The Chias of Furgleton loved Halloween.
But no one loved it more than Jade P. Pumpernickel, or as most pets called her,
the Goddess of Annoyance. She was a Halloween Chia, and like most Halloween
Chias, was usually seen in an outfit quite similar to Edna's. The only exception
Jade has was an unusually playful, frightening smile, a bright yellow flower
stuck onto her chest, which squirted other pets with various different liquids,
and a slight case of dementia.
Jade was the most well known practical joker
and scavenger in the entire city. Her shelves were stocked with toilet paper,
her refrigerator with rancid eggs. Flies trapped in ice cubes were in every
dribble glass, and posters of the infamous Chia Clown dotted the walls. Jade
was infatuated with him, and there wasn't a single room in her vast, booby-trapped
house without his picture in it.
The Goddess of Annoyance had many victims. One
was the Mailchia, who always dreaded entering her territory to deliver the terrible
joke books she ordered from the book shop. Another was Officer Abernathy, the
cop, who she loved to agitate with fake gifts to 'Make up for the last joke
But her favourite victim was a Chia who lived
down the road on 1999 Main Street, who studied those odd creatures called Lupes.
Jade wasn't particularly fond of the Lupes who
lived in Lupe Forest, a community near Furgleton. Not because they had grudges
against Chias and vice versa, but because she thought they didn't have much
of a sense of humour. A Christmas Lupe to whom she had given an exploding cigar
chased her until sundown, yelling death threats. And a stink bomb in a skunk
Lupe's home didn't seem to affect him much at all.
But the Chia that studied them was definitely
the best target in the whole city. Oblivious, patient, quiet, reclusive, and
definitely susceptible. And he was kind of cute in Jade's standards, with his
adorable round glasses and white lab coat. Jade had a bit of a liking for him.
But she also had meaningless crushes on many other pets that quickly passed,
like her brief adoration of Florg and Count Von Roo.
The Chia's name was Al. And, Jade decided on
a cold October night, he would be her ultimate victim for Halloween...
Jade smiled a dark, evil smile as she stood
in Al's lawn, her face glowing with childish delight.
"Hm...how shall I tinker with your head tonight,
She looked into her inventory, which hung on
a tool belt around her waist. Many different items that smelled and looked funny
or terrifying hung there, and Jade, being the indecisive Chia she was, couldn't
decide what to use.
"Shall I douse your house with rancid eggs and
milk, glue rubber spiders into your hair? No, I'll pour all three down your
She snickered at the thought for a moment.
"Nah...too easy...I'll do something else."
Jade picked up the sticky hand, twirling it
around in the air. With a rubbery snap, it shot across the yard and slapped
onto the blue roof of Al's house. Jade tugged on it several times. It held firm,
as it always did. She pulled back several feet, stretching the 'arm' of her
sticky hand as far as possible. With a giggle, she jumped into the air, letting
it snap back. The hand pulled her forward, right over Al's lawn and onto his
roof, where she landed with a sweep of her cape. She got down onto all fours,
crawling across the roof like a Wadjet slithering across the ground, her plastic
sword in her mouth and her eyes gleaming.
"All right then, Al! Time to play a little game!"
The demented Chia first tied the uni mask onto
her face. Then, she picked up a bundle of rubber spiders, dipping them in the
rancid milk. She filled a sock with flour and itching powder, and after this,
she looped the long sticky rope of the rainbow hand around her waist several
times. She hopped off the roof with a swan dive, dangling in front of Al's open
window like the spider Grundo.
"HEY AL!!" She cackled through the mask. "TRICK
Al barely had time to react as Jade bashed him
across the face with the sock. It burst open, and rubber spiders covered with
itching powder and flour flew all over the place. The carpet was ruined by the
blast of powder, but most of it stuck onto the unfortunate Lupologist. A cloud
of dust filled the air, and Al coughed and gagged, fanning the air with his
hands. Jade took the opportunity to pull herself into the house, kicking him
in the bum and springing back outside with the help of her elastic bond before
he could retaliate.
"PIFFLE!! PIFFLE!! PIFFLE!!" Al yelled, collapsing
onto the floor and itching himself.
Jade giggled, springing back onto the roof with
a twang as her victim tried to collect himself. He dashed to the open window
to get fresh air, gasping for breath and scratching his back.
"It's that Annoyance again!"
He wiped rancid milk and rubber spiders off
his face and stuck his head out the window, unusually upset.
"JADE!! I AM UPSETTED BY YOUR SHOW OF IMMATURITY,
AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT IMPRESSED!"
Three rancid eggs fell onto Al's hair at once,
drenching him in slime. His expression was similar to the face of a sick Jubjub
after drinking a quart of lemon juice.
One more egg landed on Al's face before Jade
zoomed off the roof of his house, toilet paper scattering all over his lawn
as she merrily skipped over the white fence and down the street.
Another successful prank...
Al sighed as he shuffled down the road in his
Werelupe costume. It was handmade (pawmade in Al's case), and consisted of a
shaggy black coat, a body suit of brown, shaggy fur, and a set of plastic fangs.
He had focused greatly on his costume this year, and had even put contacts into
his eyes that turned them deep scarlet (although he still had to wear his glasses.)
Fluffy, his blue Cobrall, slithered closely
behind him, going as the Snowager (which didn't require much help other than
a terrifying mask).
Al blinked as he finally stopped at the front
door of Stenchpaw Lupaire's house, looking around with wide eyes.
Stenchpaw the skunk Lupe went all out for his
Halloween Party. He had set up small Halloween pet rocks all over his lawn,
which was covered in fog from a machine hidden somewhere, and his dung house
had strobe lights glittering from all the upper windows. Even his mutant Meekins,
Marius, had played a role, although he didn't need much help for being scary.
Snarling and scratching, he snapped at Al as he passed. The Lupologist knew
that a chain restrained the fierce petpet, but he still couldn't help but feel
a little paranoid as those glowing red eyes gleamed at him.
Al could hear screams and evil laughter from
speakers hidden in the glass rose bushes, and cobwebs decorated the dung house's
usually clean porch. He admired the decoration as he rang the doorbell. Instead
of the usual ding-dong, there was a loud werelupe howl that sent a shiver down
his spine. The door was opened with dramatic slowness to reveal Stenchpaw the
odorous skunk Lupe, dressed as a pale, vicious vampire.
"Ah, it ith being very nith for you to be being
Stenchpaw's already funny accent was made worse
with his fake fangs. He bared them and hissed, doing a pretty fair impression
of Count Von Roo as he swept his black cape around. Al, however, could strongly
smell garlic that proved his costume wrong.
"Ugh...Stenchpaw, vampires really don't like
"They are not being?" Stenchpaw frowned, spitting
out the fangs. "I should have been a garlic farmer instead. Well, please being
come on in!"
Al wandered into the dimly lit room to hear
creepy freakish music and see the even more creepy, freakish guests that inhabited
Lupe Forest's many caves, houses, holes, and lakes. Nopaw the split Lupess was
the first to greet him, dressed in a black wig and a gold dress with heavy eye
make-up and looking very much like the lovely Princess Sankara. The businesslike
secretary gave Al a small tour around the house before letting him mingle with
the other guests.
"Hello there, Al! Long time no see! Drinks are
over here, food is over there. The dance floor is over here, although no one
seems to be dancing at the moment except for Goldpaw, and there is also a costume
contest and spooky stories later on. If you want to know anything else, please
contact me!! I'll be by my desk...er, by the punch bowl..."
Goldpaw the yellow Lupe, Alpha of Lupe Forest,
was clad in a disco leisure suit, complete with an Afro wig. He shuffled across
the dance floor, getting many awkward stares from the other pets. Hollypaw the
Christmas Lupe was dressed in a blue parka as the ice faerie, looking very cold
and bitter (although she usually was anyway).
Big Dippaw was dressed up as an Alien Aisha
in a pale yellow costume with a fishbowl and several extra ears over his head,
and his wife, Pawla, was gotten up as Edna the Witch in a black dress and hat.
Whenever Big Dippaw made a rude or sarcastic comment, belched, or did anything
that his wife disapproved, Pawla would beat him over the head with her fake
plastic broom until he apologised.
A ghostly white sheet covered Peacepaw the blue
hippy Lupe, and Al couldn't even recognise him until he began to sing along
with the music in his horrible, cracking voice. Lulupaw the island Lupess had
a fin attached to her legs to give her the appearance of a Water Faerie. As
usual, she was talking up a tropical storm about her homeland, Mystery Island,
with the other Lupes
Peachpaw the pink faerie Lupess showed up, and
showing impressive magical talent, walked around with her head in her arms...literally.
There were a lot of whispers surrounding her decapitated appearance, and many
believed the snobby, pretty Lupess would win the costume contest with ease.
Hotpaw the fire Lupe and Thornpaw the white
Lupe had gotten together to build a double Snowager costume, and Thornpaw, with
his unusually powerful sinuses, constantly sneezed blasts of ice that were similar
to the Snowager's attack, and they were also being talked about for winning
the costume contest. But Fluffy, in his own Snowager Suit, was very jealous,
and he bit Thornpaw whenever he got the chance.
Warpaw the red Lupe had dressed up as Jeran,
copying his armour right down to the sword and shield, although he boasted that
he was a better fighter. Well, at least until Hollypaw flexed her large biceps
that greatly surpassed his, causing him to shy away from the others for the
rest of the evening to secretly nibble on power neggs and grumble about more
training for his Balthazar costume next year.
All around, everyone was having a good time,
and it looked like it was going to be a great party. But little did they know
that someone had followed Al away from his home in Furgleton. That her masked
eyes now watched them, plotting, planning, and preparing...
To be continued...