?"
"Let's go to Mystery Island, Kristy," Chloe said.
"Okay, that sounds like a good idea," I started, then I noticed that the crowd passed the Money Tree and was making straight for us.
"Chloe, I think we should run," I stated calmly.
She turned to look at the crowd and replied, "Oh, yes, I think that is an awesome idea."
We took off running down to the harbor, the crowd that was now officially a crazed mob hot on our heels. There was a ferry just starting to leave. It was still close enough to jump for it, catch the railing, and pull ourselves on board. I threw the necessary fare down to the stunned looking attendant and we ran to get out of sight.
After we were out of sight of the harbor we came out of our hiding place and leaned on the rails.
"What do you suppose that was all about?" I asked.
"I don't even want to think about it," Chloe replied.
"Last time I saw a mob like that was in Meridell. They were fangirls and they were chasing some poor Lupe tourist that they mistook for Sir Jeran. Lisha got such a kick out of that story when I told her. Apparently that is a constant problem for him," I recalled.
"Ugh, fangirls. You know, for all your craziness, at least you can control yourself around your heroes," Chloe commented.
"I'll assume that was a compliment and leave it at that."
We got to Mystery Island and started looking around the area for any sign of Boochi. No one had seen him recently there and so we decided to give up. We had gone to see the Island Mystic since I figured people would probably come to him if they had seen him to ask if they should be worried. We walked out of his hut and I could see that we only had a few hours of daylight left.
"Let's go to Meridell. If we don't see him there, we can give up for the day and spent the night at our home there," I said.
Chloe didn't answer and I turned to look at her. She was staring off to the right. I looked and I could see a mob bearing down on us.
"Again?" I whimpered.
"I think Meridell is a lovely idea. Let's go get on the boat," Chloe said as we started to run.
There was no mistaking it this time, they were after us. I was thinking of every possible reason for why two mobs would attack us when I was certain I heard my Christmas Zafara's laugh rise above the noise of the crowd. I couldn't turn to look, though.
We managed to get far enough ahead that they didn't see us get on the ferry this time, and again, we sat hidden from view until the ferry was well on its way to Meridell.
"I could have sworn I heard Yanli laughing in that mob," I said.
"No way, what would they be doing here and in the mob?" Chloe asked.
"I don't know, but I do know her laugh and I am almost sure of it," I replied.
We got to Meridell right around sunset. We asked around about Boochi, but no one had seen him recently either. I wasn't really worried about a mob here. Most of these people were my friends and I certainly couldn't be mistaken for a tall blue Lupe. We gave up and went to our Meridellian home, made dinner, and went straight to bed.
The next morning we rose very early and headed to Brightvale to search for any sign of him. Again there was none. I was considering stopping in at the bookshop to buy presents for my pets, but as I was about to go in I saw something that stopped me dead. There was a large gathering of people just around the corner, they looked like a mob.
"Chloe..." I whispered in warning.
"For the love of Fyora, did someone stick a 'please mob us' note on our backs?" Chloe sighed. "You know, Brightvale was a very bad idea if someone is out to get us. You have a bounty on your head here, we should have expected a mob,"
"I can't help it if Hagan's ego needs deflating. He doesn't really need to put his face on so many windows and statues," I protested.
We turned and tried to casually walk away when I heard a rough voice shout, "There she is! Get her!"
I could have cried. Chloe and I took off running again, with a mob on our heels. We ran straight until we reached the next port and looked at ferries.
"Terror Mountain!" I gasped turning for a ferry that was about to leave.
I pushed Neopoints into the hands of the attendant and we raced up the gangplank. The ferry pulled up the plank after us and we waved to an angry mob staring after us on the pier.
"Chloe, did we become famous or infamous without knowing? This totally can't be coincidence. I wonder if I have a bounty on my head. Okay, a bounty outside of Brightvale," I panted.
"I am certain I saw a Desert Uni in the midst of that crowd. You're right; our family is setting us up," Chloe said.
"Why? What have I ever done to them to deserve this? I may not be the best mother in Neopia, but you can't say I haven't tried my best and I've given them all unconditional love. For Fyora's sake, I adopted them, that's gotta win me points!" I gasped as I dropped on the deck.
"I'm not sure; maybe they really don't want you finding Boochi," Chloe suggested as she sat down.
"I've got no luck. I'm a minion, my overlord is a Meepit, Buzz Johnson is mean as all get out, and my beloved children have it out for me. I hope Anita, Elise, and Inna are having a better time than we are," I complained.
"Yeah, life is hard sometimes," Chloe commiserated. "It's about to get worse for you, we're headed to the coldest place in Neopia and your arch-nemesis lives there."
"Oh," I whimpered. "I'm so dead."
I did the first smart thing I have ever done in my career. I got off that mountain the moment I arrived. It would probably throw my darlings off my trail and Taelia wouldn't have an excuse to destroy me. We went back to Neopia Central. It was only Tuesday, but I was done. I decided tomorrow I would haul myself to the Space Station and ask Dr. Sloth to give me a tour of some of his operations for my article. For a villain, he has a heart of gold. I knew he would be perfectly happy to harass his minions for an hour, demanding they pick up the pace and threatening them with ray guns, while a journalist wrote it all down and painted a picture of what an evil villain he is.
We stopped in at my shop to check and see if anything had sold since I left. After I finished up my business there we headed for home. As we were walking away I heard a rustling in the bushes and I stopped. I was seriously afraid it was another mob out to get us. But, no, a baby Bruce popped out of the bushes and pointed a ray gun at Chloe.
"Sweet Fyora, it's you! I've been looking all over for you!" I screamed.
He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me like I had gone mad.
"You have?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm Kristykimmy; I'm a journalist for the Weekly World. I would love to ask you a few questions for an article," I explained.
"Sure, but I want to transform your Moehog first," Boochi replied.
"Sure thing, if you can catch me. You've tried once before and I was too quick for you that time too. Are you feeling lucky?" Chloe taunted.
"Chloe's a labbie; she'll be something different by next week," I informed him.
"Really? That stinks. Well, I'll let you go this time, but only because this thing takes a while to recharge between shots," Boochi relented. "Why don't we go inside your shop to do this? We'll get mobbed if we stand outside."
We were both very agreeable to moving the interview inside so that we didn't have to deal with any more mobs. Half an hour later I had asked Boochi every conceivable question I could think of. We parted ways and Chloe and I went home.
Elise met us at the door with an exuberant Inna. I decided that my article could wait a while, Inna was far more important. I took Inna to the kitchen to make cookies. Elise asked if we had seen the other girls and Bluejay, we just laughed sarcastically and told her not to ask.
I was mixing together the dough together and Chloe was playing peek-a-boo with Inna when suddenly there was a knock at the dinning room door, the one that led into the garden. I couldn't think of why someone would come to that door, it was very out of the way.
"Chloe, that must be your siblings. Will you go let them in?" I asked.
"Do we have to let them back in?" Chloe groaned. "Can't they camp in the playhouse for a few weeks?"
"I'll think about it, now please let them in," I replied.
She got up and went to that door. I heard her open it.
"Oh, it's you," she said in disgust.
"Watch your tone, girl. I can make your life so miserable if you peeve me," said the high pitched voice of my Meepit Overlord. "Where is your mother?"
"She is in the kitchen, master," Chloe replied sarcastically.
"That's right, and don't you forget it. I brought you a present,"
Chloe oohed and Meepie said, "I trust that this Water Faerie Water Blaster will be sufficient to do the job."
"I almost like you for the moment," Chloe replied and I heard her go outside.
I had to have done something really wrong for Meepie to be coming to yell at me. Mentally cringing, I turned to the door as Meepie walked in.
"Good day, Meepie. Why are you visiting me? What have I done this time? I'm working on the article and the comic Mr. Johnson told me to do. They'll be ready by Thursday," I reported nervously.
"Calm down, Kristy. You're not always the one at fault." Meepie groaned. "Hello, Inna."
"Ewow, Meep," Inna replied, for some odd reason shy Inna likes Meepie.
"I know about your recent troubles with the article hunt. That is not acceptable. I can't have you bringing that much attention to yourself, especially when we have you on missions. I've come with a warning, you make the responsible party understand that or I will send someone over to make the responsible party understand that. Am I perfectly clear?" Meepie warned.
"Perfectly, the 'responsible party' will not do that ever again," I replied through a fake smile.
"Good, I see you understand clearly. Goodbye, Inna."
"Bye-bye, Meep," Inna called as she waved at him.
Meepie left and I went on with life as though it had never happened. I rolled the cookies into balls, put them on a cookie sheet, and then put them in the oven. Then I sat on the floor and played games with Inna until they were done. As I was sliding them onto a cooling rack, Princess, Bluejay, and Yanli walked into the kitchen. They looked dumbfounded to find me there.
My starry Pteri shook it off first.
"Hi there, Kristy!" he chirped. "When did you get home?"
"An hour ago, after I finished interviewing Boochi," I replied not looking at them.
"Oh, so you found him. Where?" Princess asked nervously.
"Neopia Central, right outside my shop," I answered.
"Oh, did you have a good trip?" Princess inquired, trying too hard to sound innocent.
"I got enough exercise for a year," I said, finally looking at them with a psychotic smile.
"Well, um, I've got to go rearrange my books," Princess started.
"My Overlord came by while you were out. He said if you ever played pranks like that again while I'm working, you'll be very sorry," I stated. "Believe me, he wasn't joking."
The three of them looked at each other and gulped.
Chloe came into the kitchen at that moment and cried, "Guys, you're home! Where have you been? I got you guys a souvenir from our trip. It's awesome. Come on, it's out in the yard."
Just as they walked out, Anita walked into the kitchen.
"Anita! Honey, you're home early!" I cried, hugging her tight.
It was nice to have someone who I could be happy to have return home.
"Yeah, there was a bad storm and it forced the ship off course and then we sailed over a shallow reef that tore a hole in the hull and caused the ship to sink. We all had to abandon it and we spent hours floating in the lifeboats before another ship made it there and took us back to Altador. I travel light so I was able to take my pack with me on the lifeboat, so I didn't lose anything. It was an experience like no other," Anita told me.
"Wow, sounds like your last couple of days were almost as eventful as mine," I said as I went to look out the window, grinning malevolently.
Suddenly screams erupted from the yard.
"What's going on out there?" Anita asked.