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Finding The Right Gift for Your Evil Pet


by jaredneo100

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Christmas is just right around the corner. You're sitting on your quaint, cozy little sofa checking your holiday shopping list. Deluxe Usuki collector's set for your precious faerie Kyrii? Check! Some new motor oil for your robot Poogle? Check! Petpet nip for the crazy Mauket lady next door? Check! Some get-well-soon cards for all the faeries that were turned to stone? Check! As you are finishing up the list and preparing to congratulate yourself with a fresh bottle of Neocola, you come across something that stops you dead in your tracks. Down at the very bottom of the list is the name of one of your pets. Guilt spreads over you like marmalade on toast, yet you wish that you hadn't noticed it. This particular pet plays with voodoo dolls and deadly ray guns. What on Neopia do you get it as a gift?

I, myself, always faced this dilemma when it came to Christmas shopping. One of our newest additions to the family Toki, a baby Buzz, prefers robotic minions and items filled with dark magic over action figures and faerie dolls. Like most people, I had no idea what to do at first. Luckily, however, I found a few steps that helped me figure out what to get my little Toki. These might even help you as well.

Step 1- Embrace the fact that your pet is evil.

It's hard to admit it, but there is no way to make your pet normal. You can keep on trying to get Lucas the Kacheek to stop playing with Sloth's atomic particle destabilizers, or you can get him his own clockwork Grundo. It may be hard to accept your pet's taste in evil items at first, but soon you'll come to realize that some of the items he or she likes are cheaper than Usuki dolls or princess play sets. Here are a few, evil examples of inexpensive items:

MechaBerry Bomb: Sure you could buy your pet one Hissi plushie for around 300 neopoints. However, you could purchase 300 MechaBerry Bombs for the exact same price!

Rainbow Gun: Maybe you still want to pretend your pet is good, but you also want to make him or her happy. With a Rainbow Gun that and even more can be possible. For a low price around 200 neopoints, your pet can still be evil while leaving rainbows everywhere.

Exploding Potion: For only a small cost your pet can unleash a huge amount of evil onto the world. As soon as your pet removes the cork from the bottle a huge torrent of flames and agony will descend upon his or her enemies. (Hopefully not you.) Even with the cheap price, the look on your pet's when he or she creates a massive crater in your backyard will be priceless.

Step 2- Strike up an evil conversation with your pet.

Sure, you talk to your pet about normal things such as the weather and the latest plot steps, but have you ever thought about talking to your pet about evil things he or she may like? Next time you speak to your Halloween Draik, ask him how his latest schemes are coming along. He may hint at needing a darkness potion to complete his latest spell. He may even show you some of the diabolical deeds he plans to do with the spell so you can help him even more! Remember, a little evil conversation can go a very long way.

Step 3- Find what brand of evil your pet likes.

There are many different types of evil objects out there. So many, in fact, that you may go insane choosing the right one for your pet. Have no fear! Simply observe your pet when you're going to the marketplace or any other shopping area. Does he or she prefer to look at the store filled with ray guns, or the one filled with magical artifacts that may have contributed to the faeries being petrified? Does he or she glance at the books about mind control, or the ones on scaring innocent bystanders? Does he or she like enchanted food, or dehydrated meals? Whatever the case may be, your holiday shopping can become quite fun if you just remember to pay attention to your pet. If you're lucky, your pet may like all kinds of evil items! (Well, that may not be so lucky to you but it does make for quick and easy shopping.)

Step 4- Ask some evil friends if they know what your pet wants.

After making some quick observations, you now have a pretty good idea of what to get as that last, evil Christmas present. Don't celebrate just yet! It might be a smart idea to double check, just in case it turns out you're wrong. You wouldn't want your Darigan Aisha to be disappointed on Christmas day when she finds out that the new, evil collar you gave her doesn't have a stun feature, would you? Before you make an evil purchase, go check with some of the sinister creatures your pet has befriended. It could possibly turn out that your Aisha mentioned to the Pant Devil that she not only wanted a collar with a stun option, but she also wanted it to have built in lasers. (It might be wise to bring a few of your own friends when visiting your pet's acquaintances, in case they're not friendly.)

Step 5- Don't second guess the amount of evil a gift may contain.

As you are about to pay for the gift you've picked for your pet, a sudden thought rises into your head. "Is this pushing it?" You look at the Wand of Dark Nova you picked up for your Mutant Cybunny inquisitively. Could this object contain too much evil for her to handle? You picture her opening her present on Christmas day and releasing darkness everywhere. This is a problem many people face when they are getting ready to buy an evil gift. However, if you are a good owner and have faith in your pet, there is no need to worry. Your Mutant Cybunny may be evil, but she knows better when it comes to being too evil. Don't over think when it comes to evil items and weaponry.

In conclusion, these are just a few easy steps that can help you find the perfectly evil gift for your pet. Now you can cross your pet's name off the list and enjoy some fresh, nonevil Neocola.

 
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