Altador Cup VI News! Where in the Sea is Dorina Hals?
Breaking News! Xecile here, reporting to you live from the depths of Maraqua!
There’s been a small leak that some key team players will not be returning for Altador Cup VI. This includes the world renowned Dorina Hals of Team Maraqua!
Word just got out today that Dorina Hals will not be joining Maraqua in the fight for the Altador Cup and it has been complete turmoil across the entire ocean: Maraquans are swimming everywhere in a frenzy and destroying anything they see. They have just heard, like I have, that Hals, one of the team’s star players, and also a huge fan favorite, is retiring from yooyuball.
One of the Best Maraquan Players in History
Dorina Hals has been with Team Maraqua since Year 10 with some of the best players that Maraqua has ever seen: Black Hole Elon Hughlis, the slick Barit Jowes, the intimidating Oten Runeu, and the mighty Tonie Plessix.
Many of us know Hals as the more mature counterpart of Hughlis, the Captain of Team Maraqua. Hughlis can have a quick temper and sometimes can lack leadership skills, but that is where Hals comes into play: She makes sure the team is well organized, that the strategies are top notch, and makes sure that Hughlis stays under control when he gets heated. If Hals is retiring, what will become of the hotheaded Hughlis, and the Maraquan team?
Rumor has it that a Kiko will be replacing Hals as the new offensive player, possibly Lamelle Turow from Team Lost Desert. He could very well be a cousin of Lamelle (and a new player to the Altador Cup), but if it is, in fact, the mummy player that helped Lost Desert win the Cup in Year 12, then he’s going to have a difficult time switching from the boiling desert to the cool ocean waters.
Will this new Kiko be able to keep up with Team Maraqua’s quick fins? Turow was a defensive player on Team Lost Desert, so how will the change from defense to offense affect the team as a whole? These are important questions that Team Maraqua should be considering if they hope for a shot at the Cup this year.
The Fans’ Reaction
Fans from the darkest corners of the sea have been in a complete rage over the whole ordeal. Unfortunately, the star player’s whereabouts seems to be a mystery, so we could not get a first hand response as to why she has decided to retire. I can, however, pass on some examples of the utter disbelief that Maraquan fans everywhere are showing on their faces. Of course, you don’t have to go far to see it: there are protesters swimming around and around, letting their voice be heard:
One Maraquan Buzz said, “As Dorina’s number one fan, I will not settle for her retirement just yet! We have been so close to winning the cup; it’s ridiculous of her to leave this year! She’s been with us for almost half of the Altador Cup history, it seems only right for her to stay until we can take home that gold trophy!”
Strangely, when I asked an older woman in the crowd for her thoughts, she only had one problem with the devastating news: “Dorina Hals didn’t just represent Maraqua, she represents all of the lady Maraquan yooyuball players that have always wished to be a part of the Altador Cup. Now hotheaded guys overrun our team, and I don’t even need to hint to who I’m talking about.”
I swam towards an obvious Maraquan fan in a protesting crowd: she was wearing a Team Maraquan hat, Hals jersey, and #1 foam fin. When I asked her for her thoughts, she yelled: “Dorina can’t leave us! We’ve been supporting her for years! This is outrageous! BRING BACK DORINA, BRING BACK DOR--”
A More Dorina-Approved Crowd
After being trampled on by the entire crowd, I was able to escape and find less aggressive followers to hear what they have to say:
A small Maraquan Cybunny only had these heart-felt words to say through sniffing tears: “Dorina... why?”
I found an old Maraquan Moehog fan from Altador Cup I on his porch steps and when I asked for his opinion of the player replacement, he blatantly said, “Kiko!? What in tarnation is that? We don’t see many of those lake dwellers in these here saltwaters. Will he even be able to survive down here?”
One young Maractite Hissi commented, looking nervous, “My friend told me that... that Kikos are a rare food that the Great Oten eats for dinner every night! Will this Kiko be able to play on the same field as Oten?”
The Continents Speak Out
Word from the land has just reached us that other team fans share similar feelings with the heart-crushed Maraquan fans. Here are a couple comments: “Dorina Hals was my favorite Maraquan player... I’m sorry to hear she’s retiring” and, “Why are there so many Kikos playing in the Altador Cup? Surely there are more capable options. Like [the amazing] Kyrii for instance!” (ahem... that might be a little biased on my part, but only a tiny bit.)
Where do They Go from Here?
So there you have it. Rumors are flying everywhere, and everyone is praying to King Kelpbeard for Dorina Hals to stay with Team Maraqua. What will happen next? Hopefully this mess will settle down soon, or Maraqua might find itself in ruins yet again.
If you are reading this, Ms. Hals, we hope that everything is all right and please reconsider your decision to leave Team Maraqua and its loyal followers. Everyone is counting on you, with the solid team, to win this year’s Cup that for all the Maraquan and Maractites alike.
From the deepest reaches of the ocean, this is Xecile signing out. But before I go, I leave you with these ever-repeated words: “Bring back Dorina.” Good night.