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A Christmas Health and Safety Message


by popolopolis_the_3rd_

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Christmas can be a fun, joyous season, and in the weeks leading up to the big day there is much celebrating and a lot of festivities. Everyone seems a lot kinder and more sharing over the Month of Celebrating in Neopia. However, our job here at the Neopian Bureau of Holiday Health and Safety (NBHHS) is to warn everyone of the true dangers behind these Christmas festivities.

Danger no.1: The Advent Calendar

Neopians rich and poor alike love to visit the Advent Calendar each day in the Month of Celebrating to redeem their free gifts. However innocent this may seem, at the NBHHS we are concerned this causes many potential health and safety issues in and around your neohome. For a start, the Advent Calendar hands out an average of two items a day, which means over the 31 day period you are receiving 62 new items and much of these are unneeded, useless pieces of junk. In the time after Christmas, the Money Tree complains of having too many Christmas items donated to it, and the Thrift Shoppe is swarming with grubby secondhand Christmas Fashions. Neohomes around the Christmas season are overly cluttered, causing them to be hazardous to the residents. Also, young neopets whose owners forget to collect the Advent Calendar prizes one day tend to become violent and easily agitated; this same thing also happens when young neopets are fed too many Christmas goodies found in the calendar.

Danger no.2: Weather and Snow

In most of Neopia, the Month of Celebrating is in the height of winter. Temperatures hit an all time low, and everyone in Neopia prepares for the oncoming snow. Snow has been known to been so strong in some places in Terror Mountain it has collapsed roof in neohomes. This cold weather leads to a larger incidence of the NeoFlu and the Sneezles. Many young neopets love to play in the snow; activities such as building snowmen, having snowball fights with your friends, and ice skating are extremely popular. However each one of these activities can lead to injury. The long periods of time spent out in the snow to construct a snowman can lead your pet to catch Neomonia. Major bruising and injuries can be caused by a constant onslaught on snowballs, and falling on your face onto the cold, hard ice is not very fun at all. Other types of injuries can occur by those residents on the other side of Neopia (where the Month of Celebrating is during winter) when these traditional winter activities are attempted where there is no snow. Snow pets are especially warned to stay away from these white, cold playgrounds if they do not wish for their left ear to be rolled into a ball by a naïve young pet and thrown at another.

Danger no.3: Decorating

One thing we all love in Neopia about Christmas is the decorations. Over the Month of Celebrating, Neopia is lit up in lights, the wreaths on people’s doors and the holly and bells hanging from every nook and cranny. Baby neopets have often mistaken the “Candy Cane light strings” as edible candy canes and as a result have come down with a bad case of Shock-a-lots which makes the pet difficult to control as the pet's fur will be full of static and anything it touches will give off electric sparks. Pets have also been known to catch Blurred Vision due to the brightness of some of these Christmas lights. It is suggested if you are going to risk putting lights up in your neohome that you read “Decorating with light” to learn the proper ways to do it. Not only are wreaths prickly and can cause allergies, hanging a wreath on your door at Christmas may attract wreathys to your neohome. The sharp prickles on wreathys make them extremely dangerous, make sure to keep your pet well away from this petpet. Tinsel, holly, bells and other garlands hanging from the roof and walls of your neohome could possibly fall down and spoil a good Christmas dinner, but even worse would be if a garland were to fall down and hit your neopet square in the head; your pet would be suffering from an Achy head for weeks. But the most dangerous of all these decorations would definitely be the Christmas trees. These trees are loaded up with many baubles and other decorations (including those listed above as dangerous!), and when too many decorations are loaded into these trees, sometimes the trees cannot take the load anymore and decorations begin to fall off, and when that happens, you and your pet’s cries of “HELP!!! IT’S RAINING BAUBLES!!!!!!!!!!!” will be heard all throughout Neopia.

Danger no.4: The Christmas Feasting

In the eyes of many Neopians, Christmas would not be the same without the Christmas feast! Food, food, and more food is placed out over the kitchen table in your neohome on Christmas night and you and your pets eat until you can’t possibly eat any more! But be warned! This Christmas tradition leads to many health problems, and the Neopian hospital claims to have more cases of Bloaty Belly than ever in the Month of Celebrating. Flat-u-less Inc (the company specialising in the production of Flat-u-less Tablets) make most of their yearly income at this time. Not only is overeating an issue, some food is just all out dangerous. Last year there were thirty five cases of “Flaming Christmas puddings” setting fire to snowman/tinsel/bell garlands that resulted in major fires burning through the entire neohome. Christmas tends to lead to your pet consuming large amounts of unhealthy Christmas goodies. When your pet eats too many of these goodies, they may become hyper and easily agitated. The sugar in these sweets is damaging to your pet’s dental hygiene and they may even get Neogitus (which, however, might help them stop consuming so much food as they will have difficulty eating or drinking).

Danger no.5: Dressing Up

Ahh, the good old Christmas wearables: fun, festive, and cozy little outfits to show that you and your pets are ready for Christmas. DON’T BE FOOLISH! Christmas outfits may look fun, festive, and cozy, but they can lead to serious health issues. The fuzzy linings in Christmas hats and coats may lead to Fuzzitus and are a good hideout for those pesky little NeoMites who like to make your pet itch. Neopians that reside in the Lost Desert and Tyrannia should stay well clear of these Christmas fashions as they may cause overheating. If this overheating does happen to occur, do not hesitate; pull all the Christmas clothing off your pet and give it a slushie to cool it down. This ridiculous attire is so common over Christmas it is often hard to tell your festively dressed pet from the next. More neopets are reported missing over Christmas than at any other time of the year.

So to remain safe and have fun this Christmas season, lock yourself in your neohome and don’t venture outside. Turn the Christmas lights off, take those decorations down, keep your pets locked away tightly, and sit in the corner of your room holding a Bony Graarl Club for protection against those neopets who have consumed too much candy.

(P.S. The NBHHS do not hold any responsibility for incidences of NeoPhobia caused by the warnings in this article.)

This has been a Christmas health and safety message brought to you by the Neopian Bureau of Holiday Health and Safety (NBHHS).

 
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