Quiggle Conspiracy Theory
The Quiggle Conspiracy Theory, what's that you may ask? WHY, ONLY THE BIGGEST CONSPIRACY EVER, THAT'S WHAT!!! *cough* Ahem, well, that shall all be covered in due time; anyways, moving on.
Now supporters of the Quiggle Conspiracy Theory (the Q.C.T as savvy Quiggle lovers like to say) believe in the conspiracy that corrupted users have intentionally deteriorated the status of the Quiggle. We shall go deeper into the theory, but first let us look at a few urban myths and bust them if you will.
ZOMG DRAIKS AND KRAWKS ARE SO ELITE QUIGGLES ARE LAME!!!11!
There is a common misconception that has spread across all of Neopia that Draiks and Krawks are the most "elite". Why, some people are even informing newbies that this is the way things are. It's amazing how far a silly rumor that these distorted lizards are "popular" can go . Let's not be ridiculous now; we can all finally drop the joke of their "worth", or people may actually start to believe it. ;)
QUIGGLES ARE MADE OF UGLY APPLESAUCE!!!11!
People can be such silly spring chickens; there is clearly a secret formula for making a Quiggle. I can't possibly release all that classified info but the gist of it is:
TNT staff member of awesomeness + computer + electricity + brain + flash files + bottle of awesomesauce = Quiggle
It is a mixture of pure science and logic; how can one argue that!
The theory is dumb and makes no sense!
Well, you see, like all good theories, it is created of facts. And if you see some of the facts you will see that they don't make much sense either, therefore making the theory a tad unbelievable. But, however, if you really think about the idea without it imploding your brain, you will find that much of it actually does make some sort of sense.
Now that we got all that out of the way, let us take a closer look at the Q.C.T:
The Quiggle Conspiracy Theory states that despite popular belief of the superiority of Draiks and Krawks, the supreme ruler is clearly the Quiggle.
Now of course one simply wouldn't pull this idea out of thin air. There are many facts and evidence that support the theory.
Fact #1: If you take a casual stroll to the pound chat, you will see where the corruption has hit hardest. Almost everyone there is in denial of the truth. There they believe that Draiks and Krawks are "what all the cool kids" have. Pffftttt, I know, right? Total insanity.
Now just follow me with this for a second. Let's for a moment pretend that "Draiks and Krawks are awesome". If they are so great and people want them, why is it that every other thread has one uft? Think about it, if everyone wants one, how come people keep trying to get rid of them? It's quite hypocritical; I mean, if a pet is great, it would make more sense that people would want to keep them.
Let's take a look at the Quiggle. If you were to spend the day at the pound chat and count up how many Draik/Krawk threads you see as opposed to Quiggles, the count would be something like: 56,789 to 2. If we use the same logic from before, this tells us that people are constantly trying to get rid of Draiks/Krawks, whereas the Quiggles are being hoarded.
Fact #2: Quiggles are constantly being hoarded. It's true you're lucky to see one uft and ufa you may as well forget it. You see we have a side theory that Quiggles are being taken and stashed away by "Quiggle hoarders". These people are usually only interested in status so they hoard all the Quiggles so we common folk may never get one. Once in a while, though, a kind hoarder may take one of their 20 Quiggles and in most cases put it uft. But sometimes they may even put one ufa or in very rare cases make a spectacle of pounding one. This is why Quiggles are so hard to get because of those who don't want to share, WHY, OH WHY, I ASK!?!?
Fact #3: Now many lizard lovers find it's needed to direct us to the Neopets Popularity Page. You will see in 53rd place you have the Draik with 15,476 and in last place is the Krawk with 2,443. And if you look in 30th we have the Quiggle with 3,255,208. However this page has not been updated in a LONG while, so it lacks updated information that the lizard lovers need to back up their argument. To me all that page proves is that Draiks and Krawks are the least popular species.
If one wants to see a species popularity and rarity in a more updated fashion, there is no better place to go than the pound chat. If you look around, you will see that most people have their rarest pet as their active to show them off. Now you could spend all day on the pound boards and you will see many MANY Draiks and Krawks but you will be lucky to find a handful of savvy PCers who even own a Quiggle. So this to me shows that Draiks and Krawks are greatly in supply, and not only that, are being traded and put up for adoption left and right. But only a few people even own a Quiggle and you almost never see one uft or ufa, which shows not only are they very rare, but they aren't in supply either, making them that much more elusive.
Perhaps one day we may be able to bring Neopia into the light from its delusional state of darkness. Quiggle lovers far and wide never fear, for one day the rest of Neopia will join us and finally accept the truth. That is all for now, fellow readers; please stay tuned in for future articles. Until then, spread the word; hug a Quiggle; eat some chocolate; and of course keep smiling!
Hey, Jazzy here; if you support the Q.C.T, be sure to check out Jazzeh's page and spread the love. :)