Freaky Fishing: What We're REALLY Reeling In
MARAQUA - We've all been to the Underwater Fishing Cavern. We've watched as our
pets cast their lines into the murky water and have seen the disappointment on
their faces when they reel in another piece of kelp and the joy when they get
an actual fish.
But have we really taken a good look at what we're reeling in on our
fishing lines? Have we examined the fish we catch and feed to our pets and
the kelp that coats our yards? Well, this reporter has, and is more then a little
freaked out by what she's found.
The Water Fish
"How does it even exist?"
I think the name explains itself. The fish is made of water. Imagine:
you're swimming along in the waters of Maraqua and you see this pair of floating
eyes. You would never know if you were swimming through them either...
I also have a few questions involving vital organs, but I'm not entirely sure
I want an answer to those.
The Bread Fish
"Goes great with butterfish."
I have to admire the Bread Fish. All of that time in the water, but it never
Small Giant Squid
"How can a giant squid be small?"
My initial thoughts were along the lines of the description: "How can it be
a small giant squid? Isn't that an oxymoron? Well, it shouldn't be any problem."
Of course, my pets and I overlooked the fact that it still is a giant
squid. Three lost fishing rods, one traumatizing experience, and a four day
hospital visit later, here we are, all of us now very respectful of all things
Molten Borovan Rod
"DANGER! DO NOT HANDLE!"
Well if I can't handle it, how are my pets supposed to use it in the Battledome?
How am I even supposed to get it off my line? And how did something molten get
all the way down here? Too many questions with no answers...
Golden Meepit Statue
"The award for best Meepit goes to..."
*stares* Shiny... what? Oh, yea, I'm supposed to be focusing... Okay, Meepit
Statue: it either means top secret Meepit Civilization in the caves, or there
is one seriously mad Meepit wondering who threw his trophy in the water.
Lesser Spotted Fish
"Where's the greater spotted fish?"
I agree with the description. Where's the Greater Spotted Fish? And how much
greater is it? Not like Titanic Giant Squid size, right? Right? Hello?
Great, now I have to worry about getting eaten by a giant polka-dotted fish.
And people keep trying to tell me how relaxing fishing is...
"Oh... joy... fish."
It's... uh... bland? *mutters to editors* Well how am I supposed to come up
with something interesting for a Blandfish. It's a Blandfish. You're
not giving me much to work with...
"Wow! A mossy rock!... Wow!!"
Admittedly, it doesn't come off as very impressive, but I am curious as how
it managed to get hooked on my line. It's a rock: it can bite my line, or catch
on the hook, so how does it... you know... *makes lots of random hand gestures
to try and convey point*... Yes, yes, everyone laugh at the crazy girl who's
confused by rocks...
Titanic Giant Squid
Uh... I'm pretty sure we all know where I stand on squids. *backs away slowly*
"Why is there so much of this floating around underwater?"
Driftwood itself isn't that strange. But when the last time you saw a tree
or anything else wood could have come off of in Maraqua? They tend to stick
to kelp in the underwater landscaping, so where does the wood come from? Skyler's
trying to convince me that there's a magical world of wood somewhere in the
caves, where little wood people frolic and play with their little wood pets.
He's rather adamant about this theory, but I think he just wanted me to mention
his name in the Neopian Times.
"Eating this can cause... unpleasant side effects."
Well, if you aren't already staying away from it (It is called a Doomfish,
people) I'm not sure I can really help you. But I do wish you the best of luck
with apocalyptic battle with the evil fish...
Fish Scale Breastplate
"It protects well, but ugh, the stench."
I wonder if it's really worth using. Yeah, I'm sure it DOES protect well, but
your pet would probably be mocked so badly due to the stench, your Battledome
victory won't be nearly as sweet.
"It just keeps going, forever and ever and ever..."
I'm sorry; my mind has imploded from the sheer magnitude of it. *twiddles thumbs*
Bag of Broken Neopoints
"If only there was someway to repair these broken Neopoints."
I'm just curious on how you can break Neopoints. To see if it is indeed possible,
my pets and I took a bag of Neopoints and proceeded to beat the tar out of them.
And it wasn't until we brought in a giant laser did any of them break. (Actually,
they pretty much disintegrated, but you get my point) So someone really wanted
to break those Neopoints before they chucked them in the sea.
Giant Green Kelp
"Pretty, but too tough to chew."
This might actually be normal, I mean we are underwater. And that's normally
where you find kelp... But there has to be SOMETHING wrong with it!!! AHHHH!!!!
Obelisk of Doom
"No one knows what kind of doom this obelisk will bring, but it's got Hubrid
on it, so it will be a nasty kind of doom."
As opposed to the other kind of doom? How many kinds of doom are there? Is
there a happy doom? Like with frolicking Petpets of Death or something. "Oh,
they want to kill us, but they're just so darn cute."
Rusty Old Can
"Oh, this is useful."
Move over, unlabeled tin can! The rusty old can is here to stay!
Well, there you have it. I would think these possible catches are reason enough
to stay away from the Underwater Fishing Cavern, but I know most all of us will
go back tomorrow. There's something addicting about that cave... Oooh, I sense
Anyway, I hope this article will help you take precautions to stay safe and
squid-free while fishing. Or you could just use it as stuffing in your petpet
bed. Whichever works best for you.