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The 600 Million Neopoint Question


by pugnaciousilliterate

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I’m sure a number of you, on your daily escapades around Neopia, take part in the rude but oh-so-addicting game of Test Your Strength. Those who do, I’m sure, have noticed the alarming number of neopoints that is queuing in that bow-tie-wearing Mynci’s jackpot. Every time I go up to play the game, my mind is always bombarded with incredible images of what I’m going to do when I’m going to win that jackpot. And that’s just it, it’s not a matter of “if” I’ll win, it’s a matter of “when” I’ll win. The fate that tempts me to write articles is drooling over the fact that the jackpot has reached nearly 600 million neopoints – quite a staggering amount!

Taking this self-centered egotistical notion that I’ve arrived, I’d like to compose an interesting article that dwells in the fancy of you winning the gigantic jackpot. So here it is folks, another Inconspicuous guide – The 600 million-neopoints question.

Doing Nothing

Ah yes, the number one thing you can do to annoy everyone in Neopia is to do absolutely nothing with your gigantic sum of neopoints that you have luckily stumbled across. Your name, which will be proudly displayed on the High Score Charts, will confuse – and anger – everyone who will go to look at your lookup to drool over your marvelous pets, gallery, trade, neohome, trophies, guilds etc. However, if you want to play Pant Devil’s advocate, that exact opposite, and most logical, thing for you to do is just to lock it up nice and tight in the bank, and go about your daily business. Forget about it. After three months, you’ll forget you even won!

Invest it all in ONE stock

Ah yes, the stock market. The wonderful little place where Neopians can lose neopoints faster than they can say: “sell.” So, I urge the lucky winner of this jackpot to go out and buy a stock - 600 million neopoints worth. Think of the potential! Not only could you double your earnings (while watching your stock rise slowly through out the months), but you could also watch it plummet to its demise! POOF! No more neopoints, no more worry! Warning: I would advise contacting a physician before taking any risks in the stock market. I’m not liable – you can contact me through my Lawyerbot. * shifty eyes *

Ride the merry-go-round

Nothing makes a pet happier than a jaunt on the merry-go-round on Roo Island. The breeze running through our fur, the happy laughter of children, and the squeaky sounds of an unoiled death trap does wonders for our self-esteem. If you come across gobs and gobs of neopoints, why not treat your neopets? Take them out for a day (or a week, or a month, or a year) and spend it on the merry-go-round! Rounding up, because I’m absolutely horrible at Math, if you win 600 million neopoints, and a trip around the merry-go-round costs fifty neopoints per spin, that’s 12,000 rides! Just think of how HAPPY your pets would be! (Note to self – change neohome address and start living under an assumed name after this article is published.)

Tempt the Tax-Beast/Pant Devil/Ghosts/Anything else evil looking to steal your “hard earned” points

You evil, evil person you. Why would you even consider this option? Leaving all of that currency floating around tempting every evil being of Neopia. Why you yourself deserve center spotlight in the gallery of evil! I guess if you go through with this harrowing endeavor, you earn the right to cackle evilly whenever a ghost decides to steal a measly 100 neopoints.

Pull the Lever of DOOM

If you play Test Your Strength, chances are that you are compelled by bright, shiny objects. If you haven’t been introduced to the Lever of DOOM, I suggest that you go and visit as soon as you collect your neopoints. Not only does it satisfy your curiosity, but you also can do it again, and again, and again, and again in hopes that the lever of doom will A) give you an avatar or B) stop punching your poor pet in the stomach!

Lab Ray/Petpet Lab Ray

One word: Zzzzaaaap!

Identity Crisis

Are you, or your pet(s), confused about who/what they are? Not sure what color looks best on you? Well, now you have the neopoints to spend! Go out, buy every color paintbrush, and have a painting frenzy! I’m positive that you will find the perfect color! Huzzah! No more faux-pas about wearing white after Lenny Day – with this much currency, who cares?!

Scratchcard Frenzy

You + Addiction = Lots of money spent.

600 NP + Addiction/600 million neopoints = Disaster.

Buy the other side of Neopia

The only reason why the general public has yet to see the other side of Neopia is because TNT has horrible real estate agents. They fail to realize that the Real Estate bubble cannot last forever, and keep holding out on selling, thinking that they can get a better offer. If you are the winner of the jackpot, please put TNT out of their misery and make an offer. They deserve it. And just think what you can do with all that land. Marshmallow World, anyone?

Collect Meaningless/Worthless stuff

Fellow sand collectors, hide no more! If you win this jackpot you can partake in the ultimate collecting. Just think about all of that sand. You can create your own beach, island, or utopian paradise! And to gain all of that money back after you spent it, you can talk to TNT’s real estate agents. They’ll buy anything.

Buy stuff for me!

And last, but certainly not least, if you are having trouble deciding what to spend your hard earned neopoints on, do not fret, little one. Just bundle it up in nice little packages (like a Royal Paintbrush, codestones, or books) and zip them over to me, Inconspicuous.

Uh… maybe not, my owner seems to be reading over my shoulder, and judging by the whack to the head, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. *whispers * Shh, if you use the trading post, she will never know. *shifty eyes *

So, erm, anyway…

Playing Test Your Strength every six hours is tough on the heart. Every time I pick up that mallet I dream of what I can accomplish will all of that dough. I think of things that would interest me, my fetishes, and what my siblings might enjoy. And this article makes me wonder if now is the good time to go ahead and get into the real estate business, I really do think I can turn a profit.

Anyway, Neopia, this is Inconspicuous signing off on another interesting article. You keep on reading, and I’ll keep on writing.

 
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