The Captain and crew of the pirate ship ‘Dubloon Desperado’
had just engaged in a food fight during dinner. Their slave/cook, Carbona Copy,
the attractive but cheeky Usul, was not impressed.
Suddenly, out of the shadows someone grabbed
Carbona by the arm and pulled her aside behind some barrels. She gave a small
squeak of alarm.
“Do you know why they went berserk?” the mysterious
“Too many non-alcoholic beverages at the Golden
Dubloon? How am I supposed to know?”
“No! It’s a hard life on the open sea! Many
of these pirates have gone mad, being separated from their family and friends
for 2-3 days.”
“Yeah, I can believe it. I know half the ship’s
crew still go to sleep at night with their teddy bears.”
“True. I like your wit and sense of reality
about the real world. I see myself, however, as a truly independent Neopet who
plans to see the world,” the mystery man said, puffing out his chest. Carbona
narrowed her eyes, “In other words, you are either a coward or are a bit of
a loser. Or both.” She thought all pirates were obnoxious jerks like Stud.
“On the contrary, I think of myself as the most
sane and normal Neopet on this ship. But now I have run into you, I’ll have
trouble competing for that title because you are funny, pretty and smart. Is
there anything this girl, can’t do?”
Carbona wondered where this was leading. The
mystery man smiled and looked at her candidly.
“What is your name, girl? I’ve seen you around
the ship, but I have never introduced myself. I’m new around here. ”
Just then one of the pirates still seated at
the dinner table spotted them and hollered. “Go Lefty! You probably have a better
chance to hook up with her than Stud!”
“What was that person saying to you?” Carbona
“Never mind, private joke. It is to do with
my name, Left Hook. You probably think that’s funny, since I don’t have one.
Go on, laugh!”
“No, its okay. My name is Carbona.”
“Like the pasta!!” L.H. couldn’t help holding
his sides with laughter.
“No, like the metal. My owner liked science.”
“No, he really liked the pasta.”
Left Hook liked what he saw. He decided to trust
Carbona. “You seem like a pretty honest person and not one to gossip. You promise
not to tell a secret?”
“Okay, I promise.”
“Do you know the ship’s cook?”
“Well, I have heard she is really shy and no-one
really likes her. The reason the crew had a food fight was because they decided
to buy takeaway today and leave whatever food the cook makes for them. Stud
thought of that. Wasn’t that an ingenious idea?”
Carbona grimaced and shook her fist. “Stud!
I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. That Slugawoo!”
“Don’t bother about him. He doesn’t deserve
your intellect. Know him personally? Believe it or not, he’s my brother.”
Carbona gave a strangled cry. “Help me, I’m
stuck in a cliché pirate story!”
“He’s the evil one, I assume,” grinned Carbona
in her old cheeky way.
“How did you know?” Left Hook turned his head
on one side and gave her a quizzical look.
“Let’s just say I read too many of these types
of stories.” Carbona decided he was kind of cute when he looked like that.
Unfortunately, the captain and crew would soon
be looking for desert and she knew she had to return to the galley. She smiled
at Left Hook and turned and walked away before he could say anything else. She
felt a strange new sensation in her chest. A tiny fluttering like a swarm of
nervous buzzers. What am I thinking? thought Carbona. All pirates
are swine! She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice
Stud following her to the galley.
“Can I help you, doll face?” Stud strutted into
the kitchen where Carbona worked. She automatically tensed up. She turned her
back and started to quickly pummel some bread dough she had been working on.
Bang, crash, thud! The bread dough looked more like pizza base.
“How’s the pasta coming, sweet cheeks? You know
how the captain loves his pasta.”
“Pass the meatballs and sauce. Oops! What a
pity!” Carbona purposely spilled some of the sauce over his shirt. Stud jumped
back in horror.
“Clumsy Kau! Watch what you’re doing!”
Carbona remembered Stud’s dirty trick with the
takeaway and the food fight. She grew resentful and angry. “It’s all about you,
isn’t it! The world revolves around you! I hate you! Get away from me! How could
you?” She grabbed the extra bowl of pasta that Stud had requested and dumped
it right on top of his head.
“My white blouse! You ruined my favourite white
blouse with the ruffle down the front! Now I have to wash and iron another one.”
Stud didn’t know what was going on. No matter
how nice he tried to be Carbona always seemed to be ticked off with him. He
licked off the sauce which had fallen onto his face from the spaghetti pile
on top of his head.
Carbona continued to stare sullenly at Stud.
“I’m nothing but a dirt pie or something to you. You don’t appreciate me! Go!
Get out of my kitchen!”
“But it’s the captain’s kitchen really. He owns
“I know that, you moron! Just get out!” Carbona
picked up another bowl of spaghetti sauce and held it up menacingly.
“Alright, I’ll go. For now.” Stud thudded up
the stairs and left an angry trail of sauce spots in his wake.
Late that night, Stud went down the stairs to
the ship’s cellar to be alone. No-one used that part of the ship at night. Stud
felt dejected. How could Carbona treat him like that? Wasn’t he the handsomest,
strongest, cleverest pirate around? What more did she want? He even went to
Neo School to study ‘Picking Up Pirates 101’ to learn Pet-tiqutte and how to
rescue damsels in distress. Stud sat on a crate and started to write on a bit
of paper. Suddenly he heard the stairs creak and the thud of heavy boots.
“I was wondering why the cellar door was left
open. Stud, is that you? What is the matter?!” Left Hook put his hand on Stud’s
“Yeah, what is the Dubloon Disaster?” Olanda
Hoy poked his head out from behind Lefty.
Stud quickly scrunched up his piece of paper
and threw it in a corner of the room behind some barrels. He hoped no-one had
noticed, but Lefty had very sharp eyes. Stud wiped his eyes on his sleeve and
sat upright. He had to act tough around the guys.
“Nothing’s wrong,” sniffed Stud in an unconvincing
“There, there, Stud,” Lefty said soothingly
and sat down and patted him on the back.
Olanda watched the other two and shifted his
feet impatiently. “Armada!” he coughed loudly.
Lefty looked in Olanda’s direction. “What was
that you said?”
“It is pirate for ‘hurry up and get back to
what you are doing or someone might get ticked off’. By the way, am I the only
one who follows orders around here? It’s your turn to take watch, Stud. Hop
to it.” Olanda clumped back to the main deck.
“You have a lot to learn about being a pirate,
mate!” shouted Olanda to Lefty as he departed.
Left Hook drew his dagger and yelled back at
Olanda, “Oh yeah? Come back here and say that to my face!”
Stud quickly grabbed the dagger ? yoink! “Hey!
Just what I needed. Thanks!”
Left Hook couldn’t believe that Stud had managed
to surprise him and take his dagger. Now he was unarmed and afraid of what Stud
might do in his present state of mind. However, it turned out that Stud was
merely sharpening his pencil.
“Finest point in Neopia! I’m going to have the
sharpest lead pencils at Neo School this summer. Thanks to this handy sharp
blade. Now where’s that paper I dropped?”
“Argh, ship of fools!” Lefty muttered under
When no-one was looking Stud grabbed the piece
of paper that he was writing on. He went up the stairs and ran back to his cabin.
Turned on his shadow lantern and unfolded the piece of paper. He began to write,
“I feel so bad at the moment, perhaps I should consider leaving the ship.” A
few minutes later, he paused and stopped writing. He folded up the paper. “Nah,
maybe I shouldn’t. I’m greatly liked and would be missed by all. Except ‘you
Stud got ready for bed. As he lay down a he
had a niggling thought, “Why do I have a feeling I have forgotten to do something?”
He went to bed and dreamed his favourite dream of flying Peachpa cocktails.
He also envisioned what might be in-store for the crew tomorrow when another
wacky day on the ‘Dubloon Desperado’ was going to take place.
To be continued...
Author’s note: Arrgh, bet you thought that would be the end of pirate stories
from me. Ye be wrong. Wanna bet? 5 dubloons? Argh, you cheapskate!
Feel free to Neomail me about the first part of my continuing series or any
of the future parts in this series. I would really appreciate and love to hear
feedback on what people thought of it. Thanks.