There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 137,350,242 Issue: 277 | 2nd day of Awakening, Y9
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Ten Ways to Annoy Your Sibling(s)


by alexrae963

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Jake was bored. I mean, he was really bored. The Baby Lupe had spent the past week lounging around the house. As he yawned, casually stretched out on his straw bed, he reached onto the floor and brought a clipboard eye-level with his face. He needed an idea. Something to do that could keep his family on their toes, while he deviously plotted and planned out his ideas with each step. Of course, the only way Jake even knew how to describe himself as said above was because Alex had called him deviously clever once. Half the time he hardly knew what he was doing.

      So there he lay, staring at the lined paper in front of him, desperately trying to come up with a relief for his boredom. Just then, inspiration struck him. With a small, outward cackle, eyes gleaming, he reached for his Water Faerie Pencil and began to scribble something on the clipboard. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day...

      Jake had planned a beautiful list of things to do. Now, all he had to do was spend a few Neopoints, buy some props for his acts, and make sure that nothing bad happened, and boom, he’d have the perfect list of ways to torment his siblings. Oh, how he loved his corrupted mind.

     1. Flood the house with a garden hose. Insist that you needed an indoor swimming pool.

      “Good morning!”

      Alex, Shootingtail, Kimble, and Lila all looked up from the table in the main room of their household. Jake stood in the doorway, a garden hose in his paws.

      “Good morning Jak- why do you have a hose?” Alex asked nervously, frowning.

      “Do we want to know?” Kimble sighed, as she sipped her daily glass of orange juice. As Alex had insisted, growing Neopets need their vitamins through fruity-juicy-goodness. In other words, orange juice.

      “You’ll see.” Jake cackled as he cranked the nozzle around the hose.

      Four pairs of eyes widened as Alex, Kimble, Lila, and Shootingtail all screamed, just when a blast of water smacked Alex dead-center in the face. Kind of like how you see it done at Ultimate Bullseye. Only without the sharp, pointy arrows and angry Turtums.

      “JAKE!” Alex screamed through a mouthful of water.

      “Head for the furniture!” Lila gasped, as she waded through knee-deep water towards the kitchen table. Shootingtail was drowning in the center of the room, while Kimble hauled herself onto the Furry Sofa.

      Jake was laughing in that evil way of his, as he finally turned off the hose. Amazingly, the house was managing to hold all the water Jake had sprayed everywhere. Indeed, one could say there was enough water to rival Neopia’s many oceans.

      “What in the name of Meridell are you doing?!” Alex seethed, panting, as she scrambled her water-logged person onto the Pine Finnish Table, dragging Shootingtail along with her.

      “You promised we could get a swimming pool,” Jake whined.

      “Outside, not in the house!” Alex screamed. There was a pause of silence as Alex sighed and bent over to reach for the emergency drain plug embedded into their floor. Just then, all the water drained out to Darigan knew where.

      “Well, at least nothing’s broken!” Kimble piped up brightly.

      Just then, the table Alex was sitting on broke due to the excess amount of weight crushing it.

      “Or not...”

      2.Empty the fridge of all food. When Alex asks what happened to it all, tell her you donated to help fund Dr. Sloth’s next invasion of Neopia.

      “WHERE’S ALL OUR FOOD!” Shootingtail yowled as she stomped angrily into the main room, glaring. Kimble and Lila, who were in the middle of their Kou-Jong game, looked up. Alex stared in dismay, glancing up at Jake, who was slowly backing towards the door.

      “Jake,” Alex inquired.

      “In case anyone asks, I donated all our food for a good cause,” Jake said shiftily, as he pressed himself against the wall.

      “It must be a very good cause for you to have given away all of our food,” Lila growled testily, as she reached for another tile and put the matches down.

      “It was,” Jake answered, a grin spreading across his face.

      “Why do I have the feeling this will result in some type of catastrophic event that will affect every being in Neopia?” Shootingtail asked suddenly.

      Just then, from outside came the screams of terrorized Neopets, followed by a loud, vile voice. “Bow down before me, Doctor Frank Sloth, supreme ruler of Mystery Island, and soon to be the rest of Neopia!”

      “Jake, what exactly did you donate our food to?” Alex asked fearfully, swallowing.

      “Well, if you really want to know, I sold all of it and converted our food into neopoints, which I then gave to Dr. Sloth. He seemed rather pleased,” Jake answered casually, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

      “You know what today is?” Kimble suddenly asked with a gleam in her eyes.

      “No, what?” Jake asked.

      “LUPE HUNTING SEASON!” Kimble screeched, as she charged after him.

      “NO, DON’T HURT ME! I’m an endangered species!” Jake yelped, as he darted out the room with Kimble on his tail.

      3. After Dr. Sloth makes his miraculous escape, barricade the door with all the furniture in the room. Insist that you’re saving them from hoards of Meepits.

      “Hey, Lila, can you give me a hand with the- Ooof!” Alex’s sentence was cut short as she tumbled over the armchair which had been conveniently placed near the hallway.

      “Jake, why is all the furniture in our room crowded in front of the door and the hallways?” Alex inquired, raising a brow in the Lupe’s direction.

      Jake smiled innocently, flicking his tail as he dusted his hands in a proud manor, as if he had just accomplished a difficult task. “I barricaded the door.”

      “I can see that, but why?” Alex asked.

      “You see, on today’s weather forecast it said that there was a fifty percent chance of it raining Meepits.”

      “And this has to do with blocking the door and every hallway because...?”

      “Because the Meepits may seize the opportunity to invade our home when we least expect it!” Jake screamed, suddenly looking insulted. “Are you calling me stupid? This idea is brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! We could all live to see tomorrow just because I may have discovered the cure for Meepit invasions! Do you know how many people are invaded by Meepits - Hey, what are you doing?”

      As Jake had been giving his “grand speech” Alex had slowly been advancing, nostrils flaring, as she glared daggers at him.

      “Meepits are the last thing you’ll have to be worrying about, Jake.”

      Lila, Shootingtail, and Kimble, who had been enjoying the warm sunshine out back in their neogardens, paused from re-planting some flowers as a war cry erupted from somewhere inside their home, followed by laughter.

      “Jake,” they all sighed, and went back to planting.

      4. While everyone is eating, stand on top of the table and start reading Lila’s diary.

      It was lunch now. Alex was glancing around cautiously, as if she expected something to drop from out of nowhere and start wreaking havoc upon them. Shootingtail was chattering happily with Lila, while Kimble looked slightly unnerved. Suddenly, Jake stood up from his chair and jumped onto the table.

      “What’s that you’re holding, Jake?” Shootingtail asked.

      Jake didn’t bother to answer her question as he began to read.

     “Dear Diary,

     I think Kimble may have a slight addiction to sugar. When I went into her room to borrow some nail polish, I noticed how she had candy crammed under her sofa, behind the mirrors, and under the sheet-covered table. So I was tempted to open her drawers. I was instantly flooded with the stuff! Candy! Hoards of it! Brightly wrapped chocolates, sweets, you name it! It was like a treasure trove, no! A sea of candy! Alas, I was buried by the tidal wave, and had to claw my way out of her room. Candy-obsessed Kacheek.

     -Lila.”

      Kimble gasped and shot Lila an annoyed look, while Lila blinked in utter shock.

      “Where did you find my diary? I hid that thing so well that even Jake the Explorer (not Jake my Lupe, but Jake the Kougra) couldn’t have found it!”

      “I found it under your mattress,” Jake answered cheekily. “Now, where was I? Oh, yes.”

      He gave a small cough and flipped the book open to another page.

     “Dear Diary,

     I never noticed before, but when I was reading an article in the Gallery of Heroes, I realized that Armin has the same color eyes as me! And Shootingtail asked me the weirdest question yesterday. She asked me if I obsessed over other Boris. Apparently, she found out I had been reading about him in the Gallery of Heroes. Children! I found this rather embarrassing. Please... It’s not as if I like him! *nervous laugh* He’s cute, in that Puppyblew kind of way, with those big, staring, adorable eyes... Oh, and I found a moldy potato in Alex’s room yesterday.

      -Lila”

      “So that’s where I left my potato!” Alex exclaimed brightly, grinning. Shootingtail and Kimble slowly inched away from their mother, while Lila was fuming angrily her seat. Her white Christmas fur was now an intense red from her current rage and blushing.

      “You have three seconds to run,” Lila spoke in a deadly whisper.

      Gulping, Jake wasted no time in rushing away from the table and out the door, screaming loudly. The table shook as Lila charged after him in hot pursuit. No one dared to speak after that awkward scene.

      Finally, Shootingtail spoke. “I didn’t know Lila liked Armin the Small.”

      “I didn’t know that Lila kept her diary under the mattress,” Kimble said quietly, smiling, as she churred with a soft laughter.

      5. Talk continuously non-stop. Repeat process over and over for the next five hours.

      “Blue, blue, blue. Why is the sky blue? I like cheese! Did you know that a Mazzew’s favorite food is any cheese-based item? I like cheese - cheese makes Neopia go ‘round! There are many Faeries in Neopia. Fyora, Illusen, the Space Faerie, the Soup Faerie, the Negg Faerie, the Tooth Faerie, Psellia, Jhudora, and many other types of faeries, like bottled faeries. I wish I could fly. Some day I’m going to buy all of Neopia and conquer it before Dr. Sloth or the Meepits do, and buy myself a tuxedo. I’d look very dashing in a tuxedo. Why does it rain? Can we go to the Kelp? I’m hungry. Please buy me a new petpet. I want food. You know what? I feel like singing! Lalalalalalaaaaaa!”

      Kimble’s right eye twitched, as she fell to the floor. “Make. It. Stop,” she breathed.

      “Why us?” Lila wailed, as she bashed her head into the wall.

      Alex shot Jake a murderous glare, crawling towards him in a pained fashion, but slumped onto the floor instead. She was getting a terrible headache. As was everyone else in a five-mile radius from their house.

      6. Poke Kimble.

      “Poke.”

      Kimble blinked as she felt a small paw jab her in the back. She ignored in and continued reading How to Deal With Your Psycho Siblings.

      “Poke.”

      There it was again! She bared her teeth and looked up to see Jake stretched out, about to poke her again.

      “Do you mind?!” Kimble blurted out.

      “Nope,” Jake answered, and continued to poke her.

      Kimble groaned loudly, stood, and attempted to swat him over the head with her book. The Baby Lupe gasped and ducked in the nick of time, avoiding what could have been a “lethal” blow. Laughing, he fled down a hall with an angry Kacheek after him.

      7. Flush the toilet while said person is taking a shower.

      Shootingtail purred silkily as she made her way towards the bathtub. It had been a long evening, and now she intended to make the best of it. After a rather annoying dinner, with an odd sort of grudge match between Lila and Kimble, mostly verbal, she had decided to take a shower. Her pelt was getting rather matted and dirty, and she always enjoyed admiring her black and silver fur.

      Smiling, she instantly hopped into the bath and turned on the faucet, which sent water skittering across the bamboo mat that surrounded the tub. Sighing, she buried herself deeper into the bubbles and closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of water pounding against her fur. It felt so refreshing!

      As she breathed out a long sigh and buried herself further into the pool of bubbles, Jake sneakily crept into the room and... SLIP! His paw skidded on a bar of soap that was oh-so conveniently placed on the wooden floor, and he made a long dash into the wall next to several mosaic statues, crashing loudly in the process.

      “What was that?” Shootingtail’s blue eyes snapped open as she poked her head out from behind the shield of bubbles. Nothing out of the ordinary... Maybe one of the Petpets got in... Like David, perhaps. That Mimbi fawns over water, and... I never noticed that statue before.

      There, standing in the corner near the paper lantern, were two statues of Kougras, and an odd-looking Baby Lupe statue as well. It was just plain ugly! It had a hideous, snarling grin that could send the Snowager himself crying for his mommy (which is really saying something!).

      “When did Alex buy that piece of junk? After my shower I’ll throw it out,” Shootingtail decided. Jake had almost been tempted to open his mouth and retort, but instead remained as still as ever. When he was certain Shootingtail had gone back to her shower, rinsing off the veil of bubbles, he crept towards the toilet, grabbed the handle, and... yank.

      “IT’S FREEZING IN HERE!!” an angry Xweetok shrieked, as she poked her head out of the tub. Sitting near the door, laughing, was Jake.

      In five seconds flat, bubbles flew everywhere as Shootingtail body-slammed Jake. Let’s just say that Xweetoks were surprisingly good wrestlers and move on.

      8. Dig holes everywhere in your neohome. Claim that you’re digging for fools gold.

      About two hours later, after the bathroom had been cleaned up and Jake had been bandaged from head to toe, the house was abnormally quiet. Too quiet. Alex found this rather disturbing, and attempted to find a reason why mischief wasn’t being created. As she paced into the main room, about to make herself a snack, the unthinkable happened.

      “AIYEEEEE!”

      Lila’s paws pounded against the floor as she skirted down a hallway towards the desperate scream of her mother, when all of the sudden...

      “MY FOOT!”

      Shootingtail’s eyes widened, as she, too, came toward the sound of help, when all of the sudden...

      “OOF!”

      Now, the last of the siblings came to aid the screams coming from the main room. What is with all this racket? That was the only thought that raced through Kimble’s mind, as she rounded the corner on dappled orange wings, when all of the sudden...

      “What’s with all the holes?” There was an awkward pause of silence as she slowly glanced around. Lying in one of the holes were her sisters and mother, groaning in pain.

      “Would you all cut a Lupe some slack and stop disrupting my work? This is a construction site, after all!”

      Kimble glanced up to see Jake with a yellow helmet on. In one paw was a long shovel, perfect for digging. He had poked his head out of one of the holes, and was now glaring sharply at Kimble. The Kacheek stared at him for several seconds. It was hole city! The room had been turned, literally, into an indoor mine, with holes strewn about the main room.

      “Jake?” Alex had regained mobility, and hoisted herself from one of the pits. Shootingtail, sitting atop Lila’s shoulders, poked her head out as well.

      “What are you doing, Jake?” Alex demanded. “The destruction is going to cost me a fortune to repair!”

      “Don’t you guys know?” Jake was grinning from ear-to-ear, as he slowly crawled out of the hole he was in.

      “Know what?” Lila asked simply, blinking, as she paused to dust off her white fur.

      “Our neohome was built right over an ancient Mystery Island fools gold mine!”

      “YOU’RE THE FOOL!” everyone screamed angrily, slowly advancing on the Lupe. *insert beating noises here*

      9. Disguise an Indoor Geraptiku Fly Trap as a common house plant. Over-feed it and watch it grow. Include sunlight.

      “Wow! What a pretty flower!” Lila gasped, as she prodded a purple flower that had been placed on the table next to the stove. An indoor lighting system had been cleverly placed over the plant, keeping it nice and warm.

      “You like it?” Jake asked as he padded into the room. In one paw was a watering can.

      “I really like it! Wow, Jake, you never told me you were a natural gardener,” Lila murmured, as she stared in admiration at the purple flower.

      “There are some hidden talents that I keep to myself,” Jake replied modestly. “Now, can I please be alone to water my beloved flower...? It needs some more water.”

      “Sure, Jake,” Lila replied cheerfully, waving in farewell as she left the room, oblivious to Jake’s delightedly evil smirk.

      * * * Five minutes later * * *

      “Guys? Has anyone seen my Starry Negg - HOLY KAU! WHAT IN THE NAME OF FYORA IS THAT?!” Kimble screamed as she instantly took refuge behind the Furry Sofa.

      “Kimble-WHAT THE HECK? WE’RE BEING INVADED!” Alex screeched, as she joined Kimble behind the sofa.

      “What’s with all the screaming? Oh... my... is that the...?” Lila’s eyes widened as she promptly fell over and fainted.

      “What’s with all the screaming?” Shootingtail asked, as she poked her head into the room. Her eyes widened and jaw smacked to the floor, as she stared in bewilderment.

      What had caused everyone to gasp, gawk, and tremble in fear was the massive Indoor Geraptiku Fly Trap that had gone through a rather interesting growths burst in nearly five minutes. (Pause! Try to picture an everyday, common, ordinary Indoor Geraptiku Fly Trap under go a height extension and grow about twenty feet. And those teeth, people! How horrific! I hope you can all get a clear image of this carnivorous plant consuming their house.)

      “I see you’ve all met Fluffy,” Jake said, as he casually strolled into the room, looking rather calm compared to his paranoid siblings.

      “Fluffy?” Alex asked.

      “Wha-what the heck i-is that th-thing...?” Shootingtail stammered nervously, crouching even lower in fear.

      “That would be my flower,” Jake replied.

      “That can’t be a common houseplant!” Alex exclaimed.

      “It isn’t,” Jake confirmed. “This is Fluffy, my Indoor Geraptiku Fly Trap.”

      “Jake,” Alex gawked, “you can’t keep that in the house, and, how did it get so...”

      “Big? Well, I kinda gave it a lot of water and sunlight!” Jake replied cheerfully, grinning awkwardly.

      “Jake,” Kimble groaned. “You do know that there is a limit, right? Great... Now I’m going to need to get rid of the dumb thing before it devours the entire house.”

      “I can see that it’s... already eaten the Poinsettia Basket...” Shootingtail stammered, watching the over-fed plant bend over and bite into the red-leafed flower.

      “Awww,” Alex whined. “That was an Advent Calendar gift! Kimble, could you–?”

      “I’m already on it,” Kimble replied, as she fluttered her bright orange wings and instantly took to flight. In a matter of seconds she lunged forward, Maractite dagger at hand, and easily sliced through the stem of the over-grown plant. The Geraptiku Fly Trap howled in pain and collapsed onto the ground, wilting on the floor before them in a very disturbing fashion. It gave a few violent lurches and glared through sightless eyes at Kimble before it finally died.

      “Well, at least we won’t be going hungry for the next three months...” Jake stammered jokingly, slowly backing away towards the secondary hallway.

      There was a loud crashing coming from neohome 131104 Coconut Road, Mystery Island, as an angry Xweetok, Kacheek, and Alex chanted war cries after a mad with laughter Baby Lupe. An unconscious Bori had been dragged to her bed.

      10. (If I make it this far without being skinned of my fur. A/N) Play a Trumpet Of Deafening at Twelve P.M. NST.

      Finally, after another three hours of torment, the household fell silent to peaceful snores and drowsy yawns. It was now a time of sleep; outside, the warm, tropical stars glistened in the skies like smaller, individual suns, revealing many of the constellations that could be seen over the seas of Mystery Island, such as The Hunter, The Rouge Wave, The Volcano, and The Flag Of The Black Pawkeet. This was one of the many reasons why Neopets and people alike came to reside on the Island; because of the peaceful air. At night, the once burning sand came to become glossy cool. The air blew gently, and the trees bowed to match the wind’s songs, almost as if doing the custom native hula dancing that was performed on Mystery Island. The rather peaceful evening might have lasted longer if a certain Baby Lupe hadn’t polished his prized Trumpet Of Deafening at this late hour.

      SCREEEEEEEEEEECH.

      The air boiled as a loud, painful echo filled the rooms with what could be described as sheer agony.

      “What the heck?!” Lila gasped, as she lazily tumbled out of bed and onto the floor, still half-asleep and in a daze.

      “Who goes there!” Kimble instantly shot up from her spooky bed and backed up into the Decorated Artificial Brain Tree. She gave a startled “eep” and spun around, punching the decoration in the plastic branches. Hard. She cringed with pain and covered her long, sensitive ears. She had been having the loveliest dream about candy, too.

      “And I thought Alex was loud when she slept,” Shootingtail complained quietly, as she muttered under her breath while scrambling out of her frost-bitten bed, placing her paws over both ears.

      “Aww, only five more minutes, Sam... Go away...” Alex groaned in her sleep, as she lazily rolled onto her stomach. (Note the drool coming out of the corner of her mouth.) After a few more seconds from the deafening trumpet, realization shook her and she stood, eyes wide, and ran into Jake’s room just as everyone else had.

      All four of them gasped to see a miniature stage set up in the center of the straw room. Jake paused from playing his instrument and grinned at them.

      “Ladies and... Mom,” he began, “I would like to inform you all that for this entire day you got pranked.”

      “Excuse me?” Kimble muttered sleepily.

      “Shocked, I see, as you all should be. I am pleased to announce that you have all been part of an act that I have set up to entertain myself for today. Which worked brilliantly, I may add!”

      “Act?” Alex hissed, fury growing in her olive eyes. “You mean, I went through all the trouble of spending 50,000 neopoints to repair the damages you’ve made today alone, just because you wanted a way to entertain yourself?”

      “Basically,” Jake answered, smiling.

      Eyes narrowed, the four of them advanced on Jake like a pack of hungry, slobbering Meepits, eyes gleaming.

      “I think we’ll have a little ‘girl fun’ with this one,” Lila purred silkily, smirking at Jake.

      “Umm... what are you doing with those ropes? What’s with lipstick, and that vile of pink nail polish, or that... No, no! Anything but the eyeshadow!”

      By the end of the night, the tranquility had returned once again. Three Neopets and their mother were dreamily tucked into bed, while a Baby Lupe dangled upside down from the ceiling, swinging warily back and forth. His face had been swathed in eyeshadow, and his muzzle was smeared with lipstick. Long, Lupe claws had been embedded with horrid pink nail polish, and finally, his fur had been covered in bows and ribbons. Mr. Chuckles would have been proud.

The End

 
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