Typing Terror Madness: a Guide
I love to write. More to the point, I like to type. And so the newest game
from the programming geniuses at the Neopets headquarters is like a dream come
true. I am horribly horrible at games but I can definitely type. And so can
you! Here I have put together a few tips that will help you defeat those mindless
drones and their big boss, Clockwork Grundo.
The game starts like this; You, the innocent, overworked and underpaid Grundo
are sitting in the Space Station when a hole is blown in the docking bay doors.
In comes a freakish array of clockwork Grundos with words printed on them. With
your amazing skill you must type the words to trigger an explosion that will
free you of the menace. The levels become increasingly harder as words are put
upside down and the Grundos begin to walk faster. If the glass separating you
from space is hit three times you’re toast. So don’t get hit!
Tip One. Practice!
I don’t believe in practice makes perfect, but practice can definitely make
you better and TT is no exception. I guess the programmers understand that,
because they’ve given us something wonderful; a training level! The Grundos
come endlessly and give you a chance to limber up your fingers, and get in the
mood for typing up a storm. I practice for about three to five minutes before
I actually attempt the first level. The training level is also a good stress
reliever. Assign the Grundo hordes the names of people who are annoying you.
It helps! Not that I would know, of course… I’m a very nice person.
Tip Two. Concentration!
Ever try to work on homework while a family member was making a racket? It’s
impossible (and I should know *grumble*) and keeps your mind wandering. It’s
important to stay focused, and while TT is not as important as homework *sigh*
it still requires your attention. That means make sure you don’t have the sound
up too high, and that you won’t be bugged by your little sister (or spouse,
or children) in the next ten or so minutes. Pop-ups, by the way, spell doom.
Disable them if possible.
Tip Three. Time!
This goes hand in hand with “Concentration.” If you’re smart you try not to
start a project five minutes before you have to go shopping. It’s just not fun,
and you won’t do as well because you’ll be interrupted. It takes me about six
minutes to get to level four but may take more or less time for you. Clock yourself
to see, and plan that time.
Tip Four. Accuracy!
You get 200 pts for 100 percent accuracy, 198 pts for 99 percent accuracy and
on down the list. While accuracy is not the MOST important thing, it sure is
important. After all you only get 25NP for every 100 pts scored. The better
the accuracy, the more points you’ll end up with. The best way to improve accuracy
is to know your way around the keyboard. If you can’t remember where the “Q”
is, or you keep getting “G” and “H” mixed up it’s time to refresh your typing
skills. Sometimes your hand does slip, so try not to be a perfectionist and
just move on.
Tip Five. Quick Thinking!
You have to be thinking constantly in this game; if two Grundos come out and
you hit “L” instead of “J” you’ll have to be paying enough attention to notice
that you’ve triggered a different Grundo. If five of the menaces come out, you
have to instantly pick out the closest one, or the one that poses the biggest
threat. It’s a bit difficult to get used to but a lot of fun to know you can
respond so quickly. As the levels progress the Grundos move faster and faster
towards your control booth so note this, and type better. Not faster, which
leads to mistakes, but better.
Tip Six. Speed!
I know what you’re thinking. Actually, not really, but I’m making an educated
guess. You’re thinking, well duh. It’s about time you mentioned speed. I wanted
you to know about the other aspects of the games before I told you about speed.
How quickly you can type is very important but be sure that as you type faster
and faster that you do not become clumsy. Making too many mistakes can set you
back a great deal, and you’ll suddenly find you have seven Grundos approaching
you with really long words printed on them!
Tip Seven. Enjoy Yourself!
I have yet to win a trophy, even though I adore this game and am a pretty fast
typist. But for me, that’s beside the point… I play this game to have fun and
maybe earn some much needed Neopoints. So whatever your motivation make sure
that you have a good time. Who wouldn’t want to spend their days destroying
mutilated Grundos for imaginary money and pixel trophies? At least you’ll have
a good excuse. “Hey (insert family member here)! I’m practicing typing!”
Hint! There will never be apostrophes, dashes or caps lock needed.
Hint! Attack the closest Grundo first, not the word that’s easier to spell.
Hint! Words are not always spelled correctly. For instance, I had the word
“TRIPPS” on a Grundo and lost accuracy because I tried to spell trips. Be careful!
Hint! Although I’m sure you figured it out if you’ve played at least once,
some of the words are not “real” words. Or rather, they exist but are rarely
used in the English language. Beware of these. They throw you off quickly.
Hint! Once you get on in the game some of the clockwork Grundos are red, and
look beaten up. These words are often harder to type and appear upside down
Hopefully my modest little guide has helped, and with any luck (hopefully not
MY luck) you’ll have earned a few more Neopoints, and learned how to manage
those tricky clockwork Grundos.
Or you could always go play Gormball. People tell me it’s easier.