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Roomful of Jelly


by literalluau

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So who are you exactly? Are you more of a marble person or a white chocolate person? Do you prefer jelly to asparagus? Sand to brick? A neohome should reflect who you are. Each room should have its own identity. Before you start running around screaming about which bed would best suit your Baby Pteri, you have a much bigger, much more permanent decision to make. What will you use to build your neohome?

There are a variety of options available to the home-buying Neopian. In fact, with all those choices in front of you, you may have a hard time deciding whether your living room would look better build out of cloud or gold. What should your bathroom be built out of? (Though I wouldn't suggest transparishield.) To keep your brain from imploding at all the decisions that lie in front of you, I have composed a short blurb about each material, describing the pros and cons of each.

Okay. First things first. Open up that coinpurse. What's in there? Neopoints? Dubloons? Blandfish? So that's what stinks! To preserve the feelings of less fortunate (or less crazy) Neopians, I have divided the materials into three sections. Simply find the heading that describes your financial (or sanity) level and go from there.

150-500 NP (per room). I don't have two neopoints to rub together.

So you're poor, eh? Maybe neopoints just don't mean that much to you? Never fear, there are options so that you can keep a roof over your neopets' heads!

Cardboard: Okay. The cheapest building material at 150 NP per room is cardboard. That's the pro. Have you ever seen a soggy old box? Yes? Imagine living in one. Moving on.

Straw: Straw, at 250 NP per room, is a very good insulator, and if you make it thick enough, it can protect you from the rain. It would also make your roof a very good place for Kadoaties and Warfs to nest. Just ask the folk in Meridell and Brightvale. They know what I'm talking about.

Twigs: 300 NP per room. I'm not sure how you could ever get enough twigs together, but I guess that wouldn't be your problem. Call it the cheap alternative to wood.

Bamboo: I guess in this case it depends on whether this is dead bamboo or live bamboo. If it's alive, just beware that bamboo grows very quickly and soon the top of your house may be in the clouds. Of course, especially if you live in Faerieland, this could be exactly what you want. 400 NP per room.

Wood: 500 NP per room. Very traditional. Wood is a common (and some would say boring) building material. It looks nice and sells at a reasonable price. If you live in Maraqua, however, you may want to reconsider. In fact, looking back on these building materials, if you live in Maraqua, you had better be rich.

650-4000 NP (per room). My pets don't like jelly and omelettes.

Ah, the Neopian who knows the value of his/her neopoints. You're not going to make your pets live in a soggy old box, but you know that the Drackonack is bound to tear up some walls here and there.

Chocolate: 650 NP per room. Do you really think you can live in a chocolate house without eating a hole through the wall? On the other hand, it could come in handy for battles of wit. Your friend says, "Well, I have a Darigan Paint Brush," and you can say, "Oh yeah? Well, I built my house out of chocolate."

Jelly: So that's where all those discarded jellies go! Now, if you want to build your home out of jelly, I completely respect that. What's cooler than a jelly neohome? Plus, you won't need any doors; you can just push through the jelly and come on in! You must make sure that the builders don't try to use poison or glowing jelly, though. I know, I know. Glowing jelly looks cool, but believe me, making trips to the Healing Springs Faerie every time your pet walks in the house is not. 700 NP per room.

Stone: Perfect for those who like to hear themselves echo…echo…echo. Not so perfect for those who enjoy warmth and comfort. 800 NP per room.

Brick: Not only for throwing at annoying people, but also for building! Twice as expensive as wood, but makes for twice the homey feeling. 1000 NP per room.

White Chocolate: Not recommended for those who live on Mystery Island. Melted white chocolate may be tasty, but also gooey and disastrous when stuck in the fur of your pet's Mutant Bearog. Pro? It makes wonderfully beautiful patterns for your walls…if you can restrain yourself from eating them. 1200 NP per room.

Marble: Oooh, getting pretty fancy, are we? The best thing about marble is you can slide around on it in your socks and pretend that you are ice skating, even if you live on Krawk Island. And if you get some butter and spread it all over the floor, you can double the fun! 1500 NP per room. Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any damage this may cause to your pet, your petpets, or any property to belong to you or the aforementioned parties.

Silver: Silver is a fine choice at 1500 NP per room. You may have to get some cool shades to protect your eyes from the shininess of the silver as it reflects off itself in the sunlight. For a cool effect, hang a silver disco ball in your living room and watch the twinkling lights for hours.

Cloud: If you can get this material to work in Maraqua, I applaud you. Other than that, living on a cloud is bound to make you feel better…unless, of course, the cloud is raining. But you could go around making clever clichés such as, "I'm walking on cloud nine!" Also, watch out for stray faeries who may think your cloud is a good place to live. The nerve of some people. 4000 NP per room. Expensive cloud.

7500-65000 NP (per room!) All my neopoints have made me crazy.

I see that you have an eye (and the neopoints) for the bizarre, the awesome, and the just plain weird. Well, drop some neopoints into the donations box and let's move on. What? Oh, you're rich, not stupid? So you won't be dropping any neopoints into my donation box that looks suspiciously like a coinpurse? Okay then. Be that way.

Gold: Well, let's not worry about introduction. It stands to reason that gold would be 7500 NP per room. Be very wary of strangers with chisels, though. Many would be more than willing to take some of that gold off your hands. Also another opportunity to buy some gold shades. But remember, all that glitters is not gold.

Transparishield: Well, I think the cons of this material are quite obvious. I mean, who wants their neighbors to see them dancing the tango with their plushies in the kitchen? That's just embarrassing. Pros for this…ummm….well…I'll get back to you. Not worth the 14500 NP per room.

Ice: Don't spill your cup of hot borovan on the floor! Best to build with this in Happy Valley. Wouldn't want to spend 30000 NP per room just to have it all melt away.

Asparagus: Speaking of Borovan. Now you know that all the asparagus in Neopia belongs to Adam. So if you built your home out of asparagus, wouldn't your house technically belong to Adam? That could be a setback. On the other hand, how cool would a house made of asparagus be? 60000 NP per room. Well, what do you expect? You are building with Adam's asparagus.

Sand: 65000 NP per room. The most expensive building material of them all, probably because it's so hard to get to stay in one place. You show off. Besides, have you no compassion for all the innocent pets that got turned into piles of sand during the most recent Lost Desert war? Although, I have to admit, living in a real live sand castle would be pretty cool. And you could decorate it with huge shells. Not recommended for those living in the Lost Desert. How would you ever find your house?

If, after reading about all your options here, you still don't know what to do (or you think having your entire house built out of the same material is boring), you could do what I do. Every room in my neohome is made from a different material. That way, every room has a personality that matches its purpose. Rec room? Jelly. Family room? White chocolate. It's really up to you. Your neohome is an expression of yourself. And now all you have to do is pick out furniture! What? Where are you going? Did I say something wrong?!

 
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