Now that their days of buccaneering on the high seas have long passed them by, Kavennagh the Kyrii
and his old pal Bartleby the Skeith love to spend every afternoon reliving their past glories with a
friendly game of Armada. As each carefully navigates his fleet across the board, these two have been
known to spin fantastic tales about their days as young pirates. Despite a friendship of many
decades, when it comes to Armada these two are all business. No quarter is asked for, and likewise
none is given.
"Aye, are ye ready for yer daily floggin'?" Kavennagh the Kyrii asked as he pulled up his chair to sit across the board from his old pal Bartleby the Skeith. "Heave to!" Bartleby protested. "How soon ye be forgettin' the drubbin' I were givin' ye just yesterday afternoon. Tell me old friend, has yer memory gotten THAT bad?" "Ahoy stripey, don't be worryin' about me and me memory." Kavennagh shot back. "Besides, I seem to be recalling that I'd won three days in a row before ye salvaged some dignity with that lucky win yesterday." "Aye, I be understandin' now... whenever I be winnin' it's luck, but whenever ye manage to scrape by with a victory, well that be skill, I suppose?" Bartleby asked. "Precisely, old coat." Kavennagh chuckled as he set up the pieces...
Having played thousands of matches over the years, it didn't take very long for them to figure out each other's strategy. "Ahoy, swabby!" Kavennagh exclaimed. "Are ye honestly thinkin' that ye can bunch up in the corners against me? When will ye learn? That strategy weren't workin' twenty years ago when you were Jack O' Cups on the S.S. Speedwocky, and it aren't workin' against me today!" "Avast laddie," Bartleby countered, "it were plenty good to give ye a righteous keelhaulin' yesterday! Why don't ye be provin' to me that it won't be workin'? Besides, it's not like ye haven't been using that same strategy since ye were a sprog on the S.S. Kaulotta... I be practically havin' it memorised!" "Aye, for someone who practically be havin' me strategy memorised, you sure do be havin' a hard time beatin' it!" Kavennagh sneered. As the match wore on, the wise old Kyrii jumped out to a big lead. Once it started to look certain that he'd avenge the previous day's loss against Bartleby, the grizzly old Skeith began to get real nervous. "Erm, Kavennagh," Bartleby asked, "aren't ye hungry? Methinks I'd like to be gettin' a bite--" "Yer in luck!" Kavennagh responded as he reached under his chair. "I be havin' some Fresh Seaweed Pie right here. Help yerself..." "Aye, I just remembered," Bartleby said nervously as he moved one of the few ships he had left on the board, "I promised Captain Threelegs I'd drop by and be visitin' one of his classes today..." "Ahoy, Bartleby!" Kavennagh reminded him, then moved another ship. "That class aren't today; it be tomorrow, at noon."
"Avast, silly freebooter," the Kyrii laughed, "electric stoves haven't even been invented yet! Hey, ye aren't tryin' to sneak out on me, are ye?" "Aye, of course not!" Bartleby shouted. "What sort of scallywag do you be takin' me for?" "Yer right, what were I thinking? Besides," Kavennagh said as he picked up one of his ships, "thanks to this last move, I've just beat you and avenged me loss from yesterday..." "WHAT?!?" Bartleby shouted as he looked at the board and saw it was true. Indeed, he had no more moves left, yet his fleet remained greatly outnumbered....
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"Man!" Bartleby thought. "There's no way I can be lettin' him beat me... I'll never be
hearin' the end of it!" Desperate for an excuse to get away before losing, the
Skeith blurted out, "I were just rememberin', I forgot to turn off me oven. Ahoy, I've got
to be goin' before me NeoHome burns down!"
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