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Kidnapped By a Wannabe Villain


by animalnutz1993

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Dr. Sloth was angry. Very angry, in fact. Nobody was taking him seriously as a villain anymore! All the comic creators were making comics in the Neopian Times about him being in his underpants or cuddling a teddy bear. Nobody at the Bad Guy Gym was taking him seriously! In the past week, the Ghost Lupe had taped a pair of polka-dotted boxers to Sloth's treadmill, Razul had placed a teddy bear on top of Sloth's weights, and Vira had painted his locker pink!

     In his fury, Sloth resulted into doing what he did to channel out his anger: he got out his crayons and drew diabolical plans with his bear, EvilSnuggler. That made him feel a little better; that is, until one of his assistant Grundos came running into his office with some bad news.

     "Sir," he gasped, waving the newspaper. "She's done it again. She's called you a green chicken again."

     "AGAIN?? Arggh!" Sloth crumpled his paper and snatched the Times, unfolding it and darting his eyes across the page, his ruby-red eyes getting narrower after every line. "She also called me immature! Idiot writer…do you know what you are, animalnutz?!" Sloth threw down the paper and shouted to the ceiling. "You're nothing but a poopie-head!!"

     He hunched up his shoulders and crossed his arms. "I'll show her," he muttered. "Somehow I'll get back at her…but how?" he picked up the newspaper again and pondered. "Oh, I know…" he smiled with his pointed teeth. "I'll kidnap one of her Neopets and turn it into a Virtupet!"

     And Sloth came up with a brilliant plan to pick out which pet he would kidnap from that innocent writer that only spoke the truth. He went to the writer's lookup, closed his eyes, and pointed randomly. He opened his eyes and he was pointing at a Brown Uni.

     "Right," he said, satisfied. "We strike tomorrow morning! But first I need to do my evil laugh! Ahem: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

~*~

     Sloth had very precise instructions for his minions on how to capture the writer's Uni. He wanted her blindfolded before she could see the Grundos and put two and two together. He wanted her stuffed in a bag and flown back to the Space Station. He wanted them to open the bag and roll her out of it before him while he looked sinister and he wanted her blindfold removed just then so that she could gasp in horror at his sight and whisper his name in fear. What he GOT was a little different.

     You see, the Grundos did everything Sloth told them to do, but Wintria didn't. As the Uni tumbled out of the burlap bag, she said indignantly, "Hey, watch it!"

     "Hello, lowly Neopian," said Sloth in a mocking sticky-sweet voice. "You are animalnutz's daughter, are you not?"

     "Yeah, and who wants to know?" asked Wintria defiantly. It was then that a Grundo untied her blindfold and she could see her captor. But instead of gasping in horror like Sloth had wanted, she only gained a look of indifference.

     "Oh," she said in a bored tone. "It's only you. Well, look at it this way, Wintria," she said to herself. "At least you weren't kidnapped by a REAL villain."

     "Whaddaya mean?" asked Sloth defensively. "I'M a villain! I have lasers, see? I have evil plans, see? I even have my own maniacal laugh! Listen: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

     "Dude, your lasers look like something out of a cartoon, your 'evil plans' are drawn in crayon, and your maniacal laugh sounds like my Angelpuss on Bath Day."

     Sloth grunted. This sure wasn't what he was expecting! "We'll see how cocky you are after a day or two in my dungeon while I prepare my VirtupetCoolZapper9000!"

     "You came up with the name for that thing yourself, didn't you?"

     "Shut up. Men, take her to the dungeon!" Sloth ordered.

     "Okay, Sloth, whatever," Wintria rolled her eyes as she was led to the dungeons. Sloth decided to tag along, since he was bored. Once they were down in the dungeons one of the Grundos moved to open one of the button-operated doors.

     "No! Not that-" Sloth cried out, but it was too late. The door was open, and he, Wintria and the two Grundos were gazing into a room with pink walls and a purple carpet, with plushies and Usukis everywhere. In the corner was a small table with a plastic tea set sitting on it.

     "What is that?" asked Wintria, smirking.

     "Nothing," said Sloth swiftly, quickly pressing the button and closing the door.

     They moved to a different cell with bars instead of a shiny metal door. One of the Grundos unlocked the cell and Sloth growled, "Get in, before my men make you!"

     "If you insist," said Wintria sarcastically, walking into the cell. Sloth pouted; he wanted to see her dragged in! The Grundo closed the door and locked it. Sloth took this opportunity to leer at Wintria through the bars.

     "I'll Virtupet-ize you tomorrow," he said sinisterly.

     "Whatever," said Wintria, gazing out the window at endless space. Sloth grunted and stomped off to work on his VirtupetCoolZapper9000.

~*~

     The next day when Sloth came by to pick up his victim, what he saw made his jaw drop. She and the guard were playing Cellblock!

     "What is this?" cried out Sloth indignantly. The Grundo guard jumped up.

     "Forgive me, sir," he implored. "But she tempted me so that I just couldn't resist! She called me a s-er, I mean, she called me a Peadackle!"

     "That's not what I called you," corrected Wintria. "I called you a Sloth." The Grundo winced.

     "WHAT???" roared Sloth. He couldn't believe it; he was being compared to a Peadackle! He snatched Wintria from the table and glared at the Grundo. "I'll deal with you later," he growled. And with that he pushed Wintria to the Zap Room.

     "Zap Room," Wintria read the sign on the door. "I'm guessing you came up with the name for that one, too."

     "Ooh, so smart-mouthy!" Sloth stamped his foot. The door opened and Wintria was strapped to a metal chair. Pointing at the metal chair was a big laser with lots of light bulbs and buttons on it.

     "Ooh, scary," Wintria rolled her eyes.

     "All right, men," Sloth positioned himself at the controls. "When I flip this switch, we'll see Neopia minus one smart aleck!" his eyes flashed and he took the chance to laugh maniacally.

     "MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

     And he flipped the switch. Nothing happened. The light bulbs didn't blink and the buttons didn't flash. "What happened?" pouted Sloth.

     "Dude, you forgot to plug it in," pointed out Wintria. Sloth turned and saw the spark plug lying next to the outlet.

     "Hmph," he grunted as he plugged it in. "Now let's try this again: MUAHAHAHAHA!!!"

     But before he could flip the switch, a shrill elderly voice rang through the vast room.

     "Frankie-kins!" it called. Sloth turned pale and looked like he wanted to hide under the control panel. Waddling from the door was a woman, if you could call her that. She was stout and plump and had green, wrinkly skin, spectacles, and short, curly gray hair. Wiping her hands on her apron, she simpered, "Frankie, I just finished baking chocolate chip cookies - your favorite!"

     "Mother!" whined Sloth. "Can't you see I'm busy??"

     Mrs. Sloth glanced around and her eyes fell on Wintria. "Oh, why, hello there!" she smiled pleasantly. "What's your name?"

     "Hi, Mrs. Sloth, I'm Wintria," the Uni grinned.

     "Well, nice to meet you, Wintria," gushed the woman, beaming. "It's so nice when Frankie-kins has friends over to play pretend with! Can I get you two or Frankie's Grundos anything? Cookies? Some juice?"

     "No thank you, Mother," prompted Sloth. "Do you mind? I'm busy."

     "All right, I'll leave you alone. It was nice meeting you, Wintria," called Mrs. Sloth as she left. As soon as the door was closed, Wintria burst into laughter and said, "She seems nice."

     "It's not funny!" said Sloth defensively. "If she ever finds out it's not pretend, she'll take away my teddy- uh, I mean, my spaceship."

     Quite relieved that there would be no more interruptions, Sloth tried again.

     "MUAHAHAHAHA!"

     But alas, once again they were interrupted. The door was opened once more and the Space Faerie and Wintria's family came pouring in.

     "I think you've done enough, Frankie," said the Space Faerie coolly.

     "Aww, you never let me have any fun, Sara!" complained Sloth. Apparently, the Space Faerie's name was Sara. "Ever since I tried to steal everyone's cookies in kindergarten, you've always ruined my plans!"

     "And I'm not going to stop today," said Sara briskly as she un-strapped Wintria.

     "Okay, that's it!" fumed Sloth. "I've had it! What a rotten week! I'm going to my room to draw diabolical plans with my teddy!"

     As Sloth stomped off, Wintria's sister Double A turned to her. "And you were actually stuck with THAT guy for a day and a half? How in Neopia did you survive? It must have been SO boring."

     "Well," said Wintria as they began to walk to the hangar that would take them back to Neopia. "Somehow I made it."

The End

 
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