Neopian Mix-ups: Ice and Cold
It's been another one of those odd weeks dodging Boochi,
sledding down Terror Mountain, and knocking out the Snowager. But I'm getting
ahead of myself. Hi! For all those who didn't catch last week's, or two weeks
or what ever the gap is, episode, I'm agent reverbir, double-seven-o. Well,
drop the agent and double-seven-o stuff and you're left with plain old, "homeless"
reverbir and his pets Arcat15 the Christmas Acara, Poogleemee the yellow Poogle,
and Neosentret14 the green Meerca. We're a regular trio of starving game freaks.
Starving because I can never get to the food stores on time and omelette only
goes so far. We're also the self-appointed kings of transmogrification, having
disposed of Dr. Frank Sloth using an odd potion combo. But that's enough flashbacks.
Arcat15, or Arcy, and I were alone in the tree
house we all had built ourselves. That's why it appears that I have no NeoHome.
It is somewhere near Neopia Central, just within sight of the Money Tree. Neosentret14,
or just Neosen, was at the Game room playing glue-myself-to-a-table, or Cheat
as he calls it. I'm serious; you can't get that Meerca away from Cheat, unless
you have one thing, something that had just arrived at my door. Arcy was complaining
that he was bored, even of the game room. In vain I suggested he visit Kauvara,
the magic shop Kau. "Nah, she's always so busy," said my depressed Acara, "and
when she isn't, she tries to test her new potions on me! You know what I got
turned into last time? A Grarrl. With Pteri wings, a Zafara tail, and Uni and
Tonu horns! She's nuts!" He was right of course; Kauvara has a secret stash
of "fusion" potions, potions that make you look worse than Sloth's worst mutant
But to that package; as I suggested
another plan in vain, my makeshift doorbell rang. Outside on the veranda I spotted a
medium-sized box and a note from Kareemee2, the only Neopet of my brother, Kingwerewolf,
a.k.a. King, or "your highness" when I'm feeling especially sarcastic. The blue
Kacheek's got a reputation, one for TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, AWFUL, cooking. He is
capable of blowing up entire kitchens with only a camp stove, a frying pan,
peppers, and hot sauce. He's actually done that twice at my house. As for now,
he's officially banned. The note read as follows:
"Dear uncle reverbir,
There's nothing new here, the kitchen's still intact, going on 3 hours straight.
I whipped up some brownies for you before Kingwerewolf kicked me out. When can
I visit again? Love, Kareemee2."
Actually, the Kacheek isn't all that bad at some
things. For example, his brownies can get even Neosen away from Cheat. That's
a strategy I used now.
Approaching the game room, I planned how I'd make
my entrance. I decided on quiet and sneaky followed by loud and spooky. My Lupe
howl, while not the best impression of the real thing, did get Neosen about a
foot off the chair, measuring from the end of his long tail. While he was still
in the air, I grabbed him and started hauling tail, and Meerca, out of the building.
I added to his torture by mentioning Kareemee2's delivery.
Unfortunately, that didn't work out quite right,
and I arrived home with several bumps, bruises, and a dirt-stained shirt. Neosenter14
had overpowered me upon hearing that "cousin" Karee had delivered brownies.
I managed to grab his tail, but that was a real bad idea. He literally dragged
me all the way home, still maintaining a very quick pace.
Once through the door, Neosen threw himself at
the brownies and ate half the box, and half the brownies, in under twenty seconds.
Arcy and I managed to drag him away and divide what was left between the two
of us. Hea-ven… Oops, sorry, lost myself there. Anyway, with the whole family
home, we got down to business of choosing the recreation of the day. After some
bickering and Neosen hunting for brownie crumbs, we picked an activity out of
a hat. We were going skiing!
On the way to Terror Mountain, there wasn't much
action except for finding a transmogrification potion on the ground. I made
sure to store it safely away. I didn't want to go through the whole Kauvara
torture just to regain my human form. My fingernails were still blue from the
last time that happened. I also bought a green paint brush, just in case. After
all, where better to run into Boochi than where most Bruces make their home?
At Happy Valley, I went to buy ski lift passes while the green duo got into
a Snow War with some Pteris and Wockies. When I returned I found two unusual
snowmen, vaguely resembling a frightened Meerca and Acara, "Come on you two,
don't just stand there, we need to ski!"
Well, ski's not the right word. I mean, I skied
rather well, but my pets had other preferences. Neosen was still at the sledding
stage while Arcy was brave enough to try snowboarding. We had a good chat and
banter on the gondola, until we heard that dreaded word. "Boochi!" said that
cute-but-evil voice from one gondola behind us.
"Oh. No!" said Arcy, looking back, "not here,
not now! You here me you menace! Put that gun down! Hey! I said, put the gun…
uh… oh…" Bzzzzzappp! Arcat15, now baby colored, went flying off the gondola
accompanied by Boochi's amused laughter. Somehow though, Arcy landed on his
board, and despite a size deficiency, boarded all the way down the mountain.
Neosen and I leapt off the gondola and slid down
after my poor Acara. Bad choice of words, poor us! I wiped out and the Meerca
hit a mogul. At the bottom, I spotted Arcy buying a slushy, completely uninjured.
Fighting down jealousy, I dug Neosen and myself out of the snowballs that trapped
us and walked over to the Acara. After fixing up his color problem and buying
two more slushies, the three of us hopped another gondola. Fortunately, Boochi
left us alone this time. We had some fun runs down the mountain, until Neosen
got bored. Having nothing else to do, we tried some Cliffhanger. After purposely
sending the Tuskaninny over the cliff a few times, we headed back down for the
I must tell you now, Neosen is a gambler. So
it made sense, if it was shocking, that he suggest we try to swipe something
from the Snowager. For you ignorant owners, and I mean Newbies, the Snowager
is a Negg-hoarding snake. And man, he's a big one at that. He's awake most of
the time, but if you catch him asleep, feel free to take a prize. That's the
state we found ourselves in, my first time not catching this serpent in a bad
mood. Neosen was feeling pretty lucky, until the earthquake.
Boy, what a pickle we were in! The shake sent
rocks to seal up the entrance to the cavern, and woke the Snowager up. Just
imagine the odds, and they were against us today. We were Snowager lunch. Or
so he thought! The pets and I are pretty nimble; we dodged all over the place,
swiping toys when we neared the pile. Eventually, he cornered us all at once.
I backed up slowly as his head neared me, hitting the wall and feeling that
potion I'd found earlier. Trusting luck once more, I pulled it out and tossed
it into the snake's big mouth. He swallowed it and reared up for the strike.
At that moment, he fainted. The drink obviously didn't agree with him. He rocked
for a while, then fell towards the blocked entrance, sending the rocks flying
We quietly sneaked out so as not to disturb the
sleeping, uh, beauty. Once out in the main cave, I heard a weak "Boooo-chiiii…."
Nearing the sound, I found the Baby Bruce lying near a small ice chunk. He was
unconscious, and I couldn't pass that opportunity up. Grabbing Boochi, I gently
tossed him into the Snowager's lair.
"Ha-ha! Good going rev, Boochi won't be bugging
us for a while," said Arcy.
"You mean bugging YOU, Arcy, You're the only
one vulnerable to his gun," shot out Neosen.
"Hey, hey! Guys, settle down, let's just go
home, this has been enough excitement for my taste today." And we did, chuckling
at what we pictured an encounter between the Snowager and Boochi would be like.
Note: I wish to now formally apologize in advance to the Neopets staff and
the Random Event Council, if such an organization exists, for my abuse of Event
characters like Boochi. I also apologize to everyone I've offended by tossing
Boochi to the Snowager. You should know that Boochi escaped unscathed, as the
Snowager was still sleeping when he came, too. Being only a baby, Boochi had
no plans for revenge, yet, but he still haunts me even now. He just hasn't hit
Arcy in a while. Thank you, and sorry once again in advance.