Still thwarting Sloth's mind control... Circulation: 175,300,931 Issue: 364 | 17th day of Collecting, Y10
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A Zombie-fied Candychan Tale

by twocents


A sequel to "Another Candychan Tale" from issue 356.

I flitted over the landscape of what I decided would be my home. Snowy mountaintops, iced-over ponds, and almost constant snow. Terror Mountain was a treasure. Clean and white, constant in its features and almost constant in its residents.

     Landing in the Ice Caves, I paused to glance at my reflection in the icy walls. Running a hand over my belly, the teeth wounds had healed rapidly. I was, once again, an image of perfection. My whipped cream wings and frozen (because of the temperature) chocolate body looked, well, good enough to eat.

     “Hey!” a voice called out. “You made it!”

     Androcles, a pompous Snow Candychan, who had abandoned me. Really, though, he wasn’t all that bad.

     “You thought I was going to be eaten or something?” I asked with a chuckle. “Hey, where are you?”

     He popped out from behind a nearby stalagmite with a sheepish grin. “Well, I was a little worried about my sidekick. But just a little, you know,” he said sulkily.

     “Is that why you flew away so suddenly?” I laughed. “You were just so concerned?”

     I wasn’t worried about his abandoning me. Zombie pets seemed to have overtaken Happy Valley. One of them, Androcles’ old pet named It, had tried to eat me. Unsuccessfully, clearly. At the time, I was a little upset, but now, it just seemed sort of funny. And considering what Androcles was like, I probably would desert him in a similar situation.

     He didn’t seem to see the humor. “If you’re going to be mean about it, then I might as well just leave.” He crossed his arms and glared at me.

     A thought occurred to me, actually. Considering his narcissism and ego and my unending curiosity and desire to get involved in things I shouldn’t, this seemed like a perfectly bad idea that we would do against all reason.

     “Hey, want to be a hero?” I asked.

     His arms were still crossed and he wasn’t looking at me, but I had appealed to his desire for fame. He tried to pretend to be ignoring me, but he couldn’t keep the façade up. “Oh?”

     “I was thinking,” I started slowly, “that all these zombies being about, that’s a real problem, isn’t it?”

     “The local residents are a little frightened.”

     “So, if we got rid of them...”

     “Then everyone would love us!” he squealed. “That’s the best idea ever. I can’t believe I thought it up!”

     I opened up my mouth to correct him, but I waved the idea away. The delusional will keep having their delusions.

     “Exactly what I was thinking,” I said instead. “All we need is a plan.”

     “To get rid of them.”

     “That’s the idea.”


     We both sat down and leaned against the wall.


     A few hours later, we were still sitting there. I had nothing, and was simply considering what I wanted for supper. A snoring sound disturbed my decision-making process (pizza or a sandwich?). I jerked my elbow back and heard a yelp.

     “I have an idea!” Androcles exclaimed. “I think that we can form a better plan of action once we have an idea of how many zombies there are.”

     Now, Androcles didn’t seem to be the most aware Candychan in the world, but that idea was pretty decent. Have an idea of what you’re up against, then form a plan. Seemed sensible enough for me.

     We flew out of the Caves, and took in a view of the entire Valley. There were five types of zombies. “You count the Aishas and Buzzes. I’ll count how many Cybunnies, Shoyrus and Usuls there are,” I called over to him.

     He gave a nod to indicate that he heard me and flew off to the left. Taking the right, I began to tally up the numbers in my head. A few minutes later, we regrouped at the entrance of the Caves.

     “Three Aishas and two Buzzes,” he said.

     “Four Cybunnies, two Shoyrus and one Usul. So that’s twelve zombies in total,” I replied. “We can get rid of them!”

     “It’s gone?” he asked hesitantly. It scared him, when he saw that she had become a zombie.

     “All taken care of. Thanks to Mr. Personality over there,” I jerked a thumb in the direction of the Snowager, telling Androcles what happened without having to say anything.

     As I did, a thought seemed to dawn on both of us. His charcoal eyes gleamed with the idea, as if they had been shined.

     “You know...” He leaned close to me, and whispered the rest of his thought.

     “Couldn’t have said it better myself!” I exclaimed. We high-fived, then set about to get ready.


     Night had fallen now. It was a crisp night, with a clear sky. The stars dazzled, and you could see everything clearly for quite a ways, considering the time. I hung in the air above my stationed point, the Wintery Petpets shop. I peered into the night to look for Androcles’ white body. He was floating above the pond where many pets played Rink Runner, or where they did, before the zombies moved in.

     I swooped down low, and quickly picked up a snowball. I flung it as hard as I could in his direction. A different (and possibly yellow) snowball quickly returned to me. Time for action.

     I dived down straight at the ground, pulling up at the last minute. I was so close to the ground that my speed caused the snow to fluff up into the air. Zooming over the landscape as quick as I could, I headed in the direction where Androcles was supposed to be heading at me.

     The moans of the incoherent zombies reached my ears, and I knew they had spotted me at least. Please don’t let me down, Androcles, I wished in my head. Adrenaline was taking over, but the fear of the zombies was still very real.

     As I came over the no man’s land over the Snow Wars play area, I saw him coming directly at me. Yes! He had about half of the zombies following quickly after him. I saw his eyes bulge, and could only imagine what I looked like as the zombies followed me.

     We reached a middle point and simultaneously, we changed direction and headed for the Ice Caves. The zombies ran into each other, from the sounds of it, so we slowed down a bit to make sure that they didn’t forget about our presence.

     When it was clear that the group had mobilized again, we flapped our wings a little harder. Grinning wildly, Androcles turned to look at me, and give me a thumbs up. This was way too cool.

     We flew over Ice Crystal Shop and Scratchcard Kiosk. I glanced back, to make sure they hadn’t lost sight of us, but the Caves seemed to glow, even at night. The hunger was clear in their eyes. They weren’t going to leave us.

     Veering right suddenly, we dived into a pile of Neggs and waited in hushed tones. Breathing hard, but trying not to be too loud, we sat and waited for what we figured was an appropriate amount of time.

     “Think they’re gone now,” he whispered to me finally.

     “I’m not looking.”

     We strained our ears and tried to hear the sounds of the zombies. It was a distinct moaning sound, as if they were trying to talk, along with a shuffle-shuffle sound that their feet made when moving.

     My heart seemed to be pounding in my ears, and I couldn’t hear anything at all. I wasn’t too sure of that assertion, though. Not sure enough to come out.

     Then, a thin tail wrapped around us both. Androcles shrieked and I held on. Hauled out of our hiding place, we were lifted until we were face to face with the Snowager.

     “You can stop hiding now,” he said in a slithery, devious sort of voice. “But, please, stop feeding me.” He tossed us to the ground and went back to lying down.

     Flying up among the stalactites, we curled ourselves around them and finally relaxed. Popping out from behind one a little ways away from me, Androcles looked at me and grinned.

     You know, it kind of feels like we’re a team.

The End

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