teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 188,728,398 Issue: 530 | 27th day of Sleeping, Y14
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Show Your Snowager Love

by jamespongebob


I carefully latched the cable to the harness supporting my body. The cold gusts of icy wind swirled snow around the Winter Starlight Celebration. A Xweetok all suited up in gear released his rope, and flew backwards into the Snowager's cave. I gave a quick nod to the Techo in charge of sending you into his cave, and I gave a strong kick to the snowy ground. I was rapidly propelled backwards through the entrance towards the Snowager's cave. The wind rushed through my body as I rapidly descended among the stalactites and stalagmites. I had to stifle a scream. Even though the Snowager is in deep hibernation, I couldn't risk it. Neither could the Xweetok a few feet below me. I righted myself, and my feet skidded along the cold, icy floor. I came to a stop a few feet from the curved, hard wall. I quickly unlatched my harness and stepped forward.

The massive Ice Worm lay curled up among his mountains of treasures. Piles and piles of everything from Neggs to Scratchcards to weapons littered the room. The Xweetok I saw earlier was already making his way across a mountain of items towards something. I wasn't sure if he was aiming for the beautiful silver shield or that colorful Negg. I came here for one reason only. I untied a package which was attached to my waist and made my way to the beautiful creature. What is the package, you ask? A light blue gift box with a velvet dark blue ribbon. Yes, I brought the Snowager a gift.

If you go to the Story Telling competition a lot, then you might have remembered the story about the Snowager. I am an avid Snowager fan and I think that that story gives the message I've wanted everyone to hear my entire life. People visit the Snowager to steal his things and people consider him a monster for two reasons.

1. He looks like a monster.

2. He guards his treasure and attacks you when you try to steal it.

But honestly, is he a villain? Basically, you're not technically a monster just because you look like one. And people steal things from him and he doesn't attack without reason. He attacks because you steal his things. Tell me, would you do nothing if someone steals your things? He is strong and powerful, but why does everyone treat him like he's some kind of monstrous villain? Even good guys, like the Defenders of Neopia, do nothing about it! Everyone just keeps doing it, and no one thinks there is anything wrong with it! They think it's ok, but the Snowager's never done anything wrong!

So let me explain what this article is about as I wrap the ribbon of the gift around the Snowager's neck (to make sure no one gets it, I placed my name on the tag and the phrase: "To: Snowager"). I want to let people stop this act from constantly looting from his property. I'm sick of no one thinking it's wrong and there's only one thing I can do about it. Get everyone's attention. Protests, rallies, whatever way possible. And YOU, my dear reader, can help me.

So here's what you've got to do. Bring these items wherever you go, in any way you can. Wear them, play them, showcase them. Show your love and we might be able to help the amazing beast known as the Snowager! Let's start.

1. Snowager Ball

What I love about this pretty ball is that it's cheap. Play with it and show your love by using it. Don't make fun of it or anything, though. This nice toy is like any other ball, but to help with the Snowager's cause, use it. You can get it as cheap as 50 NP.

2. Snowager Arm Cuff

I love this accessory because it's ferocious, cool and stylish. Add it to your arm, paw or leg. It's very smooth and cool and awesome to showcase.

3. Snowager Keyring

If you have a large collection of keyrings (like the Snowager), then you'd better get this one to help with the cause. Like any other keyring, it's affordable and it will make a nice addition to your collection.

4. Snowager Ornament

This beautiful ornament is worth its price. It's very beautiful; made of ice and glass, it resonates beauty and light like a crystal. You can hang it for the seasons or just place it on a table for a beautiful centerpiece. Trust me, even if you don't like the Snowager, you'll have to admit, this is a pretty cool ornament.

5. Snowager Poster

Post it in your room or where else you'd like to. For those who have lots and lots of posters, please add this to your collection. It's cool and very interesting.

6. Snowager Sculpture

This beautifully crafted stone sculpture was released at Y6 at the Advent Calendar. It's a stylish addition to any Neohome and would make a beautiful structure in any garden.

7. Snowager Stained Glass Window

If you ever stop by Brightvale, be sure to pick up this beautiful window. The hues of blue in this glass will add fine beauty to any room and it's sure to please anyone.

8. Snowager Cap

This is one of the cutest caps I had ever seen. It's perfect for any head and made of warm wool, and it's an absolute MUST for Winter. It's absolutely adorable and if you happened to get one at the Advent Calendar on Y9, wear it for the Winter.

9. Snowager Bobblehead

Daily Dare fanatic? If you are, you might probably have one of these. Isn't it cool how his head bobs back and forth. It's awesome for any collection and might make a neat paperweight on any piece of paper.

10. Snowager Plushie

I guess you would have more or less expected this one. Anyhow, get this cute plushie and display it to help the Snowager who's been losing more and more of his supply during his hibernation.

I hope this article really inspired you because I really want to help the Snowager. Something wrong being passed off as right really saddens me and hopefully you will help with the stop of this act. I guess I should leave the Ice Caves, now. My time is running up. Finally I would like to say- Zip!

"Stalactite!" BONK!

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